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still don't know what to do

Forum: Unplanned Pregnancy


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July 30th, 2008, 11:14 AM
rose4123's Avatar Regular
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Charleston WV
Posts: 3
Dh and I have been having lots of talks about what to do about this whole pregnancy thing. Dh says he will support me in any choice I make. I have been feeling just plain sick and cry all the time. I HATE it! I am not an emotional person but I cry at the drop of a hat now. My stomache is always doing back flips. This morning I got sick before I could eat! Plus I have been very very gassy, which makes me every more queasy then I was before. I have been leaning towards abortion lately because I just want it all to stop. Neither of us think raising a child right now would be a good thing for us. We live in an apartment, I have more then $36,000 in school loans, I am just starting my career, Dh is looking to change careers, plus we want more time to be just us and the cat.
That feeling has just strengthened when I found out a friend of ours nearly died during delivery. She's fine, but it was a very very close call. When we found that out Dh and I began to completely panic. Dh doesn't even want to think about losing me, and I don't really want to die right now. I honestly wish it would go away on it's own so I wouldn't have to choose. I feel like I'm forced regardless if we end it or keep it.
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July 30th, 2008, 12:46 PM
navywifey2003's Avatar Home Birth Mama
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Clovis, CA
Posts: 37,585
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We all have fears about bringing a child into this world. We all worry about complications during delievery. Have you gone to the doctor yet? They can give you something for the queasyness. The gave me vitamin b6 and it worked really well for me. Also motherhood materniry sells a candy called preggo drops or preggo pops and they work well for m/s. You can also try seabands. The ones for motion sickness. Ginger helps as well. Club soda and ginger ale. With our son A small spoon full of vanilla ice cream helped it coats your stomach. In the long run I think your fears are pretty normal and wanting the m/s to stop is even more normal. After the 1st trimester your hormones balance out. And your body gets use to them. As for the money issue I have BTDT and Im still doing that. We make okay money but we still struggle a bit pay check to pay check but we make due. When we got pregnant with our son we only lived in a 1 bedroom apartment and our son slept in our room until we moved. I would take time to make you decision. Talk to your husband some more about it. We were not ready when we got pregnant with our son but made it work.

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July 30th, 2008, 02:58 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Rhode Island
Posts: 3,668
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Well.. It sounds like you dont want the baby. It seems you are searching for reasons that you cant have the baby. If you are thinking of reasons to make it easier for you (almost to help you not feel guilty) then I would say adoption might be better. It seems that whatever reasons we think make us completely not ready for a baby right now change in time. For example you might look back and say I could have done it and that was a silly reason. Hope whatever decision you make you are happy with !

Thanks to Heather aka Mom2*Lauryn*Jacob* for my awesome siggy!!!
Make a pregnancy ticker
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July 31st, 2008, 02:19 AM
Ellemphriem's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Dreamland...........
Posts: 2,644
Well.. It sounds like you dont want the baby. It seems you are searching for reasons that you cant have the baby.[/b]
I would agree with that. You think i am not scared of dying on the delivery table??? I actually feel that i KNOW i am not going to be able to make it through.....or my husband? I don't think he would like to loose me. In fact in a recent conversation he told me that there would be NO question who to save if it all came to that. But i cannot help my fears but face them....whatever happens, it is written down for me. I hope you understand that you are not the only one to think like that. Somewhere else i said that due to a problem in the first trimester i wanted to abort the pregnancy, do the operation (thought needed then) and then try again. The doc told me this "You cannot be sure that nature will enable to have this chance again. No woman does. This was a gift and it has life. Now it's your choice".....I say the same to you.

Good luck and health to whatever you decide


" \m/ Now Iím riding through the air
going to where no one dares
on the way Iíll cross the line forevermore \m/ "

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July 31st, 2008, 02:24 AM
Join Date: Jul 2008
Posts: 56
I feel very similar to you.
Scared, anxious and unsure of what to do.
Im hoping things will become clearer for me in the next week or so. I hope they do for you too.
Expecting my first</span>

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July 31st, 2008, 10:39 AM
BoobyDutyAgainJen's Avatar Proud Mom & Birth Mom
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 28,941
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How far along are you? If you aren't that far then you have some time to think on things. There is no reason to rush such an important and long effecting decision.

When I got pregnant due to a rape when I was a teen I felt like my world had ended. Not only did I have this traumatic experience to deal with but I also had this thing growing inside me. I hated it! I was miserable and big and got preeclampysia and high school was a PITA obviously. However I knew that no matter how much I hated that little life that it deserved a chance. I placed my baby girl up for adoption the day she was born. It allowed me to not kick myself in the rear about an abortion and I knew/know she is happy.

I am not telling you this because I necessarily think adoption is your path...and I am very pro-choice to boot so don't feel like I am saying you shouldn't have an abortion either. I am just offering up another perspective, another answer. Please come on over to the birth mother's board if you would like to read more about it.

Also you are more than welcome to PM me anytime...I will try to help in any way I can. I KNOW it's hard.

Thanks *Kiliki* for the precious siggy!

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