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March 6th, 2007, 05:53 PM
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jhmomofmany jhmomofmany is offline
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Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Upper Michigan
Posts: 14,600
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I was lead to it through hard experience also. Our oldest came 15 weeks early, and I labored without pain medication but with just about every other intervension you can think of and an audience of (yes, this is a literal body count) 7 medical staff and 5 family members, including my FIL who had a view just as good as the doctor's. Not that I cared at the time, but that really is how I started to think that birth should be something between my hubby and me.

Birth #2 was hospital and I was not at all gung-ho on natural birth. I had an epidural, she spent her first two nights after birth in the nursery, I didn't breastfeed... and I had major attachment issues with her. I feel like in many ways I am STILL having to work on fixing something that should never have been broken between us.

Birth #3 I had a birth plan, I was gonna go all natural, and then I went into labor and the doctor was late to get a friend at the airport. He gave me pain meds and pitocin... he didn't even TELL me, I just overheard him telling the nurse. Hubby tried to advocate for me, but we were out of our element. While I was transitioning he was standing there literally with the scissors in his hand waiting for the episiotomy. This was the same doctor that told me he only cut "if necessary". I ended up with an episiotomy that nearly punctured my rectum. He stitched me up all strange and was out the door within a few minutes.

With #4 I went to the hospital yet again. That doc allowed DH to catch the baby. But, still, I was confined to bed in a strange place, with strange people expecting to "check me" every time they walked in the room. I ended up with being confined to bed and a monitor, and IV and another "necessary" episiotomy. I really resented the complete disregard for my modesty and dignity. I was up in the stirrups pushing and somebody kept running in or out of the room and leaving the door open! It was "just hubby and me" and the doctor and a nurse and everybody in the hallway.

Baby #5 was my first homebirth and it was wonderful compared to the others. I labored quickly, delivered him painlessly (with NO episiotomy and NO tearing), and recovered physically within a few days. In fact, he wasn't even a few minutes old when we were joking about "next time". You do NOT hear that from women who have just given birth the hospital way! Usually it is more like "You are not ever touching me again!" LOL! For me, the only thing lacking with this birth was, again, the privacy issue. The midwife brought an assistant and an apprentice with her. They were all ladies I had known for months but their presence still felt like an intrusion on what should have been an intimate family moment.

Our sixth delivery was an unassisted stillbirth at 36 weeks, and even that was an incredibly painless, peaceful, and safe delivery for me despite knowing ahead of time that our baby had died. We prayed and cried and gave her a conditional baptism without hesitation or embarrassment. There were no outsiders, she was born into my hands, I found out for myself that she's a girl, and I needed it to be that way.
~Jennifer, wife of one, mother of many

Robert: 20 Raechel: 18 Daniel: 15 Joseph: 13 Thomas: 10 Mary Mae: 7 Lucy Marie: 5 John Anthony: 2 AND Baby due Dec. 2015

Always Missing our Angels: Hope (7-8-06 @36w); Francis (7-4-12 @12w); Charlie (1-19-15 @ 6w)

Congratulations Raechel and Kaleb, married May, 2015

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