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-   -   Naming with Gender Disappointment? (https://www.justmommies.com/forums/f81-baby-names/2656009-naming-gender-disappointment.html)

sealover June 4th, 2013 01:53 PM

Naming with Gender Disappointment?
I'm 31.5 weeks pregnant with a boy. I have two daughters. As pathetic as I'm sure it sounds, I was really upset when I found out it was a boy. I realize that I'll get over it at some point, but I'm not yet.

The issue is that my OB has informed me that I will likely be having the baby early, so at most, I have about 5-6 weeks to come up with a name.

I currently have not found even one boy name I like. Most people just tell me I'll see him and know, but I won't. I didn't have that experience with the girls. I took a list of about 5-10 names to the hospital each time with the girls and named them about 2-3 days after birth. So, I am under no delusions that I'll see him and just "boom" he'll have a name.

I don't know if it's because of the gender disappointment or if I'm just looking at the wrong places, but I just cannot find any names I like. I've bought two baby name books and been stalking Nameberry for three months.

ANy thoughts on how to get over this hump? Otherwise, I honestly think I"ll leave the hospital with an unnamed baby, which I realize I *Can* do but I've read it's a pain in the butt as far as SS paperwork is concerned.

momology June 4th, 2013 01:57 PM

Re: Naming with Gender Disappointment?
What are your girls names? That could help give us an idea of your name style.

sealover June 4th, 2013 02:03 PM

Re: Naming with Gender Disappointment?
Gretchen and Cordelia. If it was a girl this time, I'd have chosen Georgia or Emmeline.

But I've been through multiple books and whatnot. Nothing appeals to me.

momology June 4th, 2013 02:22 PM

Re: Naming with Gender Disappointment?
I am sure you have seen all of these if you have read through books but I like these with your sibset:

William "Liam"
Cassius "Cash"

I have a really hard time with boys names as well. Do you have any you like but wouldn't use? Maybe that could point us in another direction.

sealover June 4th, 2013 02:27 PM

Re: Naming with Gender Disappointment?
Not really. I think Henry is okay, but it's way too popular. My name was the most popular name for several years surrounding when I was born, so I detest trends.

Boy names and boy baby items have been rough for me. It's just not a fun experience and I hate that it's not.

momology June 4th, 2013 03:55 PM

Re: Naming with Gender Disappointment?
Hmm that is tough. . . So not a super popular name. . . (I have the same problem with my name so I feel the same way!!)

What about Rhys (or Reece)

Other ideas:


Getting anywhere? Do you have any middle name ideas? I felt the same way when looking for a boys name it is so tough!

sealover June 4th, 2013 04:59 PM

Re: Naming with Gender Disappointment?
No, I haven't even started on a middle name. I figured there was no point without a first name. There's nothing wrong with any of the names, it's just that none of them make me think "I could live with that".. you know?

Naming the girls wasn't easy for me, but I had a list of about 10 names narrowed down by this point with them (first/middle name combos) and I think I took about 7 of those to the hospital with my first and four with my second. But at least I had ideas.

I was convinced this one was a girl and was so excited I'd finally get to do all the cute monogramming and personalizing of the room this time because I settled on Emmeline and Georgia in about two seconds. :/

Momtothe6thpower June 4th, 2013 05:52 PM

Re: Naming with Gender Disappointment?
I'm sorry your not enjoying your experience! Emmeline and Georgia are nice but there's some many wonderful boy names out there and still time for monogramming! :)

My very first thought with Gretchen and Cordelia was Silas!

Other ideas...

mrsjl June 5th, 2013 05:43 AM

Re: Naming with Gender Disappointment?
I think Beau would fit in perfectly, it was the first name that popped into my head when I saw Gretchen and Cordelia! it's not too trendy or popular either.

I want to add that I had a super hard time settling on a name for my new baby. I was unsure right up to the end, and that was weird for me because my other two were named before I even got pregnant. when #3 was born, we just picked a name that we knew was a nice name and it had family ties, and hoped he would grow into it. I'm really glad we went with it, it is starting to sounds less foreign to me now.

sealover June 5th, 2013 06:56 AM

Re: Naming with Gender Disappointment?
I couldn't do the whole "name and hope he grows into it" type of thing. I'd just not choose a name. It's just how I am. I'd be afraid if I picked a name that I hoped he'd grow into, that I'd just hate it every day for the rest of my life. I did find out that in my state, you don't have to name the baby at the hospital, it's just apparently a bigger ordeal with the social security office if you don't at the hospital?

