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-   -   On Life As a New, First-Time Mommy by Adoption (https://www.justmommies.com/forums/f84-adoption/2344855-life-new-first-time-mommy-adoption.html)

marienbrian June 7th, 2011 09:35 AM

On Life As a New, First-Time Mommy by Adoption
We finalize in October, on the 6th :) Adam came to live with us on March 25th, a mere 5 months after we first met him. Oh how the days have changed! Now that the honeymoon period is just about over I'm finally getting some Marie time back to use my computer. My little guy is going to be SEVEN this month and we're planning his first ever birthday celebration! It's going to be BIG! Adam is severely autistic, ADHD, with mild to moderate mental retardation and multiple behavior issues...or so we were told.

Since moving in with us, he has learned manners (being in public, how to behave in the car, manners while eating). He had never been to a store or restuarant before we took him. At first he was a little anxious but now he LOVES to go. Something social workers said he would NEVER do in his lifetime. He's also learned some sign language (he's completely non-verbal) within the first few weeks he was picking up signs with ease. Today, he's starting to babble and trying to make words! We've heard mama and bye bye. While not consistently, we still know he can say them!!! That was something else the social workers told us he'd probably never do.

Adam can now button and unbutton, zip and unzip his pants (potty training will be starting soon). He has went to his first county fair and on his first trip to the local public swimming pool and LOVED IT. He's imitating and watching everything we do and has surpassed many of the things we were told he might not do until he is a lot older or may never do at all. Miracles can happen!

He was also described by psychiatrists, social workers, and foster homes to not be social or affectionate and not liking other kids. Today, he plays with his cousins, has his own friends, and willingly gives hugs and kisses frequently. I feel so blessed to be his mommy!

So please, if you're considering foster care adoption take a look at these "difficult" special needs children and do not just go by the bios...ask to meet these kids, because those bios don't always do kids justice and there are some great kids put aside as "too difficult" or "unadoptable"!!!

tawny63 June 7th, 2011 03:21 PM

Re: On Life As a New, First-Time Mommy by Adoption
Awwwww. You make me remember being a para-educator for two boys (brothers) with severe non-verbal autism. They were very affectionate too. Jenny McCarthy has written a couple books that helped give me insight to their view of the world and I really enjoyed it. Not for the faint of heart though. lol.

I'm very impressed with your progress!!! That just shows how neglected he was and how much love you show him. He sounds like the beginning of an amazing success story! Are there any autism programs near you? There is tons of support for kids and families. Keep us posted :)

Just_Marie June 7th, 2011 09:44 PM

Re: On Life As a New, First-Time Mommy by Adoption
awww, what an amazing update! What a lucky little boy he is to have found you:)

SarahBethsMommy June 8th, 2011 03:27 PM

Re: On Life As a New, First-Time Mommy by Adoption
What a WONDERFUL story! I have thought so so much of you guys. Thank you for coming to let us know how it is all going. I love the moments when my son does things that people told us he'd never do. And YAY for hearing "mama"!!! That's got to be the sweetest sound in the whole world! Can he sign "mama"? I just love it when my son does that sign. It melts my heart every single time.

Adam and my Lil Buddy sound so very similar. Perhaps one day they can meet. :) Congratulations on your beautiful family!!

marienbrian June 8th, 2011 06:11 PM

Re: On Life As a New, First-Time Mommy by Adoption
Thanks everyone! I'm so proud of the accomplishments he's made. It's a long way from walking naked down the streets of Cincinnati starving that's for sure. We have already decided that we want to adopt more special needs kiddos :) I have always dreamed of having kids of my own and when faced with the reality of not physically being able to it nearly destroyed me. For 3 years of my life I was in the worst depression. All of my friends were having babies. I got to the point where I couldn't even talk to my friends or look a pictures of their kids. I felt like a terrible person. I was jealous and angry at God. And one day, it hit me. I prayed for him to forgive my anger and jealousy and just waited patiently...6 months later we got our certification after 2 years of waiting and backlogging and 4 weeks later we found our son and I couldn't be happier!

mamma_anna June 9th, 2011 11:08 AM

Re: On Life As a New, First-Time Mommy by Adoption
Thank you so much for sharing this amazing update!:) I'm so happy to hear he's doing so well! Giving hugs and saying "mamma".....That's just awesome! Reading this almost brought me to tears.

We were also told many things about our little one that turned out not to be true. They said she had major cognitive impairments and would likely never be on the same academic level with her peers. Well, at 5 years old she's reading at a 1st/2nd grade level already and starting a regular kindergarten in August. Of course I think she's brilliant!:D We were told she would probably never walk on her own and would need a wheelchair for the rest of her life. She's hardly used her wheelchair at all in 2 months!
Isn't it nice to poove them all wrong?:p

You're right....Miracles do happen! God really does make all things turn out for good when we turn to Him!

Praying for continued blessings for you and Adam.

marienbrian September 28th, 2011 01:57 PM

Re: On Life As a New, First-Time Mommy by Adoption
Update: First of all, forgive the spelling if there are errors I didn't catch...our keyboard has gone spastic...We finalize Oct. 6 :)

AlexKatieAiden Mommy October 3rd, 2011 01:54 PM

Re: On Life As a New, First-Time Mommy by Adoption
Sorry, don't know how I missed this but I did.
Thank you for sharing your story. It's truly wonderful that he has made so much progress in the time he has been with you. It goes to show what a stable, loving home can do for a child. And how much of an effect neglect plays. I have a 6 year old biological child with autism (though he is high functioning) so if you ever need to vent, ask questions, etc feel free to pm me.
Also wanted to add that if you wanted to you could check out the Children with Developmental Delays and Disorders. There are many moms of children with autism in there.

marienbrian October 12th, 2011 06:55 PM

Re: On Life As a New, First-Time Mommy by Adoption
Autism is such a broad disorder, it's always interesting tofind and talk to other autism mommies :)

olewis8 October 13th, 2011 11:45 PM

Re: On Life As a New, First-Time Mommy by Adoption
Thanks for sharing such a wonderful story. Itís great to hear that he has made some improvement; it wonít be long before he progresses ahead of this. I have seen kids improving at a faster rate with time.

canary12 October 14th, 2011 03:28 PM

Re: On Life As a New, First-Time Mommy by Adoption
Congratulations on your new son! Thank you for your huge heart to take in this precious boy...he's obviously already thriving in your family! Blessings on you as you raise Adam...and maybe more kiddos in the future, too!

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