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November 11th, 2013, 09:28 PM
cutenurse24 cutenurse24 is offline
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: TN
Posts: 5,590
So I worked three nights in a row and yesterday (Sunday) was my day to sleep to help reset myself after working three nights in a row. After I got up from my nap, I pretty much spent all evening in tears. The closer I get to delivery day, the more I am beginning to panic. I had an awful delivery with DS where I almost didn't make it. So in the back of my mind I keep wondering would DS remember me if something happened to me. Would he remember his mommy or forget me because there aren't a lot of pics of me around the house, I have lots of DS and hubs because I am always the one behind the camera. I am terrified of having another delivery like I did with DS but not making it and leaving DH with two kids. It breaks my heart to think that I wouldn't get to watch the kids grow and get to grow old with DH. Please tell me I am not the only one feeling like this.

My delivery story: I was young, stupid, and naive when I was pregnant with DS. I didn't understand what being induced meant, I just knew that I wanted DH to be there for DS's birth. I went in on a Wednesday night for them to put the inserts to help start labor. I was stuck 4 times for an IV because the nurse had issues getting the catheter to thread. After two of the inserts were put in I was starting to have some pretty good contractions. Little did I know that to my doctor induction meant to do every intervention possible. So he came in at 7am, broke my water and placed an internal monitor on baby. After he broke my water I got in a really awful intense contraction pattern and began to have back labor. I would try to move around the room and walk but the nurse would have a cow if I came unhooked from the monitor. Another hour or two, Pitocin was added to the mix and I thought I was dying from the contractions. My natural birth plan went out the window and I was begging for an epidural. Before I could get the epidural the nurse wanted to give me some IV fluid, by then my IV was no longer any good and I had to be stuck 2 more times for a new IV. I was getting the fluid bolus as the CRNA came in the room to do my epidural. After being stuck 3/4 times he got the epidural in and gave me a bolus of pain medicine. Apparently I am super sensitive to pain medicine because a few moments after I got the bolus of pain medicine my BP tanked to 60/30 and baby was in distress. My husband was in distress, panicked, and began to pace out in the hallway. (I think he panicked because the night of the induction I made him promise that if anything happened to me, that he let our child know my parents. Who says that to their spouse on the eve of delivering?? I did because I had a bad feeling in my stomach.) My mom stayed by my side and so did my nurse while unbeknownst to me, my room was filling up with nurses, CRNA, anesthesia, and my doctor's partner (b/c my doctor was in the middle of an emergency c-section). I felt awful and about to pass out when the nurses made me get on all fours and one of them had their hands in my vajay jay to try and stimulate baby. It was a very intense time that felt like forever but thankfully baby recovered although my BP never got over 90s/50s. I labored for another four hours and then rushed back for an emergency c-section because baby was having significant decels and not recovering well from them. Realized when I was being rushed to the OR that my epidural had never been running, it was placed in my back but I never got the pain medicine because the nurse never hooked it up. I was able to move myself/scoot myself over to the OR table. They prepped me and then they started the incision and I about came off the table because I felt them cutting me. They tried to reassure me that I was only feeling pressure and not them cutting on me. They gave me another bolus dose pain medicine sent my BP down into the 70s/40s and then they pulled out baby. I felt lousy and very pukey, I got Zofran but it didn't help much at all. Hubs brought baby over to tell me that we had a son. The nurse in me freaked out because he was grunting, his breathing was labored, and his nostrils were flaring. Hubs followed him to the nursery while I waited to for them to finish sewing me up.

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