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stresswife February 11th, 2013 05:39 PM

Phone calls
so DH has talked to the kids once in like two months because he last time he was home she wouldn't answer or said she was at work or the kids were asleep.. so this time while he was home he finally got to talk to them but she keeps the phone on speaker and he can't understand a single word they say.. (I mean how hard is it for her to turn the tv off and say here talk to your dad for a few minutes .. that's what we make them do when they're here..) anyway, so he tried calling them back again last night because the kids had tried calling like 5 times and left voicemails(his phone was on silent) but she texted back saying if he wanted to talk to them he should put some time on her phone...
now I know this is small, but once again.. the small stuff adds up. He told her no, that he was about to go to work and he would just text Ethan( he sometimes texts him on her phone)
I mean seriously, she has a freakin job(she's working as a cna again) and she makes good money because she travels and works weekends... she makes twice what cna's make where we live.. it's not like she's freakin broke..AND she still gets government assistance ... so now in addition to CS DH should have to pay her phone bill just to be able to talk to his kids?!
no freakin way..
she also tried to bring up DH getting Ethan a phone for his birthday, uhm he's gonna be 8.. he doesn't NEED a phone, we talked about gettin him one of those firefly phones where he can just call like 3 numbers, that way we know she can't use it or sell it, and we know if he had that DH would at least get to talk to them, but we aren't sure if he's responsible enough to not lose it.

pmdc5286 February 11th, 2013 06:19 PM

Re: Phone calls
I know how your feeling about getting your kids a phone. We finally broke down and got a shared phone for Dani and Robert. We have Verizon and they have an option that we put on their phone that they can only call their "Safe numbers". These are numbers that we designate as ok numbers for them to call or have call them. There are about 10 numbers that we have on this list for the kids combined. We got the phone for the kids to have with them when they went to their other parent's house so they could keep in touch with us (and it has paid off). We keep it on 24 hr restriction (you can set restricted hours) so that someone at the other parent's house can't get the phone and run up our minutes since all of our phones are on one shared plan. This also always makes sure Robert has our numbers with him because he can't remember our phone numbers.

The number restriction is two fold. I have Sean's phone set to where his is on call restriction during school hours and after 10 p.m. He can always call his safe numbers but not outside numbers during school or once it starts getting late. He has fewer safe numbers because he would be texting his Aunt during school.

Keakie February 11th, 2013 09:10 PM

Re: Phone calls
Document, document, document. It's blatant denial of phone access and no judge is going to ask someone to pay their working ex's phone bill just because. She can kick rocks.

How old is the oldest again? Would it be possible to help the kids set up a Skype account (assuming she has Internet)? You'll probably still have to buy them a microphone (and webcam, if you'd like to use that feature too but it isn't necessary to use Skype) but it would be a lot cheaper than a phone and it greatly lessens the chance that it will end up being used for bm's benefit instead of the kids'.

stresswife February 12th, 2013 09:30 AM

Re: Phone calls
I'm not sure if she has a computer, I know Ethan has been playing computer games but I think that is at his grandma's house. DH is leaving for work today so he'll only talk to her through texts until he gets back home but maybe we can talk to the grandma and see if she'll do that.

DH said Ethan told him he was getting a phone this weekend, but that makes no sense.. if she can't even pay her own bill why would she get him one?
they will 8 and 6 in May, Ethan could be really responsible now, it's been almost a year since we've seen him but to me I just don't think a kid that young needs a phone.

K.A.T February 13th, 2013 04:41 PM

Re: Phone calls
I'm with Kayla, document. She can pay for her own darn minutes. I also agree that 8 is just too young for a phone. They really don't need it. There can be some exceptions, but this doesn't sound like one of them.

stucklikeglue February 13th, 2013 10:50 PM

Re: Phone calls
The kids seems to get phones younger and younger, my sk were 9, 10 and 10. I agree to document everything.

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