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February 4th, 2014, 08:31 PM
mamatomany mamatomany is offline
Super Mommy
Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 848
I'm so, so sorry you're in this situation. All of the ladies who come to ths board will tell you that if you are at ALL conflicted you should absolutely not go through with the abortion. YOU are the mother of this baby and the one who will have to deal with emotions after an abortion, not your boyfriend, not your mother and sister. If you do not think you want to, please please please do not let anyone pressure you in any way to get one.

If you want to raise this baby don't let the idea of inconvenice stop you. Very, very few of us got pregnant at a 'convenient' time. And if you wait until it's 'convenient' that time may never come. Or what seemed convenient might change after you have the baby. We have no way to predict the future, we can only make choices and then embrace the choic. As far as college goes, colleges are excellent at helping parents finish school. There are so many aid programs, childcare programs, and grants. Even more aid will now be available to yiu as you have a dependent.

It is true that if you keep this baby your family will probably be upset for a while. Perhaps even until the baby is born. They may say hurtful things and become very unsupportive and pressuring. But your son or daughter's life is not in their hands and it's not their decision. And believe me, when they see that sweet little face for the first time they will absolutely be done with all that and very well may turn into crazily doting relatives. If not, they're the ones missing out.

Anyway, I really encourage you not to let the stress of being told you shouldn't take on this challenge eat at you. You are the mother, the baby is growing in you, not them. What they did when it was their decision really has nothing to do with you, and don't let them try to make it about that.

Your boyfriend is supportive. If you want this baby, make it clear, ask for his support, and then face your family together. If he's willing to man up and be a dad to this baby, you're home free. If not, it will be harder, but you've totally got this. I encourage you to join a due date board here on just mommies. You can talk with other women due the same month you are and it's very encouraging. You may even find other moms in your same situation.

In any case, best wishes and please keep us posted.

One more quick thing. You mentioned you might not be ready to be a parent. I just wanted to encourage you that pretty much none of us are the first time . I don't think you can be 'ready' for the glorious, crazy ride that is parenthood. And you can't ever imagine the overwhelming love and joy either. Big hugs to you!
Brooke, happy mama to one girl (9), and four boys (7, 5, 3, and 2) and a surprise post-vasectomy miracle baby born February 7.
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