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-   -   Step-parent adoption? (https://www.justmommies.com/forums/f84-adoption/2089471-step-parent-adoption.html)

mommy2olliebeans August 31st, 2010 07:49 AM

Step-parent adoption?
Anyone ever done this before?
in Canada even?

Anyone can answer though, please :)


In the past, DH and I have talked about me adopting his daughter. Her bio-mother is not involved in her life and has not seen dsd since she was 4 months old. I have been living with DH and dsd since she was 15 months old; she is now nearly 32 months old and I have been raising her with DH. We were married in January 2010, and are expecting our first child together. He has another daughter from a previous relationship who lives with her mom, and I have a a son from a previous relationship and a daughter who passed away and lives in heaven.

We are going to be contacting a lawyer this week to start the process.

SarahBethsMommy August 31st, 2010 10:02 AM

Re: Step-parent adoption?
Welcome and Congratulations on getting the official paperwork started to let everyone know what you obviously already know... that she is your daughter.

I'm a foster parent and foster to adopt parent. I've never been through step parent adoption, but I certainly wish you tons of ease in the process!!

SuperMartianRobotMom6 August 31st, 2010 02:32 PM

Re: Step-parent adoption?
Its very common in the US if the other birth parent isnt involved. Congratulations!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :D

Jessie0505 August 31st, 2010 03:00 PM

Re: Step-parent adoption?
YAY!! Congrats!! That is super exciting!

Just_Marie August 31st, 2010 11:33 PM

Re: Step-parent adoption?
I'm in alberta and we did a private direct adoption, which would likely be the same as you are doing. Mom has to sign over guardianship to you, and I'm not sure if dad would? If mom won't sign guardianship or consent to adopt, you can get a judge to dispense with her consent, that's how it works in Ab anyhow. Happened with us, bio mom signed everything to us, bio dad wouldn't, and the judge said since he didn't contest it, the adoption went through, without his consent. Def seek legal counsel, or even call a private agency, they can walk you through it. In Ab, we just ordered the adoption kit from the Queen's Printer for $15, easy peasy.

Kari_B September 1st, 2010 05:53 AM

Re: Step-parent adoption?
Congrats! Good luck with the process!

mommy2olliebeans September 3rd, 2010 09:47 AM

Re: Step-parent adoption?
Thanks all :-) I have an appointment with the lawyer next week.......

My husband will sign, he wants us to be her parents.... We are applying to dispense with consent for the bio-mom, because she isn't involved in her life yet has joint-custody with husband (she has never used her rights or even tried)......

I am hoping that is easy for us to do.

mommy2olliebeans September 11th, 2010 02:52 PM

Re: Step-parent adoption?
Update: I met with the lawyer on Wednesday, and he would like us to try and find out her address and he is going to draw up a consent letter and attempt to have her sign it.
We all feel that she will not sign, so in that case, I think the lawyer will ask the court to do it without her consent.

the criteria for dispensing with consent are:
1. abandonment of the child (last contact with the child was in may 2008)
2. not putting in reasonable effort to fullfil parental obligations (she was given joint-custody with DH in June 2008; she has never seen Jassy since that court date)
3. not having the ability to care for the child (an assessment was completed by a registered psychologist and it states taht it is recommended that bio-mom never has children in her care unless she is supervised 24-hours a day, seven days a week)

I don't think she has a leg to stand on in this situation, and I am hoping that this goes smoothhly..... She is able to get a lawyer through legal-aid, so unfortunately we know that she will probably try to go to court with us, but I don't see it being a drawn out thing...

Jassy was born in January 2008... When DH was fighting for her, she was in foster-care, and the bio-mom was already pregnant again (different dad).... She gave birth in December 2008 to Jassy's little sister. That child was in fostercare from day 1, and is now adopted.

Just_Marie September 11th, 2010 03:42 PM

Re: Step-parent adoption?
good luck to you!

mommy2olliebeans September 11th, 2010 05:39 PM

Re: Step-parent adoption?
Thanks Marie :)

future_adoption_mommy September 11th, 2010 05:40 PM

Re: Step-parent adoption?
Good luck to yoU! I hope all goes well!

Kari_B September 12th, 2010 07:14 PM

Re: Step-parent adoption?
YAY! Good luck with everything!

.H.e.a.t.h.e.r. September 13th, 2010 11:03 PM

Re: Step-parent adoption?
I was scrolling down and found this. I am also on Van Isl (i'm in Vic) and my dh is adopting my dd who's bio dad hasn't been involved in her life since she was 6 weeks old (she's 5 years old now)
I'm just a PM away.

mommy2olliebeans September 20th, 2010 06:40 PM

Re: Step-parent adoption?
So I've dropped off everything necessary to the lawyer that he requested.... An address for the mother (we didnt' have one, so we gave her parent's address)... Jas's birth certificate, and a copy of the custody order....

Unfortunately, nothing is going to happen until October 4th because the lawyer failed to tell me that he was going on vacation! So anyway, his secretary is drafting up the consent letter and that will be the first thing done.

Kari_B September 21st, 2010 05:02 PM

Re: Step-parent adoption?
October will be here before you know it!

YakimaAdoption July 2nd, 2011 09:53 AM

Re: Step-parent adoption?
We are in Washington State (Yakima county) and completed a step-parent adoption (of two daughters) ourselves. Here was what we did:
1) Went to the website: Do It Yourself Documents dot com (This board wouldn't let me post the link)
We filled out the document on-line and paid $148.50. We were contacted via email by them, and set up an appointment the following week to meet the notary in Seattle, who would notarize the documents, so we could file them in court. We had the natural father meet us there, and he signed right there and the notary took care of his paperwork too.
2) We contacted a social worker to set up the home study. You only need one home study, and it must be conducted before the step-parent adoption. The judge will need the social worker's report before he will approve the adoption. Our Social Worker charged us $500 for the home study. Note: Some social workers we contacted wanted $800 for this service. Also, it's important to meet with your potential social worker, to make sure you like them. We met with one, and I had a very bad feeling about her, so we didn't use her. Our Social Worker provided us a list of questions she would be asking, to prepare us and our daughters.
3) After the Social Worker meeting, we went to Yakima court, to the court clerk's office. We told the woman we were there to file a step-parent adoption ourselves. She asked us if we wanted a proxy (so that we wouldn't have to come to court at all!). We said yes! I think it cost us an extra $35. So our total fee was a couple of hundred dollars. This proxy is a very important thing to do. It means that when the court clerk receives the Social Worker's report, that the clerk will walk it over to the judge (usually the same day), and the judge signs the document. Our final adoption was signed ONE DAY after the clerk received the Social Worker's report, and when it was done, the clerk called us and told us to come in to pick up the paperwork.
4) Pick up the paperwork from the court clerk. We had five certified copies made (by the clerk) of the final adoption papers. We did this because in 30 days, those legal documents will be sealed forever. Also, we had to write checks to have new birth certificates made for our two girls. The clerk takes these checks, and mails them to the state where the girls were born themselves. (I think the cost was $22 for each daughter.) The clerk will hold the birth certificate forms for 30 days, then mail them to the state where they were born. Why? Because after the adoption is final, they must wait 30 days for someone to contest the adoption. After 30 days passes, the adoption is forevermore legal.

So it cost us about $700 total for the step-parent adoption of our two daughters. Compared to the $6,000 we were quoted by several lawyers, this was remarkable. The process was EASY!

I hope this helps any of you who are considering this option!

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