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mom23 April 21st, 2006 10:13 PM

Honestly do you care who provides the kids insurance? My dh does not get insurance as of yet so i have all three kids on mine. My dh's ex has called and complained about this now we have to go to court and fight it. :angry2: I love the kids to death and would do anything for them so I am not sure why we are getting the drama. Can i get yals take on things.

appifanie April 22nd, 2006 07:29 AM

i'm a birth mom who's going to be a stepmom too . . .

in a sane, normal place, it wouldn't matter, so long as the kids are insured (that's very nice of you, btw!!). but some ex's are INSANE (my df's ex-wife is insane, so i can understand).

what exactly do you have to fight in court? i would imagine (hope) the judge will tell the ex she's nuts and should be grateful!

mom23 April 22nd, 2006 08:48 AM

I hope the judge is smart enough to call her nuts also. She wants a 300 dollar increase in cs and wants him to be the one with the insurance. We will see what happens tuesday. I just think it's a shame she waste so much energy on the small things.

We got an email today from my step daughter that she broke her collar tuesday why would the bm not call my dh would want to know when it happened. But that is how it works here.

Mom2DyJessAva April 22nd, 2006 10:32 AM

wow that lady is crazy!..she should be happy that her kids have insurance! and also thankful that you did that for them since the father doesnt have it at the moment..i give u alot of credit for doing that!...i wouldnt care as long as my child has insurance..my boyfriend doesnt wanna put our soon to be son on his (i dont work) because itll cost him more money but my son will have insurance because i have insurance i think its medicad so that lady should be happy that you were nice enough to do that for them!..i dont get her why does it matter who insurance the kids are on as long as they have it? shes insane!..i hope the judge realised that this lady has problems...

~Katie~ April 24th, 2006 10:13 AM

Wow...I have to give you props for stepping up...I am a birth mom and my dh has insurance on mine and my x does not mind. But, if he were married and the situation were different and his wife could have them on hers I would say yeah...so they had the insurance....it sounds like she is controlling and she wants the xtra money and not for insurance cause if she is single they are probably on the medical card...sounds like she may be jelous cause you can have them on yours and she can't.

LaLa April 24th, 2006 03:30 PM

Hi there, Im on both sides of the fence - a birht mom to one, and a step mom to the other.

I have had a lot of trouble with the insurance from my sons father, and quite frankly dont care WHO carries it as long as my son is covered.

And as a stepmother - I carry my step son on MY insurance. DH & I work for the same company, but when we got married it made it easier to do it this way for legal reasons.

Now - as for your hearing - how does the court order read? Most say that the father must provide insurance as long as it is reasonably available. ANd in most states, you can only request an increase so long as there is a substantial change of circumstances that would result in a certain % change in the CS. Usually you cant go back just becuase (every state is different though).

I would argue that since DH doesnt get insurance right now for whatever reason, that its not reasonably available to him through his employer, but he is providing it through his wife. After all - even though your income cant be used to compute CS, when it comes to insurance, household money is being used.

So... I would say he is providing insurance, its just being held in your name. lol.

On what grounds is she asking for an increase in CS?

BTW - my Hs sons mother had a problem with ME carrying the insurance initially, and when it was brought up in court, this same point was made and our judge told her the point was to provide the child with health coverage, not to play games.


dingledine May 1st, 2006 11:13 PM

Sounds like his ex wants to make things tough on your guy. Shame on her! My DH has my son (step for him) on his insurance and I think my ex is very grateful. He would have to pay a buttload to add Matthew, whereas with us, it is covered 100% for him. Yay for him.

Bad lady! :angry2: She needs her head analized.

Monica_marks May 2nd, 2006 10:16 AM

If it is in the final decree that he provide the health insurance, then he should be providing the health insurance; period. Further, I assume the ex has a lawyer that has done the math regarding the money difference owed on child support if he is not providing the health insurance.

Personally, I don't know if I would pursue such an issue, but it is certainly within her rights to do so. If it was so crazy, her lawyer would have told her not to bother with the Motion.

mom23 May 4th, 2006 09:10 PM

Nope she does not have a lawyer. She just goes to court every year because we live in NC and They are in TX. And my husband doesn't fight her the way he should. The court order says he should carry the insurance OUR LAWYER said it is fine for me to so long as the kids have insurance. We are getting the lawyer to fight it though because it is insane.

It is also in the court order that she contact us with any medical problems or such. We got an email from my sd that she had gotten hurt a week prior. It is stupid and childish for people to act like such ##### after divorces. It only hurts your children and makes life so much harder than it needs to be.

My opinion is this. We would ALL be lucky to have someone else love our kids it's much better than the step parents not liking them. If all parties could step back and take a look it only helps the kids and reduce one of the stresses of an already over stressed life.

appifanie May 5th, 2006 08:56 PM


It is stupid and childish for people to act like such ##### after divorces. It only hurts your children and makes life so much harder than it needs to be.

