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-   -   No support from dh. 1mnt pp (https://www.justmommies.com/forums/f30-breastfeeding/2675579-no-support-dh-1mnt-pp.html)

Mself145 August 29th, 2013 10:00 PM

No support from dh. 1mnt pp
My husband does not support my breastfeeding at all. He says i can "do whatever you want" but he's really not supportive at all.

I have a 1 month old daughter who is a very eager eater. Latches so easily and i have no problemm with supply. I can pump in 5 minutes and get enough for a feeding, and 10minutes i will have extra to store. The only thing i wanted from this pregnancy besides a healthy baby, was to breastfeed.

I have given formula on days where we are out of he house for an extended time. I always bring at least 1 bottle of breastmilk, and ihave 1 formula for emergencies. He doesnt understand why i just dont give formula. I tried to explain, but its like he doesn't care to try to understand.

No one in my family bf, i was ff. my dh was ff, and my dh sister pumped for her son for a few weeks and then "had to stop because ididn't produce enough" with her second she pumped for about 4 weeks and then "had to stop because she was allergic".
But in the next sentence she says she didn't want to change her diet (for the allergy), so her dd is on a very expensive special formula.
I'm a nurse and on a floor where sometimes i am the only nurse there. I know sometimes it can be busy and i know before and during pregnancy where there use to be days of (2 minute lunches, or i think i peed today) moments. My workplace totally supports moms who breastfeed. I know i can find 5 minutes every 4 hours or so to pump at the least. I know it won't be easy, and i'm willing to start takig fenugeek and oatmeal 3 times a day if i have too. And i will be off 4 days a week where i can exclusively bf. my dh seems to think i'm "stupid if you think you can pump at work when u can't even find time to eat"

Sorry for all the typos. I'm on my phone. I'm worried because i start work in 2 weeks. Am i being nieve? Should i just give up and ff?

crunchywannabe August 30th, 2013 12:17 AM

Re: No support from dh. 1mnt pp
You can absolutely make breastfeeding/breastmilk work in your situation!
You seem willing and able to put in the effort, so I say why not!

When I was pregnant it was important to me to breastfeed, and DH also had a "do what you want, just don't let it interfere with me" attitude. Since then He has come a LONG way! He was initially swayed when I took him for a stroll down the formula aisle and showed him the cost, and explained how fast you go through the tins that cost $30+ :)
Then I compared that to.....FREE! He was sold.

You may never change anyone's mind, but if you believe you can do it, give it your best shot! Is there a Le Leche League near you? I bet you'd find all kinds of support and resources there to help you!
It's so great to hear you have a BF/pumping friendly work environment!

mgm78 August 30th, 2013 05:04 AM

Re: No support from dh. 1mnt pp
your DH needs to be schooled on WHY it is important for baby AND MOM to nurse. And as far as going back to work, definitely doable. I would pump when i got to work, before work started, to add a little more pumping in there. Hang in there and get DH educated because he is not.

Rachel August 30th, 2013 08:11 AM

Re: No support from dh. 1mnt pp
You can do it! Please please please don't let him discourage you. I'd say the number 2 reason moms give up on breastfeeding (lack of education on breastfeeding being #1), is lack of support. Ugh, I just really hate to hear this.

Hang in there, mama! You're giving your little guy the best you can.

As a side note, I'm wondering why you're giving formula at all. You say when you're out for long periods of time, so I have to wonder why you're not nursing while you're out. :confused:

ThaiSpice August 30th, 2013 08:18 AM

Re: No support from dh. 1mnt pp
It's definitely doable! And as for pumping at work, you are legally entitled to breaks for pumping--not that those breaks have to be paid breaks, but you have to be allowed to pump. Just know that around 3 months, your hormones start to level out, and where you may have somewhat of an oversupply right now, you may not have that oversupply at 3 months, so a lot of moms who pump at work sort of have to work at keeping up the supply (by making sure to pump frequently enough, drink enough water, eat enough calories, possibly take supplements, etc.). But it's totally doable. I pumped at work for my first until she wsa 13 months old, and there were times it was tough, or where I couldn't pump enough to keep up with what she was drinking, but every bit of it was worth it.

I would definitely try to connect with a BF support group/La Lehce League in your area if you have one. And hopefully your DHwill eventually get on board. You're doing a great thing, so keep it up!

Mself145 August 31st, 2013 12:02 PM

Re: No support from dh. 1mnt pp
I don't nurse in public due to my own insecurities/modesty. I come from an extreamly modest family, and have no problem whipping it out in front of my husband, but anyone one else i can't. Even covered up, i tried for a bit, but i couldn't relax to feed even though baby had no problem. Early on i would lock myself in a bathroom to feed if i was out, but it was too much of a hassle, and uncomfortable. So i started bringing a bottle of BM and formula in case.

I always feed the BM first, but I'm afraid if we are out too long, that the milk will go bad. Thus the emergency formula on hand.

RUNNER25 August 31st, 2013 01:54 PM

Re: No support from dh. 1mnt pp
You can absolutely do this and you should NOT stop! I've learned something since becoming a mom...sometimes YOU will be the only one who believes in something, or has an instinct about something. Despite what other people may say, you need to do what's best for you and your baby. Please listen to your heart and your mommy instinct.

You know how important breast milk is for your baby. And it just kills me when moms quit for no good reasons.

I did not have any kind of breastfeeding support either. Nobody in my family breastfed before I did. My DH just went along with whatever I wanted to do. Make the decision that you ARE going to do this...alone or with support (and I really hope your DH sees the benefit...if not, oh well!)

mgm78 September 1st, 2013 04:37 AM

Re: No support from dh. 1mnt pp
No one nursed in either of our families either, but i surrounded myself with people who were supportive, thru mom groups and the La Leche.

As far as going out, you can pump and put it on an ice bag so it will last longer. It will last at room temp for 4-8 hours!


angelsailor288 September 2nd, 2013 06:12 PM

Re: No support from dh. 1mnt pp
Hey, figure now that when you sit down to pump, you can have that time to eat!! Its a win win :)

And ditto what everyone else said. Hubby needs to educate himself. Its part of being a parent.

Shea131 September 7th, 2013 05:11 PM

Re: No support from dh. 1mnt pp
You can do it!! I'm going back to work at the beginning of October and will be continuing to breastfeed/pump.

Kalia20 September 12th, 2013 02:57 PM

Re: No support from dh. 1mnt pp
a childs needs is #1 priority right from day one, before spouses. You will always be that childs mother no matter what happens, our DH's may not always be our DH's. (we dont want that but hey things happen in relationships thats reality). I hope you told him to stuff it, I know I sure would if mine wasnt on board. He had outside influences going through him instead of me cause Im not quiet on being told "im doing it wrong, stop she has teeth, shes 6 months old, you have to stop at a year, you're supposed to FF......" etc etc and sometimes I had to put him in his place, but not always. A supportive man helps big time, but when it comes to my babys health, well, no one can influence me otherwise ;)

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