I don't hate every name.. but none make me think I could learn to love them or even really really like them. It seems to me like surname-type names and word names that people recommend are very trendy. Biblical names are off the table completely, as I'm not Christian, so I think it's a little bizarre. So, I mean, I guess I do narrow the field a bit with knowing some absolute no's. Classic names are too popular for me, since my name is extremely popular, I'm very sensitive to popularity and trendiness. I know I'd never choose a name in the top 500. I think my girls' names were over 800 when I chose them.

Maybe I shouldn't even worry about it and just accept that he won't be named for awhile. I hate to do that, but I'm not sure what else to do.

Pixie Dust June 5th, 2013 10:23 AM

Re: Naming with Gender Disappointment?
Sealover.... I sooo understand about the gender disappointment. I was soooo sad when I found out I was having a boy. (already have 1 girl and 1 boy) I cried like a big baby one day at a clothes store because of all the cute little girl stuff (and he was like 3 months old then). Honestly I still wish he was a girl but I do love him with all my heart and he is such a sweet little man!

I also agree on the name not just suddenly appearing while you are at the hospital. We went to the hospital with 4 names and sat there for 3 days calling him baby. I LOVE his name now and it is so fitting.

No name suggestions.... just wanted to let you know that you are not alone.


My2miracles June 5th, 2013 11:28 AM

Re: Naming with Gender Disappointment?
Since you were thinking Georgia what about George?

Or Emmet for Emmeline?

sealover June 5th, 2013 12:24 PM

Re: Naming with Gender Disappointment?
Oddly, not a fan of George (too common) or Emmett (common last name where I grew up.)

PIxie Dust -- thank you. I realize it's kind of petty and whatnot, but I'm just so upset about it. I don't find boy names appealing, I don't find boy baby clothes cute... it's just a big mess. I've read a lot of things saying that the gender disappointment fades when the baby arrives, but by then I'll have a nameless baby with an empty nursery. I just don't know how to get around it to do what needs to be done.

SallyS June 5th, 2013 12:44 PM

Re: Naming with Gender Disappointment?
You will probably be happy when the baby comes. Since you already have 2 girls, raising a boy will be different and fun.

momology June 5th, 2013 01:39 PM

Re: Naming with Gender Disappointment?
Sorry you are having such a hard time :hug:

Thought I would take one more try at it:


gustka48 June 5th, 2013 02:50 PM

Re: Naming with Gender Disappointment?
I'm sorry that you are feeling this way. I doubt there is anything that I can say that will make you feel better, but I'll give a stab at a few names.

Samuel (Sam)

KellBell2621 June 5th, 2013 04:43 PM

Re: Naming with Gender Disappointment?
i have no suggestions as to actual names but maybe making up your own name? or changing the letters in a somewhat common name to make it more unique? just a thought :) good luck on your search!

sealover June 5th, 2013 05:48 PM

Re: Naming with Gender Disappointment?
Thanks for your kind words and suggestions. I haven't seen any names that really speak to me, but I appreciate everyone's help. I think maybe I just am not able to do this.

Jessimaaka June 5th, 2013 06:36 PM

Re: Naming with Gender Disappointment?
Sorry you are feeling this way. Thought I'd throw some out there.

Quentin (or Quinn? gender neutral)
Simon (love Si as a nn!)

Good luck with your search! I hope you find something you like.

Quantum_Leap June 6th, 2013 10:59 PM

Re: Naming with Gender Disappointment?
It seems to me like the issue is not so much with the name as with the overall gender disappointment. The no-name issue is just a symptom of the larger issue. By saying "I can't do this," "he's not going to have a name," etc., it's kind of like you're trying to stay detached from the baby, kwim? I totally get it, btw. I'm also four months pregnant and haven't yet found out the gender, but I'm pretty convinced that I'm having a third boy, and if so I'm not enthusiastic about any of the available name choices. But at some point you just have to plow forward and make a decision.

My suggestion would be to put aside the name issue for a while and focus on bonding with your baby in other ways. I know baby boy clothes aren't nearly as cute as girl clothes, but there are still some very adorable things out there. Maybe go on Etsy or something and buy the most ridiculously adorable boy outfits you can find. Treat yourself (and your baby) to something really fun and indulgent, and try to envision how exciting it will be when he actually gets here. (And how much fun it will be for your two girls to have a baby brother!) The name will come in time, but you don't need to stress out focusing on it right now.

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