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November 21st, 2013, 02:11 AM
nickynoodle nickynoodle is offline
Join Date: Nov 2013
Posts: 4
Hello Ladies
I am new here as i have just found out i am pregnany with my 3rd (and final ) baby but what should be a joyus time has me wishing i was dead so I didnt have all this pain.... here is my partner and I are both 31 and have been together on and off 9 years with 2 beautiful boys aged 4 & 3 years they are perfect (they both have a few speech issues which I am working on with speech therapy) but other than that they are awesome kids. I will be honest... I can get quite stressed and overly emotional as my 2 preschoolers are very busy and my partner is (what his mother likes to tell me is a unique personality and is a 'free spirit'). He likes to go out and not be tied down... I used to get really angry about his lack of being at home...but now, I just take it as it comes (he's not the type to cheat he just enjoys hanging with his friends). He is quite highly strung as he has his own business and it is very up and down at certain times which means he can get quite demanding and moody sometimes (my family get upset by what he is like but they are just as bad)... So enough about our past life drama....BUT NOW it gets worse. I found out i am pregnant!! and after only a few months off the depo (due to medical issues) and had pretty much been told by a doctor that it would take well over 6 months to even become fertile again... yes i am naive and BOOM 2 months later here i am. My partner has said I AM HAVING AN ABORTION NO QUESTION!! and to start with i thought maybe I should have one because he doesnt need anymore stress, but after seeing the scan and the heartbeat that told me I was 6 weeks along, I dont think I can go through with it. He has an idea now that i want to have the baby and is now telling me at every chance he can.... that if I am selfish and if I do have the baby I obviously dont love our boys we have and he will leave the boys and me and the unwanted piece of tissue that will ruin my life! Im a mess and dont know what to do at all... I dont want my boys to hate me for having this baby but I also know if I even tried to have an abortion it will mess me up mentally. I have also had 4 miscarriages and they were some of the hardest times in my life so abortion just doesnt seem realistic at all...I just dont know what to do and any advise would be greatly appreciated. Sorry to ramble on.
Thanks in advance
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