My opinion is this. We would ALL be lucky to have someone else love our kids it's much better than the step parents not liking them. If all parties could step back and take a look it only helps the kids and reduce one of the stresses of an already over stressed life.[/b]
exactly!!! now, go tell the crazies that. (i'll give you my df's ex's phone # . . . ; )

MorgaineNTannersMom May 17th, 2006 09:58 PM

When I got my C/S order the judge added that my daughters bio-father was to provide the ins. I however have medicaid bc I am permanently disabled so it didn't bother me that he never did bc my children are under my ins, not sure how I'd feel if I didn't have that though.

docsmomma May 18th, 2006 12:00 PM

I see no reason why she should be mad that your paying for your SD insurance. I mean, she's now medically covered. Msaybe she doesn't like the plan, but it is health insurance. Both me and my son's father have insurance for him. Our court order stipultates that BOTH of us must provide insurance if offered through our work. it's not offered through my work, but Istill got insurnace for him. I did it because I wanted to make sure that if past trends continued and he quits working in a month, my son was still covered. And when i did it I didn't expect him to break his arm a week after his father quit his job and let insurance lapse. If his father re-married and his wife wanted to add DS to her insurance i would see nothing wrong with it. Just as when my DH gets his benefits he's planning on putting DS on his insurnace (and then I'll stop the insurance I have). he doesn't have to but it shows that he really cares.

As for them not telling you when she is injured, we have the same problem. I've picked DS up from his father's and have found out that he spent the weekend sick. The last time I picked him up, he came home with brochitus. When confronted with it, his father told me "It's not my responsibility to tell you if he's sick. But when something happens when he's home with me, I always call them and say "by the way, I took Doc to the doctor and he has_______" or "We are at ________ hospital right now because Doc ____________ (insert problem here)"

GinaOfAllTrades May 22nd, 2006 04:31 PM

You are a very good SM first of all, to do that for your DSD.

I wouldn't mind at all if DS's stepmom had him on her insurance. Since TJ was born he has been on Medicaid and a few months back was taken off due to my income (I made too much at the time). I just got put on PT about 1 1/2 months ago so I can reapply for him.
I asked my XH if he had insurance and if so could he put TJ on his so that I don't have to put him back on Medicaid (my job doesn't provide insurance). Of course he didn't...he was working construction at the time and didn't even have any for himself. He actually had the nerve to ask if DF could put TJ on his insurance :o. DF checked on it before XH asked, and it would have costed $600 to add him to his. Which once we get married he will put TJ on his insurance, It won't cost as much cus the insurance company will consider TJ one of DF's dependants then.

Your bio mom is nuts like everyone else says. That is just down right petty of her to complain about that. She obviously has issues that she can't let go of, maybe jealousy of some sort who knows.

As forthe not telling you when DSD gets hurt. If my XH did that when TJ was with him I would be up at the lawyers office first thing to see what kind of recourse could be taken. That is DH's daughter, what if she was hurt worse than that, her dad should be there.

chelseamb May 22nd, 2006 04:51 PM

You know what... the ONLY good thing my SM did for me was put me under her health insurance but as soon as i moved out on my own she cut me. So whatever.. i think you guys should bring up the childrens welfare. If the children NEED the insurance and SHE cant cover it, then its better then nothing. You guys want to make sure they are fully covered..

Smashley May 22nd, 2006 05:19 PM

I would just like to say that I love how you feel about your DH's kids. I also think you are a very good women to have them on your insurance. I unfortunatly had the step mother from hell growing up so seeing this makes me smile! Gooodluck.

appifanie May 22nd, 2006 05:51 PM


When confronted with it, his father told me "It's not my responsibility to tell you if he's sick.[/b]
:o that's horrible! of course it is! duh!

mom23 May 22nd, 2006 10:40 PM

When I married dh I not only said vows to him but I also said vows to his children and gave them both rings also. They are part of him so matter what they are now a part of me. I do however have to admit my ss thinks I am the sm from hell. But that has a lot to do with everything he is told about me and his father. When he gets older I hope he will realize what his bm did to him. And we can be a family again. His sd is such a terrific kid that she realizes what her mom is saying is not true. She has even asked me if I like her mom. Wow how do you answer that one!! :blink: I told her I might not agree with everything her mom has done but since Katie would not be a part of my life without her mom I have to like her.

The BM is crazy but I can't say that maybe I wouldn't be to if someone else was becoming a important part of my childrens lives I can only hope I wouldn't hurt my child the way she has.

~*stephanie*~ May 23rd, 2006 01:07 PM

wow my x has to provide insurance for our boys, but if he couldn't I wouldn't care if his wife did. as long as they had it that's all i'd care about!!

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