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-   -   Tasteful or Tacky? Just surprised I guess (https://www.justmommies.com/forums/f65-blended-families/2141001-tasteful-tacky-just-surprised-i-guess.html)

Daisyfields October 25th, 2010 09:04 AM

Tasteful or Tacky? Just surprised I guess
I saw on FB, from a mutual friend of ours (mine & my ex), that my ex had put his condo up for sale.

I asked our DS if he was moving, or if there were boxes packed etc. he said no, he knew nothing about a move, or a potential move.

Now... when me & DH moved to our home, prior to moving here, we had looked at other homes. And when we put bids on another home, signed the P&S, I had told my ex, basically the whole time what was going on. Not because I had too, but b/c I felt that we had a child together, it would be nice to "share" this info out of being respectful.

When we finally bought this house (the other home had not worked out, the sellers had backed out & we never got the original home, which worked out for us actually), I had again, kept my ex & his wife, in the know. When we moved into this home, I gave them the grand tour, the whole nine. Everything, I made sure they saw where we were living, where our DS was going to be living.

Long story short, I got the NEWS of their move/sale on FB through "mutual" friends. I emailed my ex about it & didn't say much other than "would have been nice to know through them directly instead of through a networking site". They basically dismissed it. Like it wasn't a big deal. Well, to me it is, my son, who stays there 2 times a month, I want to know where that is. And if my ex is moving, I want to know WHERE he is moving too. I don't have an issue of them moving or buying a home that is larger to fit their needs of their expanding family, I understand that, but at the same time, to have that information be plastered on a networking site like FB prior to letting your family know, it's just a bit...well...tacky. I was offended & thought they would have at least said something before hand. I don't know.

There is something that's happened MAJOR medically recently (this past August) which caused me to "step-down" as host here on Blended Families, my DS' step-mother has been very kind & wanted all of us to sit down & discuss how we could all help one another & see what our rolls would be as my illness got worst. She made the comment of "we're a family, we're going to help each other". I guess I've always felt that & to have this "move" or "potential move" be given to me by someone other than themselves, just made it a bit weird.

Any ways. Just wanted to rant that out (end rant)... not really looking for an opinion or resolution on this. Felt the need to get it out. Maybe some of you have gone through something similar in the past or might in the future.

Rachel October 25th, 2010 10:28 AM

Re: Tasteful or Tacky? Just surprised I guess
My ex moved ALL.THE.TIME when my kids were younger. I rarely found out in advance, and it usually came from the kids. Annoying, I agree, but at least you know before they actually moved. :lol:

Daisyfields October 25th, 2010 10:30 AM

Re: Tasteful or Tacky? Just surprised I guess
I suppose it could have been worst, but I guess it just changed the dynamics of how I "thought" things were w/ us as a "blended family unit"... maybe I'm just seeing things through rose colored glasses.

Arachne October 25th, 2010 11:35 AM

Re: Tasteful or Tacky? Just surprised I guess
I think we're required to give 30 or 60 days notice before we move, and I think my husband's ex is required to do the same. We're planning on moving in a few months, and we gave her notice already.

My2miracles October 25th, 2010 11:44 AM

Re: Tasteful or Tacky? Just surprised I guess
That's rude! I just don't get it. But at least you did find out. More importantly you ds found out. It'll be an adjustment for him and he should have been more involved in the process IMO.

K.A.T October 25th, 2010 05:11 PM

Re: Tasteful or Tacky? Just surprised I guess
We're another set of parents that never found out until after. The only reason we knew she was buying a house was because DSD told us. I'll agree it is rude and it makes it seem like that whole conversation of being a family was just that, conversation and not sincerity. Good luck hopefully it will get easier.

schoolyearmama October 25th, 2010 05:59 PM

Re: Tasteful or Tacky? Just surprised I guess
We found out BM was moving out of state a week before she did. :rolleyes:

In our state you have to notify the courts of your new address.

Daisyfields October 26th, 2010 11:57 AM

Re: Tasteful or Tacky? Just surprised I guess
The thing about our legal documents, it doesn't say anything in there about notifying about moving, phone #'s or anything of that nature like my DH's does about his & his ex-wife's but I was never married to my ex, it's not the same & he doesn't have a visitation/custody order at all, it's strictly verbal. The only legal piece is that he has to pay me child support & half of the medical bills. The rest is nada. So I guess he doesn't owe me squat w/ his "move" but it would have been nice.

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