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-   -   I could use some prayers.. *UPDATE* (https://www.justmommies.com/forums/f44-christian-parenting/2691502-i-could-use-some-prayers-update.html)

SkyBaby November 10th, 2013 08:56 PM

I could use some prayers.. *UPDATE*
Update in post #7

Tomorrow I have an OB appointment. In this appointment, I need to schedule my csection. I have a phobia of surgeries thanks to something I went through as a small child. My usually fine blood pressure even measured sky high on the first prenatal appointment this time around just from my intense nerves and I could barely calm that down enough for a healthier looking reading. I'm doing ok since then with other appointments but I still get the butterflies going in and relieved when it's over.

I want to have a vbac, but my OB says my chances aren't high. I'm not too sure I buy that. I've been doing a lot of research and really feel a vbac is the safer option both for this baby and me now and any future pregnancies I have. I also want to be happy and proud of myself when my son is born instead of panicking and feeling like a failure. I have outlined certain things that will help me feel better about having another csection, and plan on talking to my OB about it seriously this appointment, but would still strongly prefer to avoid one.

I know I should be excited. There was a time when I prayed endlessly for a baby for almost 18 months after I miscarried. Lily was unusually hard, most experienced moms told me most babies aren't like that. I wasn't ready to be pregnant again and just thought I'd deal with this stuff when DD is at least a few years old. I was ready while pregnant with DD to be tired and sore from some method of delivery and exhausted taking care of a newborn. I wasn't prepared to be so sleep deprived I was delirious and hallucinating. She cried from sun down to sun up and only slept during the day. By the time she was asleep sometime around sunrise, I was too wound up and my nerves too frazzled for sleep to be possible for me and only managed a few catnaps during the day those first almost 2 months of her life. I am very thankful DH is taking 8 weeks off this time around instead of the 6 weeks he did last time and that he has the ability to do that with his job.

I was over the moon excited being pregnant with her and would sometimes cry tears of joy and thank God, but like most people I know, I was still a little nervous, but not too bad. Now I'm more nervous than excited. I feel so guilty about that. If this baby has her same issues.. I don't know how I'm going to deal with that. I just don't know if I have that in me. After things got much easier with her, I buried those feelings and fears very deeply and didn't really give it too much extra thought after that. I guess I didn't bury it deep enough because all of that is resurfacing this time around and I'm only just now in my third trimester and this pregnancy is going waaaay too fast.

I also wish someone in my life would acknowledge my fears and not just give me the cliche "Just be thankful you have two healthy babies." Yeah of course that's the priority, but doesn't my sanity matter, too?

I'm sorry to unload like this, I just really needed to get this out because I really need the prayers. I really want a vbac, but if I need a csection, I at least want to not be so terrified and strong enough to be happy to see him.

Rainbow Momma November 11th, 2013 08:47 AM

Re: I could use some prayers..
Praying for strength and relaxation for you!

Countrymom4 November 11th, 2013 12:07 PM

Re: I could use some prayers..
We are here for you. I will be praying for you :)

Ame C November 12th, 2013 05:21 AM

Re: I could use some prayers..
Praying that you have the birth of your dreams and that God gives you the peace and strength you need. How did your appointment go?

Countrymom4 November 12th, 2013 09:09 AM

Re: I could use some prayers..
How did things go ???

#5in2005 November 12th, 2013 10:01 AM

Re: I could use some prayers..
I'm wondering the same, how did it go?

I hope you were able to communicate well together and make a plan you're both comfortable with, and that you at least feel like you were listened to.

SkyBaby November 12th, 2013 01:16 PM

Re: I could use some prayers..
The appointment went wonderfully. Everything that happened yesterday was truly an answer to my prayers. My glucose screening test came back perfectly fine and that was the first big hurdle to get over to make vbac possible. Next, I went into the appointment expecting to schedule the csection right on my due date, at 40 weeks on the dot. DH asked my OB for me what the latest I could go is and my OB said he is comfortable with up to 10 days after the due date. Csection is now set for the 15 of February!!

He then listed his criteria for letting me try. Things like small baby to fit through my narrow pelvis, amniotic fluid levels as apparently that can decrease as baby grows, labor on or before 39-40 weeks, all that. There are a ton of birth stories on the internet of moms having successful vbacs of babies bigger than their csection baby. I also know ultrasound measurements in those last weeks can be as much as 2 pounds off in either direction.

I went into spontaneous labor with DD the night before I was scheduled to be induced at 10 days late. I'm hoping the same thing happens this time, but earlier would be good too lol.

I'm pretty much praying for a smooth rest of my pregnancy, a smooth, easier delivery, and easy recovery. I have to admit, I am feeling so relieved and much better about this. DH is behind me 100% and even offered to call the insurance to switch OBs for me! Whether or not I was going to switch hinged on this appointment and I have to say I feel pretty good about sticking with my current OB. I also felt good enough about this to go ahead and preregister with the hospital. This is certainly a step in the right direction.

Rainbow Momma November 12th, 2013 04:54 PM

Re: I could use some prayers.. *UPDATE*
That is so awesome to hear! a bit of encouragement..my aunt went into labor with her first baby (9lbs 1oz), was in labor for 13 hours then had to deliver by csection, finally got pregnant with her second baby and scheduled a csection. 2 days before her scheduled csection she went into labor and had Nora 2 hours later by vbac (9lbs 11oz). it is very possible so keep your head up!

#5in2005 November 13th, 2013 11:03 AM

Re: I could use some prayers.. *UPDATE*
I'm so glad to hear your appointment went well, and hooray for a good glucose test.

Countrymom4 November 13th, 2013 08:06 PM

Re: I could use some prayers.. *UPDATE*
Yay ! so glad thing went good !!

Ame C November 14th, 2013 10:54 AM

Re: I could use some prayers.. *UPDATE*
That's awesome! Praying everything continues to go smoothly and in your favor. I'm hoping to go into labor naturally before my doctor plans to induce me. I don't have an induction date set yet but I know he wants to do it around 38 weeks. It would be great if we both got our ideal birth plans. Good luck girly! :smile:

mamaginger December 6th, 2013 06:18 AM

Re: I could use some prayers.. *UPDATE*
Hey! How are you feeling now? I can understand the fears about your sanity completely!!

SkyBaby December 6th, 2013 10:30 AM

Re: I could use some prayers.. *UPDATE*

Originally Posted by mamaginger (Post 27840595)
Hey! How are you feeling now? I can understand the fears about your sanity completely!!

I have butterflies thinking of the delivery, but who doesn't? I have good days and bad days. The pregnancy is going waaay too fast and we don't have much of anything for him, let alone starting on his room. I think if we got a good start on his nursery and got some stuff for him, that would help a lot.

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