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December 27th, 2013, 09:53 PM
kkelley1226 kkelley1226 is offline
First-time Mommy-to-Be!
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: Ohio
Posts: 31
Oh I know, when I was much younger I had to go through a complicated abortion because of a poor choice I'd made and I was too young and too small to survive a pregnancy and delivery. I had to make that choice for myself once before, and it was difficult even then, knowing that if I had the baby one or both of us might not make it. It is even more difficult now knowing that I'm in better health, had previously thought that because of those complications I couldn't carry a child, and now am with the love of my life and would be thrilled to have a family. I'm conflicted because of our financial situation and how complicated all of this could finding a job with my degree that would be willing to accept me knowing I'd be taking maternity leave so soon after starting, trying to catch up on the debts we have now and fighting resistance and negativity from family, all while desperately trying to finish my senior year of college while living with anxiety. It's a tough decision either way. On one hand, we could abort and attempt to plan things out as we'd kind of planned to already, yet we'd both have to live with that decision and hope that we didn't mess up our chance. On the other hand, we could go through with the pregnancy, take it all as it comes, and potentially turn out just fine. There are so many unknowns that make this an especially difficult decision to make... I don't know how people do it.

I have briefly considered adoption, but as selfish as it may sound, any child I bear is a child I want to raise myself. I would be happy to give a loving couple the child they'd always wanted... but I'd be without my baby. This is such a life-changing moment!

And to that last post... thank you so much for the supportive and kind words! I don't know what to say, so many women have shown me so much support since I posted about our situation, and thanks to this it has really made me think about this more and raise more questions between Jeramy and I. We have been discussing it on and off and have been more open about the possibility of keeping the baby, and it is wonderful to have a window opened instead of fully jumping into the decision to abort without wholeheartedly sitting down and discussing what going through with it would entail for us.
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