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-   -   New here... advice please! :) (https://www.justmommies.com/forums/f84-adoption/2163728-new-here-advice-please.html)

.:Shortcake:. November 17th, 2010 11:57 AM

New here... advice please! :)
We were contacted by a mutual friend that's sister is pregnant and can't afford to keep the baby. She wants to give the baby to a family that she knows and have an open adoption but sign over legal guardianship without lawyers involved. Is this possible? I do not want to get my hopes up but she is due December 15th and we need to get things going. Any help would be much appreciated.

SarahBethsMommy November 17th, 2010 12:24 PM

Re: New here... advice please! :)
I wouldn't do anything without lawyers involved personally. It just isn't safe for anyone. But you can have a very open adoption and it is rather painless with an adoption lawyer. I wish you all the best! Keep us posted!!

.:Shortcake:. November 17th, 2010 12:55 PM

Re: New here... advice please! :)
Thanks for the advice! Do you have any idea how much it cost for the lawyer? I just got the price of $1,200 for the home study.

Kari_B November 17th, 2010 05:05 PM

Re: New here... advice please! :)
:ditto: I wouldn't move forward with anything until you talk with a lawyer. WHen we were first looking into adoption, it would have cost around $8,000 total from start to finish with a firm.

$1,200 is pretty typical for a home study. You can talk with your county about trying to get one through them, might be cheaper.

Good luck!

.:Shortcake:. November 17th, 2010 05:21 PM

Re: New here... advice please! :)
Ugh! I have no clue what we are going to do. She doesn't want lawyers involved at all. I talked to her on the phone for 2 hours today and I called an adoption agency... they way she wants to do it I will have legal guardianship but she could at any time take the baby... and there is no way that I could handle that. So unless she changes her mind it's probably not going to happen. DH and I have lost enough children and I couldn't do it again. :(

SarahBethsMommy November 18th, 2010 10:59 AM

Re: New here... advice please! :)
Yeah, guardianship is good for family members who want to help, but not for a couple wanting a forever child. I'm sorry this doesn't look like he or she will be your forever child, but take heart... your child will find you.

Has adoption been on your minds at all before this?

.:Shortcake:. November 18th, 2010 11:01 AM

Re: New here... advice please! :)
I have mentioned it to DH before but he always kind of shrugged it off. But this time he was on board. I talked to him last night and I think we are going to save up money for a year and then start the whole process. :)

SarahBethsMommy November 18th, 2010 11:09 AM

Re: New here... advice please! :)
Congratulations! That's a big step! I hope you can save up the money you want soon and start the process. :) It's a wonderful journey.

.:Shortcake:. November 18th, 2010 11:17 AM

Re: New here... advice please! :)
Thank you :) We are very excited but we want to save up some money for the home study as well as the lawyer so that we don't have to get the loan for it. We should have the money together in a year (or less) so until then I'm going to try to get my hands on as much information as I can.

Zoostergirl November 19th, 2010 02:35 PM

Re: New here... advice please! :)
GL on your adoption journey! Glad this experience helped get your hubby on board. :)

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