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scared and confused

Forum: Unplanned Pregnancy


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June 23rd, 2008, 09:59 PM
Join Date: Jun 2008
Posts: 4
I was engaged and we called it off about a month ago and now i just found out I am pregnant with his child. I have told him and he says he is going to be there but he is already breaking plans to just hang out and be around. I am not so sure that he will last the next 9 months or even be a part of the baby's life. We do love each other and we have talked about trying to date and get things back on track but all he keeps saying is i am scared. It doesnt help that his family doesnt like me. They think i tried to trap him with all this. and I really didnt. I mean it takes two to make a baby.
I feel really alone. and just confused about it all. i want to have this baby. I know it isnt going to be easy and I am hoping that he will come around and be there but i also know that i cant rely on his decisions. I am just hurt....
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June 23rd, 2008, 10:09 PM
navywifey2003's Avatar Home Birth Mama
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Clovis, CA
Posts: 37,585
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I am sure he will come around hun. Try and get him to come to your first ultrasound. Thats what clinched it for my husband! He was so scared when we found out we were pregnant with our son. He wouldnt even talk about the baby look at baby stuff or anything. And he was my husband and wanted children. The ultrasound makes things more real. My hubby actually cried at our son's first u/s. As for his parents been there done that with my inlaws. They have since come around and are better. I still feel very akward around them. But they love our son and love my husband. Im sure everything will work itself out. Things are probably just a little out of it right now. Everyone needs time to let it sink it. We are here for you. Feel free to PM me if you need anything or want to ask anything privately. HUGS

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June 24th, 2008, 06:51 PM
Join Date: Jun 2008
Posts: 216
Finding out you're going to be a mommy or daddy can be very overwhelming. Like navywifey said, include him in everything especially the scans as sometimes for men, the baby is not a reality until they physically see it.

You're not alone, many of us have been there. Focus all your energy and good thoughts on the baby and you'll find plenty of strength in the little one.
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June 26th, 2008, 08:17 AM
Join Date: Jun 2008
Posts: 4
things have gotten worse in the last couple of days. His mother has gone absolutely crazy. she is calling my mom all the time talking about what a bad person i am and how i am ruining her sons life. He hasnt been much better either. He pretty much has just run away to another girl. He cont. to say on ill be there ill help blah blah blah i dont think i should believe it anymore. My mom thinks i should just move home and let her take care of me and figure out things with out him.
I am highly thinking about adoption right now. Which has always been a choice. But in the state of alabama it is a law to have the father sign the papers and i really dont think he would. He threatens to take the child from me all the time. Which i dont understand to begin with because there is no way he could take care of it. and i sure would not what my child to be raised by his parents. I am just so confused. I keep getting advice from my mom telling me that i should get out while i can even if it is a little too late. But he is emotionally bringing me down......
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June 26th, 2008, 08:48 AM
sara~b's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Pittsburgh PA
Posts: 10,350
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I think moving home with your mom is a great idea. Your situation sounds very similar to my daughter's bio father. He acted the same and then wanted to come in and out of her life as he pleased. He finally signed over his parental rights last year but now he wants to be involved again. I would definitely say to get out while you can and just cut off communication until he's ready and willing to step up (if he ever is). GL!
Sara, 27, married to Shane, 31, mom to Gemma, 6, and Ashlyn, born 8/7/10

Running for my health and sanity!
PR's: 5k-25:05 (old PR 25:10), 5M-45:03 (old PR - 47:22), 10k - 52:00 (approximate - training), HM-2:25:58 (ran a 2:17:36 during marathon), Full- 4:49:25 (old PR -5:49:40), 50k-7:05:56, 50M-13:31:14, 100k- 18:59:31 (old PR 20:56)
(All of these PR's are going down this season!)

My Pregnancy Chart: http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/1c6297
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June 26th, 2008, 03:23 PM
Mom4Life_11's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Nov 2006
Posts: 8,466
I hope everything works out for you hun!

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June 27th, 2008, 03:19 PM
herewegoagain's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Saskatoon SK
Posts: 2,322
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I think moving back home is a great idea, you have the support there! His mom needs to butt out, and he needs to grow up.

I went thru this with my first, I told him I was pregnant and wham he is gone. I was so glad I had the family support, cause I was a single mom, the dad was a deadbeat. And now I have a very healthy 10 year old boy who turned my life right around.

You can do it my dear, stay strong and lean on your mom for the support, that is what she is there for!!

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