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Forum: Unplanned Pregnancy


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December 13th, 2005, 08:12 PM
Join Date: Dec 2005
Posts: 6
Hi everyone...
I was wandering around this website and I saw how supportive everyone is, and I thought I should say hello

I am 27, and about 11 weeks pregnant. I am on my own. The guy was someone I had seen for a couple months, but were never really in a relationship - ha, he's a cop in my town, and we met one night when he pulled me over on the way home from the bar. Had someone told me I would be in this situation now, I sure would have done the speed limit that night.

He's been in and out of my life for the past 9 months. The day I found out I was pregnant, I hadn't spoken to him in about two weeks, so that was one of the toughest phone calls to make. He didn't call me back right away, 3 days later actually, and I made him come to the house so I could tell him in person. I was terrified. He was good about it - didn't start with the whole, "it's not mine" crap I was afraid he would pull, but at the same time he told me, I can't deal with this right now, physically, financially or mentally. (UMMM...like I could?!? ) This was also when I found out that he has a daughter, 2 years old, who he is the primary parent for.

I am trying to be understanding to him, we talk, but then he disappears on me, doesn't return my phone calls, we talked 2 weeks ago and I told him that I decided, with or without him, I was keeping the baby. I have feelings for this guy, so that is killing me on top of the fact that he is going to abandon his child. How can someone do that?? It is so far beyond my comprehension. But we talked, and I asked him as he was leaving, am I going to see you again, or are you going to disappear on me again. He said he would be back, and was supposed to stop by that Friday, but never did. How can someone treat another person like this? How can he have a daughter, and completely ignore the fact that I am pregnant with his child? I know it was not planned - but come on now! Am I really just naive??

I don't know how I am going to do this on my own, nothing is cheap in New Jersey, and I make too much for any programs. My family is all in Ga - and they are pressuring me to move there - I don't want to. I want to give the dad a chance to come around once the baby is born (is that stupid to hope that once the actual baby is here he'll change his mind??) Not to mention I have a wonderful job, and my apartment is affordable. I just don't see how I am going to come up with 900+ for day care a month!

I just needed to vent, if you have any opinions, advice, please let me know, I would appreciate it
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December 14th, 2005, 12:10 AM
magilatuzzi's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Vancouver Island, British Columbia
Posts: 4,599
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I just wanted to offer you and invite you to the july ddc... i am guessing you are due in July. There are alot of great women there that are full of advice! Feel free to email me at [email protected] too if you want to chat!
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DS Drew, 04/94, DS Braden, 10/97, DS Nick, 07/99, DD Danika 07/06, DD Gabriella 11/07,
DSD Rayelle 03/97, DSD Seryna, 06/01
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