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October 31st, 2013, 09:17 AM
*JenJen*'s Avatar
*JenJen* *JenJen* is offline
impatiently waiting
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: west, but east. south, but not north.
Posts: 7,853
I know you mentioned that your DIL had asked your son not to tell you- she might be pretty angry and upset and ashamed that you know now. She's grieving this loss- which is not just an early miscarriage, but a later loss. She's grieving the loss of her privacy, and her ability to have people in the dark as to what she is going through and being able to pretend to be normal around them. Let her have her space. Don't call. If you want her to know you are there for her, send her a note- let her know that you care, that you are there if she wants to talk, but that you won't bring it up and will take your cues from her.

Unless you have dealt with going through fertility treatments and dealing with recurrent loss, you really cannot fathom just how much each loss can hurt and destroy parts of your soul. I know for me personally that as much as I love the support of family and friends, if I am not ready to deal with it, I'd flip. I don't answer the phone, I don't return texts, etc. when I am in my bubble and dealing with it. It takes time to come out of it, and a loss at the holidays is by far the hardest time of year for me- this is the season for families and dealing with empty arms is just another reminder that I fail at starting my own family and its my own **** fault.

My Blog
Me: 27, PCOS, ENDO, RPL, severe vitamin D defficiency
Him: 36, severe MFI post VR but counts climbing

2006-2015 7+ years of NTNP, TTC, TTCMA, Losses, Surgeries, and Diagnoses.
RPL and Genetic Tests came back 100% normal | Endo, PCOS, severe MFI
Multiple early losses between 3 and 8 weeks.

IVF referral in= 7/2017
RE Appt #1- 8/22/2017- doctor swears I don't have PCOS or RPL, go VEGAN to cure all
RE Appt #2- 8/24/2017- sono shows clear cysts, high afc, all bloodwork comes back PCOS typical

PAUSED UNTIL JANUARY 2018 to find a new IVF clinic

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