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March 22nd, 2014, 12:29 AM
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Quantum_Leap Quantum_Leap is offline
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Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Seattle area, Washington
Posts: 9,756
I am going to echo the Love and Logic recommendation! I don't love everything about it, but on the whole it's the best and most manageable approach that I have discovered works in most situations. As my husband says, even in times when it doesn't change the child's behavior, it certainly helps to make the adult feel calmer and control his/her behavior better (thus avoiding situations like the knee-jerk spankings you mentioned). See if you can check out the books on tape from your local library -- they're quite entertaining and a great access point for understanding the approach.

I'll also just throw this out there that for my boys (who are both exceedingly headstrong and stubborn), I've noticed that their behavior is 1000% different on days when they get to spend a large amount of time outside than on days when they're cooped up inside. They just have a tremendous amount of energy that needs an outlet, and when they get to play outside for an extended stretch, they use that energy in healthful ways and then don't feel as compelled to unleash it destructively on one another. If they play outside for a couple of hours, when they come back in they'll eat better (high protein helps), Beau will nap better, they'll be in a better mood's really an astonishing difference. I do find that with most misbehavior, an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure, and sunshine/exercise/healthy food have been my three most effective methods of prevention.

Hang in there! This phase is always hard (especially with the very bright kids -- they know how to give you a run for your money!) But as she grows older, this phase will pass. It always does.

Thank you to the SSMC makers for my beautiful siggies!

(x2)(x2)(October 2011)
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