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alittlelost March 18th, 2013 08:42 AM

Make Up for Kids
At what age would you allow your daughter to start wearing make up?


My husband and I never really discussed this, though I definitely didn't want my daughter doing the whole make up thing young (can't say what age I wouldn't mind her starting, but age 6 isn't it!). I don't wear make up often so thankfully my daughter hasn't shown interest--though she does love nail polish and wears it every few months (not my doing).

Recently, however, I've noticed other girls her age showing an interest. Then my friend took her to church the other day and she was so well behaved that the class instructor commented on it to my friend (that my daughter was listening even when no one else was, which is the norm for her, despite my complaints of her emotional outburst at other times lol). So my friend took her to Toys R Us and bought her make up--differently lip glosses with sparkles and a pink lipstick that looks like nothing on).

My husband was mildly upset. He said to me, "Isn't that something someone should ask the parent before buying for a child?" And I agree with him. My friend should have asked. Neither of us see it as a big deal, though. I did ask my daughter who picked it out and she said my friend did. She probably suggested it and my daughter thought it seemed like a good idea. She was very happy with her prize. We didn't take it away from her, because it's not a HUGE deal and I wasn't going to upset her over lip gloss, but I have to say I hope this isn't the start of a pattern. I'm not anti make up, I just want my daughter to realize she doesn't need it.

Anyway, I told her the lip gloss was fun and helped her put it on, and also told her that she is beautiful, even MORE SO without make up. I also told her the secret to make up is wearing so little that no one can tell you have any on and that her skin will stay really pretty the more she doesn't wear make up.

I wouldn't say this is a huge deal to me, but I do care a little. I'm not sure it's worth setting any limits over though. At least for now, I'm going to keep discussing it with my husband and we'll see where it goes. If we don't make a big deal, there's a good chance that in a few days she'll be bored with the lip gloss (she's already rapidly loosing interest) and that will be the end of it. But if she starts wanting to wear eye shadow and blush, I might need to figure something else out, even if it's only that she only gets to wear it once a week and only at home or something.

Oh, we also talked (later) about how it's more important to be beautiful on the inside. I didn't talk to her about make up at this time, just about how she is a very beautiful girl but being beautiful on the inside is the most important. Then I asked if she was beautiful on the inside and she said yes and I said "You bet" and tickled her. Then we disco danced. :)

What are your thoughts for Make Up for Kids? Are you okay with it at any age? Do you have any hard or soft limits where this is concerned? How would you handle someone else buying make up for your daughter?

NinjaCakes March 18th, 2013 07:02 PM

Re: Make Up for Kids
I won't get started on what I think of make up for kids, because then I'll be typing all night. Long story short, I don't like it. I don't subscribe to the 'women aren't beautiful unless they wear makeup' culture. It's disgusting. As far as age, I don't think there's an age so much as a general maturity level that I'd be looking for. Exposure to those things for the wrong reasons or at the wrong times could cause all sorts of issues.

I would probably go bananas on anyone who did that without asking me. The same goes for things like ear piercing. Most people who know me know exactly how I feel about that kind of thing, so hopefully they won't step over that line.

alittlelost March 18th, 2013 08:06 PM

Re: Make Up for Kids
Yeah, we never told our friend how we feel about this, or I might have been angrier. As it stands, I wasn't happy about it :/ I thought at the very least she should have asked. Thankfully it was mostly just lip gloss, but now I'm in this situation of having to "address" the make up issue with my daughter without making a big deal out of it. Not really so easy to do.

crunchywannabe March 18th, 2013 08:11 PM

Re: Make Up for Kids
I look at make up and children as part of dress up or pretend play... if I had a little girl and she wanted to play with make up at home, I wouldn't have a problem with it (given that it wasn't too visible) , to me it's pretend, and just like wearing costumes. But I would not be ok with my child taking it to school or out of the house. I would hold on to it until requested during 'costume play' with young kids.

I don't know if there is a magical age, it would depend on the kid, and their interest/maturity, maybe around 11 or 12 I would like to sit down with my daughter and teach her how to apply makeup properly and age appropriately, along with healthy skin care tips etc etc. My mom never really did this with me, and I was a 'self taught' make up artist... The teenage years are really the only time it's 'acceptable' to play with makeup through trial and error, but I never really did this and I still feel self conscious when applying my makeup. Although I do like wearing it.

If I had a daughter not interested in makeup, that would be fine, I would still want to sit and do the skin care lesson though. I think it's part of the transition into 'womanhood'... something special to do as she gets older.

klockert March 18th, 2013 10:03 PM

Re: Make Up for Kids
I give Gabby my old make up brushes to play with already, but she doesn't really know what they are for. I have a 4 year old niece who loves to play dress up and she does get to wear some of that makeup for kids that barely shows up. She also likes to wear perfume and deodorant. I really don't think it is that big of a deal as long as you explain to them that they don't NEED it to be beautiful. As far as what age I would allow Gabby to start actually wearing real make up, it's hard to say. Like someone else said before me it depends on how mature she is.

