Topic: overwhelmed
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December 21st, 2004, 04:37 PM
m4bubs m4bubs is offline
Join Date: Dec 2004
Posts: 3
Hi Ladies,

I am new to these boards and just feel horrible to be in this situation. It is completely ridiculous to feel this way but I am just so overwhelmed. Dh & I have been together for 10yrs and we have four children and did not want anymore. We agreed he was to get a vasectomy after our last child was has been nearly 12mths and of couse here I am pregnant again. Rationally this child will not make any waves - we dont' need to buy a bigger car and we are already have home extensions in planning. The pregnancy has been complicated to date (I am only 10wks) by a virus which can have adverse effects. We have to wait it out. This has added stress. Now that I am almost dealing with that I find myself panicking over the thought of having five kids. How will I cope? When will I do anything for myself? Sounds selfish I know but I have only had 8mths of our whole marriage where I haven't been either pregnant or breastfeeding. Dh is not supportive at all which I find totally ironic. He is blaming me for everything - he has this rash which is says has only come up since I told him I was pregnant, he complains that we won't be able to go places and this puts us back to square one again isntead of moving on as a family. He complains that money will be tight etc We dont' live a very high life and the $ we have will do just fine. Nothing seems to make him happy. early in the pregnancy a termination was suggested by my Dr due to the virus but I jsut couldn't do it. Teh virus sdoesn't cause any brain damage or other malformations. Instead it can cause fliud and cardiac problems causing fetal death. I woudl rather wait and let things unfold then I will know that it was meant to be. I am so cranky at him. He didnt' even come to the high risk appt I had at 8wks. I am so sorry this is so long and probably all over the place. I jsut have no one to talk to. We haven't told anyone yet...we never told with our others until at least 12wks. I am basically miserable - who woudl ever have thought that a married, supported woman with children already would be thinking how terrible it was to be pregnant? :-(
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