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-   -   Best way to handle this... (https://www.justmommies.com/forums/f65-blended-families/227968-best-way-to-handle.html)

Fallen2Love June 14th, 2006 06:25 AM

I don't know that this is neccesary the most "correct" place to post this, but figured I could get some insite here.

My parents divorced when I was a freshman in high school [now 5-6 years later]. My mom has been with the same guy since they split up. Currently, my mom and him live in puerto rico in a "common law" marriage. She considers him my "step dad", even though he is nothing of the such to me. I have some real problems with this guy, because his has an abusive history with my mom, and others, and he is otherwise not the most respectable person. Anyways, he considers himself "grandpa" to my child, as well as my mom. Which is something DH and I, don't agree with. If its up to us, our child will never be toumented by knowing him. So far i'm just humored it, and kinda of avioded the subject, but I can't aviod it forever. I just don't know the best way to address it with him and my mom. Or if its even worth it. For some reason, my mom loves this guy, and my mom and I finnally have somewhat of a relationship. And this guy has caused alot of problems over the years, because I do feel very strongly, that he does not have her best intentions in mind, not to mention the times he has phsyically hurt her, or otherwise hurt her. I don't want to ruin what little relationship I have with her, but by the same token, I DO NOT what him thinking he has the same role my dad holds or will hold in our child's life, if that makes sense.

My mom's parents were divorced, and her step-dad I call "grandpa", but her step-mom, I just call by her first name. And to my knowledge its never really been an issue.

I just don't know the best way to bring up the subject, without causing lots of problems. I don't consider him anything to me, nor his kids. And I know my mom will be offended, when the subject does come up, and it probably wont be a very nice conversation. I just don't know if its even worth it to bring up, since they live in puerto rico, and we rairly see them as-is.

Any advice, or suggestions?

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