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April 4th, 2007, 11:41 PM
Banned-luvnallmyboys luvnallmyboys is offline
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Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Virginia
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Hi all. I'm sure this has been posted before, but everything I searched for turned up nothing. I was just wondering what, if anything, you all do on the aniversay of your babys birth year after year? My twins would have turned 3 this coming Saturday, and honestly I can't really think of anything to do for it. The first year Dh and I went away for the weekend, and last year we just went out for dinner and shopping in the city about 2 hours away from where we live. This year I'm nearing the end of a high risk pregnancy, so we can't really go away. I guess I just feel that each year it gets to be less and less of a big deal, and I never want it to be a day that we just mention in passing and don't do anything on.

I guess I'm also struggling with not wanting whatever we do to be forced and out of obligation. Of course there are days when I'm perfectly happy. Its been three years, I have a wonderful 19 month old, I'm getting a fourth son soon, I really am happy often. Of course there are also times when I can't sleep for being sad and missing them. If their birthday falls on a wonderful, happy time is it pointless to mourn them on that day out of obligation to the date? Are the times when I still don't see how I've lived without them sufficient to honor their memory?

Going along with that, how do you keep the memory of someone alive year after year when you don't have enough memories to begin with? Its not like we can just go out to dinner and talk about their likes and dislikes, or cute things they did.

I guess I should just be glad that I'm finally ok enough to be struggling with these questions. I know some of you lost your babies quite a while ago, please give me advise on how you handle things!
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