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-   -   Hope I did the right thing... (https://www.justmommies.com/forums/f440-birth-moms/1736458-hope-i-did-right-thing.html)

Albertachick October 13th, 2009 08:30 AM

Hope I did the right thing...
My birth daughter is 17 and the adoption was very much an open one.

My birth daughter is on my facebook and we talk often. Last night I got an email from her...

When I was pregnant with her I wrote a diary and gave to her MOM to give to her, when she was older and felt the time was right...

Well apparetnly she found this Diary before her mom gave it to her.
She asked me about it (or if I even remeber it) and if there was anything else that I may have written or given to her that her MOM is with-holding...

Wow talk about putting me in a spot,,, because I have sent her cards and presents over the years
know I have no idea if MOM has given them to her or not. I would assume that she did, but don't want to rock the boat (so to speak) My birth daughter knows all about me, her siblings
(as I have 3 more children).

So I emailed her back and told her that I absolutely remember the Diary book, and I was sure her MOM was not with-holding anything from her and that she was most likely going to give it to her when she was 18. I asked her if she talked to her MOM about it and if she hadn't then I strongly suggest that she did. I then told her that her MOM loves her very much.

Now the fact that she has held on to this Diary all these years, tells me that she is not with-holding it. After all if she had no intentions of giving it to her she would never have held on to it for all this time.

BoobyDutyAgainJen October 14th, 2009 09:35 AM

Re: Hope I did the right thing...
Oh wow! Yeah that is such a precarious situation. I think you handled it exactly how I would have and I definitely think your right about her mom's intentions. I hope this plays out well with no hard feelings. It seems to me like it has potential for them but I really hope not.

Keep us posted!

Albertachick October 14th, 2009 10:23 AM

Re: Hope I did the right thing...

She emailed me again last night and she did talk to her Mom, such a relief.
Her mom wasn't sure if their was anything in it that would upset her, so she was waiting. My birthdaughter read the Diary and understands things so much better. She also said that she always thought of me as a big part of her life, even if I wasn't around. (Am I dreaming..... had to pinch myself)

She also said that she would like to see me and my kids (her siblings), if I wanted.. I told her of course, that she was welcome here anytime and so was her friends and family. It will be really nice to see her Mom again after so long. I think the last time I saw them my birth daughter was 6 or 7 years old.

I'm expecting anything soon, I'm still in shock that the day I have been waiting for, for so long has finally came!

BoobyDutyAgainJen October 14th, 2009 12:23 PM

Re: Hope I did the right thing...
Awww I seriously am teared up from reading this! I am thrilled that things are working out so nicely! I am sure it is such a relief to know that you will see her and her family again.

J_n_JsMommy November 2nd, 2009 04:06 PM

Re: Hope I did the right thing...
I was just lurking and wanted to send big hugs :) As an adopted child I can tell you that my birthmom was also a big part of my life even though my adoption was CLOSED and i had no contact with her until I was 16. :) I'm so happy that this diary you kept has opened even more lines of communication for the two of you! And so exciting that she might get to meet her siblings! And what a special gift for your birthdaughter that you kept that journal :)

Albertachick November 5th, 2009 11:10 AM

Re: Hope I did the right thing...
So the BIG reunion day is Sat Nov 7, I can not wait,lol.

I talked to her Mom and she is so happy for us.
I also found out some info that is upsetting. I found out that my Mom has been in contact with them as recently as two years ago AND was given pictures to give me of my birthdaughter, but guess what I was NEVER was given any pictures from my mom, let alone did I know she was seeing my birthdaughter, she never said a thing to me. My children has also meet her.
I am really upset with my mom and the kicker thing is, My mom is on Vacation in Africa til the end of the month, so I cna't even talk to her about it.

But regardless I am so ecited!

BoobyDutyAgainJen November 5th, 2009 07:56 PM

Re: Hope I did the right thing...
That is really not okay of your mom to do that. It is one thing to have known contact and be able to share info with each other. It is quite another to be deceptive about it. I hope you two can work things out about it.

I hope everything goes well!! Please let us know how it all goes!

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