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February 6th, 2007, 08:43 AM
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LaLa LaLa is offline
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Join Date: Jun 2005
Posts: 11,576
Well, let me ask you this: what are YOUR reasons for wanting an UC? Are there even midwives that do homebirths in your area?

I "technically" had an UC - I had a lay MW which is illegal in my state, so technically she was just a friend who decided to show up and give labor support who so happened to have a lot of equipment like a MW would carry & who we paid to be there lol.

I think convincing him would really depend on WHY you want a UC. Would he agree to a homebirth with a MW? Get him there first, and then work your way down to UC lol.

But, knowing YOUR reasons would be best. IF you would feel more comfortable alone, if you deal with emotions & discomfort better alone, if you want it to be intimate, or if you just dont see the need.

And perhaps you could come to a healthy compromise. If you plan to have more, perhaps you could use a MW for your first homebirth, and go UC the second. Or - you could just say screw him and go at it your way lol.

But personally, when I was making the decision for a homebirth, and under the circumstances we did it (no legal MWs that will do homebirths where I live), I felt like I needed the support of my DH. I was worried that if he was hesitant and concerned and worried then I would feel that in labor & it would inhibit me. For me, the MW was more for HIM than me lol. And I like that reassurance from other women.

As for family - thats one of those that hteyll either "get it" or they wont. We told our families we were having a homebirth but never mentioned the details about the MW. They woudl have flipped. They flipped enough over the homebirth aspect. We just shrugged it off, and didnt bother to argue about it. I mentioned in my defense ONCE to them that it was as safe if not safer, and that they couldnt PAY ME to go to the local hospital with its one way doors... that took care of that. A couple of times they brought it up again, and Id just say "its non negotiable, this is our decision, end of story".

And of course, having DH on my side for THOSE discussions helped as well lol.


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