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Forum: Unplanned Pregnancy


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December 16th, 2005, 12:08 PM
Join Date: Dec 2005
Posts: 1
Well, I'm trying to "vent" I have no one that I can talk to about this so here I am seeking the advice and listening ears of strangers... Please deal with me I just really need to get it all out
I am a mother of two boys my oldest is 6 1/2 and my youngest just turned 5 yesterday. I've been in a relationship for over 3 years with a wonderful man who although not the biological father of my two boys is as much a father as they've ever known. I recently decided what I wanted to do with my life and have gone back to school to persue a carrer in early childhood education. As far as children go... We have talked about our planns many times in the past He does not want to have children because we already have the two boys and well...kids are expensive I have flip flopped for awhile now on my preference some times I think i just want to finish school and get a job and I think about how much work a baby can be and other times I think about how much i'd love to have just one more( that would definatly be it for me) But he has apsolutly drawn the line he really doesn't want a baby and does not want to discuss it. In the past he has said that it is because he's young and if he did want to have a child it would be awhile from now and by that time the boys would be grown and it would be like starting all over again...and who wants to start all over! After a recent trip to my doctor I was taken off birth control because of high blood preassure. I was suppose to get the shot after my next period but I couldn't get there when I needed to so I was waiting until this month to get it. In the mean time my BF and I had a condom break on us we were both freeked out. With all the stress in our life I soon forgot about the break, I had told him from the begining no big deal...no way I was pregnant and i think I had partially convinced myself. Well here it is the week i'm suppose to get my period and it is MIA (i've always been regular before) .... I'm STRESSSED! I'm only two days late I know no big deal but I have found my self fantisising all day about being pregnant, decorating a nursery and having another baby...it's insane and then I start thinking about If I am pregnant how do I tell him?? I've convinced myself that he would be absolutly horrified! he doesn't want to have a baby.... Then on the other hand I think what if I'm not? I'm setting myself up for a fall because I realize I DO want to be pregnant! What am I suppose to do?
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December 16th, 2005, 12:43 PM
missy123's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Savannah GA
Posts: 13,418
You are not going to like what I have to say:

If he has flat out told you that he doesnt want any children then you either have to accept that and continue with your relationship or end the relationship and find someone to be with that wants to have more children like you do.


If you are pregnant now, that is a different story. Dont be suprised if he is not all that excited in the beginning. They dont change their minds that fast. I can only wish and pray for you that he is supportive of you and ends up feeling the same way as you do.

Keep us posted.

Pregnancy Loss April 2009, September 2010
CP 10/2008, 1/3/11 {missing my babies every single day}Mommy to 4 Children - 3 boys ages 22, 21 and 18 & baby Scarlett
After 2.5 years TTC with 4 losses our Family was given the gift of Miss Scarlett
Do not ever give up hope...

Miss Scarlett... Our miracle girl still brings happy tears to my eyes.

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December 21st, 2005, 11:04 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: West Virginia
Posts: 1,668
Get a pregnancy test so that you know for sure.

Each time I thought I was pregnant, I would fantasize too. I think that's normal....especially for someone who would like to have a baby deep down inside (and really, the average woman, too).

There are plenty of people who want to "start over". I have a 16 and 17 year old and am pregnant right now with my 3rd. The thing about this one is that I feel that I get a 2nd chance. I'm not saying that I was ever a bad mother (in fact, I think I'm a pretty good one) but all the mistakes I made in the past won't be made again....you know what I mean?

If your hubby is against it, there's nothing you can do...you certainly can't change his mind. Maybe you'll get lucky and he'll turn around if you actually are pregnant. Either way, you are the mother, and will ultimately be the one to deal with it (you can do it, don't ever think you can't!). Just remember (and remind him)....it takes two to make a baby.

I love my 3 girls and little boy:

Mom to Jessica - 19 yrs old, Amber - 18 yrs old, Sebastian - 2 months
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