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-   -   Help!!!!!!! (https://www.justmommies.com/forums/f84-adoption/1923131-help.html)

alorrea March 27th, 2010 01:26 PM

Long story short, after several miscarraiges and lots of drs appts my DH and I found out that preg. is just not going to happen for us (i have issues other than fertility as well) my lovely sis offered to surrogate for us, but she's had 3 c-sections and while her ob says its ok to go for a 4th we can't find an RE who will do a IUI because of the c-section history....we tried ICI and it was a failure so IUI is the next step and IVF is just not an option for us, so now DH and I have opened the adoption door again (we were adopting a little girl and the day of the birth the mom changed her mind, I was devestated and haven't been willing to think of it) but now it looks as though God is saying this is where to look, so we want to do an independent domestic adoption but want a newborn, any advice as to where to look? I did the google thing and well it just gives me all these agencies that want a ton of money but no idea about if they actually can produce anything other than pretty pictures...I'd love some input and sorry this is so long.

SarahBethsMommy March 28th, 2010 12:07 PM

Re: Help!!!!!!!
First, welcome here! I'm sorry for all you and your DH have been through. The agencies are the best way to go. Adoption has risks just as pregnancy does, but the agencies WILL help cut down on many of those risks. I'd find a few you think look interesting and then interview them like mad. Ask tons of questions before agreeing to go with anyone. Good luck and KUP!!

BTW, I'm Beth. I'm a foster mom and hope to be an adoptive mom one day too. I also have a bio daughter who is almost 4 and an angel son and I'm pregnant again.

alorrea March 28th, 2010 03:01 PM

Re: Help!!!!!!!
Thanks for your welcome and i wish you the best in your pregnancy...I guess agency is the way we'll go although I wish it could be a more personal thing, I'd hate feeling like a page in a book that moms look through

Bug-n-Ed March 28th, 2010 03:13 PM

Re: Help!!!!!!!
You can also do private adoptions using an attorney instead of an agency. You can also have a profile listed on different websites that aren't associated with a specific agency, it just depends on how much money you are willing to put into it. A lot of the places that host a profile for adoptive couples charge about $100 a month. Look into different agencies and attorneys and find one that you feel fits the best.

You can also do foster to adopt. It doesn't guarantee that the children placed in your home will be able to be adopted since they try to reunite the children with their parents if at all possible, but you'd be helping them have a good home for the time they are in your home. Also, many are placed soon after birth if other children in the family are in state custody and in foster homes. You will usually have a child in your home fairly soon after your homestudy is completed as opposed to waiting for months to years. Doing adoption this route is usually much cheaper than using an attorney or an agency.

Good luck in your adoption journey. My husband and I are using an agency currently, but I've been thinking about doing foster to adopt.

SarahBethsMommy March 28th, 2010 07:06 PM

Re: Help!!!!!!!

Originally Posted by alorrea (Post 19606013)
Thanks for your welcome and i wish you the best in your pregnancy...I guess agency is the way we'll go although I wish it could be a more personal thing, I'd hate feeling like a page in a book that moms look through

While I completely understand that feeling, do know that many parents decide early on that they wish to allow their children to be adopted and meet those new parents quickly. So it becomes very personal.

Tami is right that you don't have to go through the agency, but with your history and concerns it seems the best way to go.

I'm a foster and foster to adopt mom too, so if you would like to know more about that, feel free to ask too!

serinna April 7th, 2010 01:02 AM

Re: Help!!!!!!!
Every mom is so great !

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