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November 19th, 2013, 10:33 AM
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TiggersMommy TiggersMommy is offline
Super Mommy
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Tucson, AZ
Posts: 708
I'm sorry your last birth was so rough on you.

Honestly, my birth hurt. Hurt like a *****. But, I had a bunch of tools in my tool belt that helped me stay calm and ultimately I walked away with a really positive birth experience. Staying calm is rule number one when it comes to managing pain. How you do that is a personal thing. Some women find visualization and affirmations to really help (see methods like Hypnobirthing). Some women focus on relaxation techniques. Some women use vocalization. Still others find their own unique methods. I was sort of a relaxation/vocalization mama. I focused on keeping my muscles loose, especially my jaw (which is surprisingly effective at inducing whole body calm) and keeping my tones looooooow.

Rule number two is freedom of movement. You'll never know ahead of time which position you're going to prefer as it varies from birth to birth. Make sure your care providers will give you the freedom to move around as you please. Have your DH practice different laboring positions with you. He'll need a lot of coaching ahead of time in order to be a good birth partner. Don't let yourself feel pressured to use any one position because you've heard it was great. I tried the birth ball and immediately wanted it to DIE. The tub was my savior. Some women like to run the halls when they're in labor (no joke I had a friend do that with her surprise breech baby). Find what works.

Rule number three is support. If you're struggling to cope its a sign you need help refocusing. A doula might be a great option for you since your DH wasn't much help. A doula can provide counter pressure, verbal reassurance, suggest positions, etc.
DD Teagan 9/25/10

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