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November 17th, 2013, 12:51 PM
unsure23 unsure23 is offline
Join Date: Nov 2013
Posts: 3
I am 27 and am a single mom to a 10 yr old son. I have been with my bf on and off for about 4 years. We have taken breaks and been with other people and have both been unfaithful to each other. He has been physically abusive. I stopped talking to him almost 3 weeks ago after I found out he was talking to another woman. I moved out of my apt 2 weeks ago and he doesn't know where I live and I blocked his phone number. Wanted a clean break from him. e still emails me and wants to work things out. Last time I slept with him I took plan b. I just found out Im 5 weeks pregnant. I was just starting to feel better with him out of my life. I don't know what to do. I haven't told him. but I'm sure he would want me to keep it. He lives paycheck to paycheck and smokes weed almost everyday, he's 24. I haven't told anyone about it b/c my family doesn't think it is a healthy relationship to be with him. Since I left him ive been feeling genuinely happy and thinking about my future. I just started a new job and want to go back to school. Now everything has changed. I know this sounds horrible but i keep wishing ill have a miscarriage and the relief i would feel. I know i've made a lot of poor decisions and judgments but i want to learn from them and do the right thing. Even rereading my post i cant believe I've gotten myself into this situation and feel very ashamed and stupid. I believe a baby is a blessing so maybe this happened for a reason? I'm just afraid that I would be on my own with the pregnancy and am unsure how much my ex-bf would contribute to being a parent. I dont want to live with him. I dont even really want him in my life b/c although there are good things about him the lies and the anger issues he has seem to spoil it all. He is also not a great role model to my son. I want to be in a loving and supportive relationship to have another baby. But maybe that is not in the cards for me and I should work with what Ive got? I think about how sad and empty ill feel after an abortion. Any advice on specific things I should consider before making a decision would be very helpful or if anyone has gone through a similar situation.
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