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Forum: Unplanned Pregnancy


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December 13th, 2005, 10:27 PM
Join Date: Dec 2005
Posts: 3
I found out a few months ago I was carrying. I refused to believe the tests and even questioned the correctness of blood testing for pregnacy. Unfortunately, I am faced with having a baby and I don't like babies. My husband wants it, but he is military and wont be there most of the first 2 years. I have family that want to keep the baby until it's potty trained as I want nothing to to do with it. Even in the pregnacy stage. I'm sick all the time can't sleep and completely miserable bordering on manic deperssion because of this nightmare growing in me. I can't adopt it out as my hubby would never forgive me and I don't believe in abortion for myself. I'm so lost. Any advice?
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December 14th, 2005, 06:20 PM
mommytutu's Avatar mom to Emma & Jacqueline
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Bradenton, Fl
Posts: 13,831
You are really faced with a hard decision.

My best suggestion for you would be to go to a family counciler with your husband and talk. In my opinion, it should be both you and your husbands decision on whether to keep or abort your child, however, ultimately it is up to you.

I think for both your peace of mind, and his, you need to come to an agreement together, and a counciler is the place to start.

Good luck.


I just wanted to add that your symptoms will probably ease up soon. They always say you feel so much better during your second trimester!! Just a little light at the end of the tunnel...
Kayttie, in love with Shane, mom to Emma Brynn and Jacqueline Noel

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December 14th, 2005, 06:38 PM
Super Mommy
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Half Moon Bay, CA
Posts: 670
Yes! You definitely need to see a counselor as these feelings are very unhealthy and since you plan to go to term you're going to need to change your perspective of the entire thing to a more positive way of looking at things if you're going to get through this and not be miserable. All your emotions your baby can feel too you know? Not too get too personal but I don't understand how you got pregnant if you're so anti-baby. Condom break or BC pills fail you or something?
If you do end up keeping it as opposed to putting the baby up for adoption please try to change your view on this whole ordeal as this baby is just an innocent little creature who didn't ask to be here and all it needs is love
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December 15th, 2005, 06:38 AM
justjaQ's Avatar Platinum Super Mommy
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Sterling Heights, MI
Posts: 19,640
If you do end up keeping it as opposed to putting the baby up for adoption please try to change your view on this whole ordeal as this baby is just an innocent little creature who didn't ask to be here and all it needs is love[/b]
Just wanted to add that, it's possible that it could just naturally change on its own.

All my life, I wanted nothing to do with babies, I just couldn't stand being around them. Obviously, at some point, my feelings did a 180, and I'll never really know why.
msjaQ- 28, pantheist AP detroit mama to:
timothy michael, august 31, 2003, 12:02pm, 8 lb. 4 oz., 21"- 38 wks.
melissa may, april 7, 2006, 1:31pm, 7 lb. 10.5 oz., 19.5"- 36.5 wks
nicholas michael, january 31, 2010, 5:12pm, 5 lb. 11 oz., 18.25"- 37.1 wks
damon michael, january 21, 2012, 1:31am, 6 lb. 14 oz., 20", 38 wks
rainbow baby left me at 6-1/2 weeks on 09.08.12~ never forgotten, sweet child

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December 15th, 2005, 11:12 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: West Virginia
Posts: 1,668
Having children is not for everyone and you should not feel bad for feeling the way you do. I agree with everyone else though...you should get councilling just for your own peace of mind and to help DH understand where you are coming from as well. If you don't start talking about your feelings, things are going to get a lot worse for you, him, and anyone else you are close to.

I have a girlfriend that feels the same way you do about children. She is still childless to this day and is completely happy about her choice. She hates kids and I can accept that as part of her personalility .... she is still a wonderful human being just like Im sure you are.

Good luck to you!

Forgot to add this:

I didn't want another baby when I first got preg either. My kids are 16 & 17 and my career is going great...I was just about to finally obtain my freedom. Then another mouth comes along and goodbye to it all....

Since then I've changed my mind and am actually thrilled that I'm having another one. Maybe your mind will change as time goes along.

I love my 3 girls and little boy:

Mom to Jessica - 19 yrs old, Amber - 18 yrs old, Sebastian - 2 months
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December 15th, 2005, 05:20 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jul 2005
Posts: 2,217
You need to get some help. Maybe your feelings will change and maybe they won't. But it is better to get help either way. Who knows, maybe you will go through this whole pregnancy hating it and not wanting a baby and then you see your son or daughter and everything might change. I use to hate kids and seriously could not stand being around them. Since I have gotten pregnant those feelings have changed. And although mine was unplanned I am thrilled to be having a baby. If you hate kids so much then why didn't you get your tubes tide? Maybe think about it after this one...

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December 16th, 2005, 10:34 PM
Join Date: Dec 2005
Posts: 3
I wanted to have my uterus lining burned out unfortunately they wont do it if you don't already have kids and especially if you are 23. the drs keep telling me you'll change your mind.
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December 16th, 2005, 10:48 PM
Join Date: Dec 2005
Posts: 3
Thank you. you seem to be the only one that isn't telling me I have to or will for sure change my mind. I don't dislike all children I love my nieces and nephews, but here's the thing they go home with thier parents and I don't change diapers. It's not kids it's just babies. I always wanted to adopt one around the age of 4. I Never wanted any of my own. I just can't make my hubby understand that. And I can't seem to find a Dr. who believe me when I say that. every one I have talked to about sterilization tells me I too young to know what I want and will want kids someday and they wont be able to undo it. If a guy can go get it done without kids why do I have to have at least 2 before I can have it done? I can see myself being a good mom I just don't want my own kids. there are too many out there that need homes and love and the worlld is too overpopulated as it is. know any place that will let a 23 year old get sterilized please let me know.
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December 17th, 2005, 09:25 AM
Join Date: Oct 2005
Posts: 318
Wow.. I dont know what to say to your situation. You said no adoption and no abortion, so that sounds like you will be carrying the baby to term. Even with the way you feel please why you are deciding what to do make sure you take incrediable good care of yourself for the health of the baby. Like others have said the baby is innocent and did not ask to be born. So please do your prenantal check ups and eat well. Do the right things for the baby while you are trying to figure things out.

I had a friend in her early 30's who did not want children either. It took her another four years until her doctor would agree to have her sterilized. So she had the same trouble as you and she was a lot older.

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