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-   -   DH won't agree :( (https://www.justmommies.com/forums/f124-done-having-children/2701308-dh-wont-agree.html)

FairyDustMom January 2nd, 2014 09:52 PM

DH won't agree :(
Hello moms.
Figured I post here as I need honest advice.
When DH and I dated we agreed we wanted a family of 3-5 kids.
We got married and had a daughter in 2010 and just recently another girl two months ago.
He didnt want to have a second child but I convinced him it would be good for DD to have a sibling. We got pregnant on first try ( he didnt think it'd be that easy as it took us 8 months with first).
Whole pregnancy he was hoping for boy - complained when he found out he has another girl. Also told me to not complain to him about any pregnancy pains as he never really wanted a second.
He doesn't deal with pressure/stress well. When he has to tend to the kids he blames them for taking up his time and freedom. It is annoying and wish he was more positive.
I always wanted three kids but he already told me he will sell all the baby items and not have another ćild again.
He loves taking trips, vacations and told me kids cost too much money for travel. That is the only thing he looks forward to in life is vacations. Also he likes freedom and not be on a schedule.
I feel like this is bothering me that he is not open to this at all. He says he will refuse to have a third girl as that would embarass him (really wanted a boy).
Even if I did convince him I am worried it will end up a girl and he would be disappointed.

Any advice or feedback appreciated :)

neon January 7th, 2014 11:30 AM

Re: DH won't agree :(
I would not try to pressure him to have any more children, he sounds incredibly resentful. Maybe discuss it in a few years. In that time he may mature, and the kids will get easier to take care of as they get older. Sorry you are dealing with this, he sounds like a jerk.

ProudMommy2014 January 16th, 2014 12:40 PM

Re: DH won't agree :(
Sorry to hear that, I know how disappointing it is not to have another child. I wouldn't pressure him into it though, if he doesn't want another child pressuring him into it could make him resent you or even the child. You just may have to accept the fact that your two children you have now will be the only children you will have, or maybe revisit this convo after a year or so to see if he changed his mind.

Jodi Dawn June 13th, 2014 06:18 PM

Re: DH won't agree :(
I wouldnt pressure him into it. But he does sound like a jerk. You could always have kids later on with someone else if it comes down to it

jersey_gray July 18th, 2014 12:13 AM

Re: DH won't agree :(
He is a jerk but you can't pressure a person into having a child. It is not fair to the child.

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