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March 12th, 2007, 08:58 PM
*Bobbie*'s Avatar
*Bobbie* *Bobbie* is offline
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Rochester, NY
Posts: 15,851
Monday, 3-12-07 It's finally over.

I cried for hours last night. Finally falling asleep around 3:00am. I kept thinking we should be feeling the baby move now. We never even got to name this baby. She had no name. I could name her now, but it just doesn't feel right. She is an angel now. God can name her.

I called the Dr's office as soon as they opened today at 8:30am. I though I would have to plead my case to get the ultrasound, but they didn't even question it.

I went in at 1:45pm. The screen showed tissue still attached (placenta?) with blood flowing freely to it. I did not see anything that looked like the baby. And I was really looking and asking tons of questions. I guess the baby passed when my water broke and I didn't pay enough attention. That breaks my heart, but now a days everything is heart breaking.

I was mad as hell that I had to have a D&C after getting this far but after 5 days of waiting with no end in sight, it was the best thing to do. My cervix was still open and the tissue was not about to be free any time soon. If I went on like this I was really risking a serious infection and possibly ruining my chance to ever have another baby. Plus with the baby gone I didn't have the moral issues with the procedure.

We left the office, and dropped Dave's truck off at home. Luckily the kids were home from school so we could tell them what was going on. I made all my phone calls on the way to the hospital (Mom, sis, cousin, ex husband, in laws). We got there a little after 3:00. I was scheduled for 4:00. I cried when they put the IV in. I HATE needles. I was getting pretty scared with the unknown. They put me in pre-op for a couple minutes and then I had to say good-bye to Dave. It was somewhat of a relief to know that was the end of the waiting for us.

They started the IV with the "knock me out drugs". I was wheeled into the operation room and they had me switch from the gurney to the table. Luckily that is when they totally knocked me out. I was so scared of having to put my feet in the stirrups and feeling so vulnerable. I was scared of them not knocking me out enough. I didn't want to feel or remember any of it.

I woke up in this cheery post-op room with the nicest nurses. Everyone was smiling and willing to get me anything I needed. I woke up and said I was dreaming of being on a cruise. I wasn't in any pain yet. I felt GREAT. Like I could jump out of bed and go home. I was expecting to feel groggy and out of it. I just felt relaxed. I drank my water and then coughed a little. Big mistake.... blood all over. I can't believe they would do that surgery and not put a pad under me....LOL The nurse helped me clean up and put my own clothes back on. Then she brought me crackers and warm blankets.

At that point I started cramping pretty bad. It felt like it did after I had my kids. Like the uterus was shrinking back to normal. She gave me vicodin (sp?) and it really helped.

Now I am home. I am tired and have been bleeding. But it's a different kind of blood. It feels normal not dark red and clotty. I am glad for this part to be behind me.

I am glad to be able to try again soon to have a healthy baby. I can't wait to see my friends baby to know things sometimes turn out good. I need hope..... and for me what better hope is there than a healthy newborn? Even sitting in the Dr's office this afternoon seeing those big preggo bellies made me smile. It comforts me to know not everything ends bad. Sometimes there is a happy ending. Some books just require extra chapters to get to the end.
Bobbie mom to : Jeremy (23) Amanda (20) Matthew ( 6) and Daniel (4).... RYAN DAVID 1/4/14 8lbs 10oz 20 3/4 inches!!! My miracle happened!
step-mom to: Stephany (24) and Krista (21)
step-grandma to: Wesley, Rosemarie, Scarlett

On 1/31/12 at exactly 16 weeks pregnant Noah came too soon.
If you would like to see pictures of my sweet (but tiny) boy they can be viewed at they aren't the easiest pictures to look at but I am willing to share them with anyone who would like to see them <3
On August 2, 2012 we lost Sarah at 17 weeks. Her pictures can be viewed at
There is no known explanation for my losses.

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