Social Halfwit March 19th, 2013 07:52 AM

Re: Make Up for Kids
I don't really like make up much, but I understand that it can be a creative outlet much like dying hair, etc. My theory on anything like that is that they are free to do it once 1. They can pay for it (or most of it), and 2. They are old enough to take care of it. It's how I feel about tattoos, piercings, hair dye, anything. I guess with makeup that would look like: they are buying it, they are putting it away, putting it on correctly, washing it off every night, things like that. So I won't really be allowing any of that while my kids are under 10ish, except for some flavored chapsticks or costume makeup.

Plus any makeup purchased will include a free discussion with Mom on media standards of beauty and realistic beauty. :)

Social Halfwit March 19th, 2013 07:52 AM

Re: Make Up for Kids

ohnicole March 19th, 2013 11:38 AM

Re: Make Up for Kids
I think that kids using make up in pretend play is fine. Makeup is a part of adult life that our kids will see, and I think it's normal to want to play at using it, just like they may want to play at being a princess or a dog or a firefighter. I don't think I would introduce it to them, but when they ask, I will let them use children's make up when they play dress up. Like most of you, I think that before they can wear make up on a daily basis, they need to be mature enough to understand a healthy basis for self respect and self worth and be responsible enough to care for their skin and their belongings properly.

I think there are a lot of ways that we let kids grow up too fast now (cell phones and technology overload are a couple of the ones that really bug me), and I honestly don't see a reason why a child would need to wear more than lip gloss before high school. But unfortunately we have to live in the world :lol: so I try to keep a bit of an open mind until we get to the point of making that decision.

navywifey2003 March 20th, 2013 12:58 AM

Re: Make Up for Kids
Since Katelynn has had dance recitals she wears makeup there. Usually light mascara, a brown eye shadow and a red lip stick was the last list. When we were done with the eye shadow we added it to her dress up stuff. Today she was a zombie. She had dark purple make up all over her face and put on a bat man cape with her clothes. I see no problem with it for pretend play. Katelynn will ask does this look beautiful and I will say of course but you are beautiful no matter what. I started wearing make up in 7th grade. Other than pretend play she will likely be the same age unless its for dance recitals or maybe a father/daughter dance. Special occasions.

alittlelost March 20th, 2013 06:54 AM

Re: Make Up for Kids
This is something I've been concerned about. She has a dance recital coming up and I am hoping they aren't going to make all the girl's wear make up. I respect some people are okay with it for special occasions or just for fun, but I don't feel comfortable with it and my husband doesn't think it's appropriate. She's 6--she's still a kid! I think she can do dress up and pretend play without putting real make up on her face and I would not be comfortable if her dance recital REQUIRED the make up. i need to talk to them about that. Also, I still think my friend should have asked, because not everyone thinks it's appropriate for a young kid to wear make up.

sareymac March 20th, 2013 07:54 AM

Re: Make Up for Kids
I think for pretending its ok my mom let us and we never got like hooked we knew it was only for play. My dad was a single dad by the time i wanted to wear make up. he didnt let me til i was like 15.

Fluga March 20th, 2013 03:09 PM

Re: Make Up for Kids
Suppose this may be cultural, I dont see anyone wanting to put make up on a 6 year old in here. I think I wont decide on the make up issue until it presents itself. Then I'll talk with my girl to find out what she thinks of it and possibly spouse too.

IronMamma March 20th, 2013 04:35 PM

Re: Make Up for Kids
Hmm, this is a hard one. I do not have a girl BUT if I did I would say like 16ish...? I do not wear make up so I would imagine she would not be interested in it until later? I have no idea. I really do not like make up.

MommyofAngels1985 March 22nd, 2013 12:43 AM

Re: Make Up for Kids
My husband and I have two girls, 2 years and 6 months. We discussed all this stuff before the first one was born. The make up issue was, no makeup until they are 16 and that is the same with dating and having a cell phone. Those are some issues that will non negotiable and that we think are very reasonable.

Now it's different if our two year old got into my mom's purse and put on her lipstick for play, (I don't wear makeup so it wouldn't be in my purse) that would be a photo moment since it would probably be all over her face and clothes hehe.

i:heart:you March 22nd, 2013 04:35 PM

Re: Make Up for Kids
I have a 9 year old who likes to play with make up, she is only allowed to wear it at home. I don't really have an issue with her experimenting with it. I always tell her how beautiful she is with out make up, but she likes to play with so I let it be, as long as she washes it off before bed and doesn't wear it to school. I never thought of how I would feel if someone bought it for her, but I can see where you are coming from on being upset. Totally different subject here but dd wanted a cell phone, dh and I agreed no phone until she is 14 and can take care of it. Well my MIL clearly knew no phone, and what does she do??? Buys her a phone for her 9th birthday, it really ticked dh off, since we were so adamant about no phone, we told my parents no and her no before as well, she did it anyway. That burned my bum...

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