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-   -   My aunts (https://www.justmommies.com/forums/f65-blended-families/1343425-my-aunts.html)

Ellemphriem December 8th, 2008 12:46 AM

Are STILL trying to intervene to how we handle the blended family issue. And i still hate to say that someone with NO children should shut the f^^^k up about what and how something should be done. We haven't had DSD in our house for 3 consequetive weekends because i had a very dangerous emergency c-sec that could have taken both me and DD's life, second because we are NEW parents and have no clue how to handle a newborn and it's needs, thirdly because we have NO help since my parents are dead and DH's parents are disabled and FINALLY and most importantly because DSD is a 9 year old schoolgirl coming and going out of schools filled with illnesses and other sick children and DD is a poor 1 month old with NO defense against illness at all. So we decided to give this at least a month and a half to get her to come over. We talked to her and she understands, her dad picks her up and goes with her to his parents house and stays over as much as he can. Then he comes over to help me. So yesterday i called my cousin and she says 'Don't keep this thing with DSD too much ok?' and i am like ***??? First how did she know? I never talk to her unless occasion arises, which means my aunt next door (i talk and see her) spoke of this to the whole family without my presence. OR my husband's presence for that matter. And that man pisses me off. My husband is pissed off also. First of all my aunt of next door has no kids knows not how tired we are right now and gives us or 'offered' to give us no help. She only came once and her nervous appointment even made the LO nervous for she cried almost all the time and she was fussy. And THEN my cousin offers her own advice without being asked. One who has parents to care for her children and always had an in house sleep over nanny for them since day one........
'You are gonna create psychological issues to your daughter' my aunt said to my husband.....and he said 'I KNOW my daughter and i talk to her constantly. I KNOW when or not she feels something and if she will tell me what's wrong'.....and my aunt still insisted 'no you are wrong and you know nothing and she will have issues'.....so how the hell does she know???? Maybe she should consider how unstable the other place is with a man (not married to her bio-mom simply co-living) roaming around the house, smoking in front of her and taking her on bike rides (SHE IS ONLY 9 FOR F***CK shake!)........and WE are the ones causing the issue? With 1 month absence due to difficult circumstances.......??????????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!

I am pissed......pissed as f****ing hell........

They should simply shut up and leave us alone to make our own bloopers with the newborn and with my DSD, with all the fussiness, sleeplessness, tired minds and bodies and foolishness..........WHY oh WHY don't i ever critise anyone please tell me ????

Blondzilla December 8th, 2008 06:10 AM

When it comes to child rearing, everyone has opinions on what to do or what not to do. The thing is, we all manage somehow to raise our kids on our own terms and they live through it! tell your aunt, although you';re sure she means well, that you'd really rather she keep her opinions to herself. That's all they are is opinions...not based on fact or experience and therefore about as valid as me telling you how to keep warm at the north pole. Don't be afraid to tell her to stay out of it! This is YOUR baby and YOUR step daughter! She is a bystander in your life who doesn't help and only hurts--no doubt due to her own feelings of inadequacy at never having had her own children. Don't let her take any of the fun out of being a new mommy! As far as not wanting your dsd to come by for the next month or so, that's up to you. If you're breastfeeding, your baby will pick up your immunities and as long as your dsd takes care to wash her hands well before touching the baby, she should be fine but that is YOUR call because that is YOUR baby! That's one of the nice things bout being a parent...you get to make the decisions and do not have to take anyone elses advice! Don't be afraid to tell anyone off if they're encroaching on your rights as a mother. If she wants to parent, tell her to get a child of her own! There are plenty of kids in need of adoptive or foster parents...

JustBecca December 8th, 2008 10:57 AM

I would be upset too!

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