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-   -   What is your biggest struggle with your child(ren)? (https://www.justmommies.com/forums/f44-christian-parenting/2629200-what-your-biggest-struggle-your-child-ren.html)

mamaginger February 25th, 2013 12:47 PM

What is your biggest struggle with your child(ren)?
I know each child is different so you can answer for each.

With my 7yr old son it's his mouth. He absolutely can NOT control his mouth and we are constantly fussing, reminding, punishing him and it never changes. He is so LOUD first of all. He literally almost yells in everyday conversation. At least 10 times a day we each say to him... "stop yelling!" Also, he wants to be funny (and he is) but he will say something OVER AND OVER AND OVER. Again, we are constantly telling him "ONE TIME is funny....stop saying it over and over. It's not funny anymore." He also interrupts all the time and whatever he's got to say...he HAS to say it no matter the consequences...he's going to say what is on his mind even if you say...STOP....HUSH....WAIT A MINUTE...STOP TALKING....ETC. He will keep blurting it out over and over until he's said it and gotten a response.

So this translates into LOTS of issues in a classroom setting. He talks constantly, interrupts and disrupts. It's all happy, good things....nothing bad. He just LOVES to talk and loves to be funny but can't seem to stop when warned or even punished. He isn't disrespectful or defiant at all....he's just in his own little world and has so much to say/discuss, he can't stop himself. In some ways it's good because he is so smart and learns a lot from all the questions he asks and discussions we have. However, it's MADDENING on a daily basis and very disruptive in a classroom setting. He has homeschool group on Tuesdays, Weds night classes at church and Sunday school. He gets his name on the board and teachers are constantly warning/correcting him. He also usually isn't paying attention to what he's suppose to be learning because he's too busy talking to his friends or trying to make them laugh. If/when we punish him when he gets home, then he cries and doesn't want to go back to classes the following week for fear of being punished again. He says he "can't help it" and just doesn't want to go so he won't risk losing a privilege again.

Any advice? What's your struggle?

jeweluv February 28th, 2013 10:04 PM

Re: What is your biggest struggle with your child(ren)?
Hey, Ging!!

Sounds like you got yourself a lil guy who will go far and impact this world greatly! Congrats...sometimes the toughest kids to steer are often the ones that make the greatest impact. Not sure if you knew, but I was a teacher. I'm thinking Mr. Denton needs to be stimulated and have tons of pos reinforcement....whcih I KNOW u give him and yet, being human, tolerance is tough! Repetitive children = high blood pressured parents lol...!!!

I have some suggestions. It seems as if he is almost compulsively talking which is very normal for a young child considering they don't have a filter and their brains are going so fast, and growing so fast. What about giving him a little notebook so that during times of "innappropriate talking" times...he can jot it down there, revisit it later, and look over and fiter whether or not it is worth saying. This will help him develop a filter while also allowing him to experience all of his thoughts and feelings. I know, being an over active brainer' lol, that sometimes being bombarded with all sorts of thoughts and ideas can be overhwhelming. Perhaps, if he has an outlet, a notebook or something very small, he will feel the relief of expresing the thought though will have to then later review it, sit down with you, and see if it is up for discussion. Now, some things are un-school related and prob' very kid like...such as repeating strange things or irrelevant and unmeaningful things over and over.............I suggest a few things...since much of this repetiviness is very typical of children because it gives them a comfort...maybe giving him a watch and telling him that once he says it, he can;t repeat it for at least 2 minutes.........by the time 1 minute comes, the urge will be less. Encourgae him to write things down when you feel you are getting overwhelmed ....this way you can center yourself and he can still feel that anything he needs to say, will be heard....in time when it can be heard!!!

xoxoxo thinking of you....miss you!!! xoxoxoxo!!!

Genipher March 2nd, 2013 12:11 PM

Re: What is your biggest struggle with your child(ren)?
My boys seem to be this way, too. Once they start talking they just HAVE to finish what they're saying. So if the phone rings or something comes up and I tell them to hold their tongue for a moment...they don't. They just keep talking until they finish their thought.
They can also get pretty loud...like they have no control over the level of their voice.

If your son was yelling just to yell, I would suggest GSE (Grapefruit Seed Extract) mixed with water. Every time he yelled, give him a "dose". It tastes bad but is really good for the immune system!

My biggest issue with my boys is getting them to STOP arguing with me. If I tell the 3 year old it's time for bed, he argues and says I'm wrong. If I ask my 6 year old to wash the table, he comes up with reasons why he can't. arg!
On the flip-side, our 2 girls (even the 1.5 year old!!) are extremely helpful. If I ask them to do something, they DO IT!
So is this just a gender thing?

Countrymom4 March 4th, 2013 02:19 PM

Re: What is your biggest struggle with your child(ren)?
We have a couple different things here:

Teagan : Pre teen girl, emotional !!!!
Kyren: Very selective hearing
Cohen: testing both me and DH
Rogan: tantrums!!

mamaginger March 5th, 2013 10:33 AM

Re: What is your biggest struggle with your child(ren)?
Erica...I was a teacher too!! Special Ed!! Lol. So I'm use to kids with difficulties and social issues but its a little different when its your own! Ugh! It's just so embarrassing to sit in a classroom with your child and see how HE is the most disruptive and annoying. It seems like everyone else's kids are so well behaved and easily redirected if they get off task. :/ He LOATHES writing but I may try having a notebook nearby. Maybe he'll stop if he knows he will have to write it.

momie2b9-20-11 March 6th, 2013 05:01 PM

Re: What is your biggest struggle with your child(ren)?
You son kinda sounds like me when I was younger. I had ADD and a lot of similar symptoms. I was eventually put on medicine and that really helped me once older. But (not all sure what) I know there are lots of things to help and try and work with kids that possibly may have ADD. I'm not sure that what it is of course, but he sounds a lot like me - the not being able to help it especially and then the being discouraged about not wanting to do something again for fear of being disciplined for something I felt like I couldn't control. It was VERY frustrating to me as a child growing up! I'd go to my room sometimes and just cry because I wanted to do good but felt like I couldn't and didn't know what to do to help myself.

My mom was more like me so it was very difficult to try and sometimes talk with her. But, my dad was more calm and very easy to talk to. What helped me sometimes was when my dad (or my mom but especially my dad since he was more laid-back) gave me one on one attention and asked me to talk - tell them what I'm feeling and sometimes just a big hug while I was talking. And, nothing to try and interrupt that time until I was finished talking. Then, if it was something my dad/mom thought need discussing or wasn't the most appropriate then they would discuss it AFTER I finished talking. Also like Erica said - writing things down sometimes helped also. But, if you son doesn't like writing, try having them draw things to express his feelings. My parents tried social therapy (or something like that) when younger to try and have them help me with these issues prior to me being put on medicine. And, one thing that the counselor/therapist usually did was have me draw things. I wasn't good at drawing but it was a GREAT way for me to express my feelings! Good luck Ginger - hang in there mama!!

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