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Forum: Unplanned Pregnancy


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January 20th, 2006, 10:53 AM
Join Date: Sep 2005
Posts: 78
Yesterday started off soooo well, I went to my first ultra sound appointment and saw my baby's heartbeat!! They determined by measurement that i am officially 5wks, 5 days preggers and my dd is Sept.18th/06 although according to my period my due date is Sept 16th/06....which one do i go by?

When I went to sleep last night and (SORRY, THIS IS TOO MUCH INFO BUT I HAVE TO SHARE!), while my boyfriend and I were...uh...u know...I bled all over the place. I tried to go to the hospital but I was there waiting for 6 hrs and they still didn't admit me yet...I was still in the waiting room. So I left and went to the dr today but he said there was nothing to worry about!? He didn't even really check anything. He did blood work and I guess I'll find out if my levels have doubled...It's gonna be so hard waiting those couple of days for the results. That didn't reassure me at all....there was so much blood and blood clots. I'm so scared.

The worse part is I think my bf was relieved b/c he thought there was a chance I'd be having a mc. He didn't even care. I feel like I'm going through this all alone. I'm losing my mind. When referring to the pregnancy, my bf calls it "YOUR CONDITION"...I'm starting to dislike him so much. I even saw pics in his phone of another woman doing some sexual favours but I couldn't see his face.....He said that his friend sent him the pics but why would his friend do this??? I know this is the least of my probs right now but I kept all this inside for soo long and now that I feel so scared to lose this baby, I just need to vent. I want him to care and I want him to want this baby but I don't see that happening.

Sorry for going on about this, I just have so much on my plate right now that I feel like I'm in a lose lose situation.

Thanks for listening/reading


The day you deliver, outside will be warm. Your baby will arrive in the afternoon.

After a labor lasting approximately 3 hours, your child, a girl, will be born. Your baby will weigh about 7 pounds, 15 ounces, and will be 18 inches long. This child will have light brown eyes and dark hair.
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January 20th, 2006, 04:06 PM
Mommy2Ethan's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: warwick, RI
Posts: 5,093
i know how you feel..i have been having complications through my whole pregnancy, and my b/f seemes not to care so much about anything. he did want it to be a miscarriage...but he has changed a little since the beggining. now he can feel the baby move and what not i think reality is set in....as for the pics on his phone.. my b/f has random pics of naked chicks on his phone all the time, but when i confront him its "oh someone sent them to me you shouldnt be mad your just insecure" HUH INSECURE? the same thing with porn on the pc and every thing REALLLY UPSETS ME but his answer is "oh i still love you dont be so insecure" I swear this is the only thing we fight about all the time. I personally think its disrespectful to you....and you should let him know that. as for the bleeding, i hope everything is ok!

Ethan Michael 4/13/2006 8 lbs 12 oz 19 inches
Hunter Evan 7/29/2010 9 lbs 1 oz 20 1/2 inches
~Having a baby on my chest being serenaded by my beating heart is nothing short of amazing...~

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January 20th, 2006, 06:27 PM
Telucero's Avatar Veteran
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Denver, Colorado
Posts: 409
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Jade, I had some bleeding on and off until my ninth week. My doctor was the same way, I think they react that way so you aren't worried, but I'm not sure they dont realize that we would rather be poked and prodded to make sure everything is ok. I was told not to have any sexual intercourse until I had gone two weeks without bleeding. I am now 13 weeks. The bleeding subsided and everything is great, the heart is beating, the legs are kicking and the arms are waving. I would get too concerned unless you start having some cramping with your bleeding, in that case, get yourself to the ER.

As for your b/f, I won't even go there, I am so fed up with my fiance, I would run out of room with that topic!

Keep us updated!!!
Tamara and AJ
<a href="http://www.TickerFactory.com/weight-loss/wkTNFrR/" target="_blank">

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January 20th, 2006, 08:14 PM
gtsscott's Avatar Veteran
Join Date: Nov 2005
Posts: 295
I think you should get rid of your boyfriends (yes, both of you) if it's a situation you don't like - if he's a jerk like it seems, and ESPECIALLY if he doesn't care about your "condition". That's sad!! I know it seems REALLY hard to go through it by yourself but it's SOOOO much better than going through it with a crappy boyfriend. Let us know about your results.[/b]

I agree 100%.........any man who is glad that his child could die, isn't worth wasting a breath over!
Proud to be an Aussie Mum

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January 21st, 2006, 12:19 PM
mommytutu's Avatar mom to Emma & Jacqueline
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Bradenton, Fl
Posts: 13,831
I agree with everyone else. You boyfriend sounds like a loser, and you really don't need that type of stress.

In general, a good human being would be upset if you might be having a miscarriage. The father shouldn't be glad, he should be torn apart!!

At least you still have all of us here to support you!!

I know a lot of women from my DDC that had LOTS of bleeding, including blood clots, and they continued on having healthy pregnancies.

I'm sending sticky dust and postitive thoughts your way!!!!!
Kayttie, in love with Shane, mom to Emma Brynn and Jacqueline Noel

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January 22nd, 2006, 10:19 AM
Join Date: Dec 2005
Posts: 141
Hi sweetie! (sorry this may be a long reply)

First off, if I were you, I'd start looking into another doctor. I'm beginning to keep my open for a new doctor all just because her secretary is a ****** and hung up on me last time I called and because I feel rushed when I see my OBGYN as every visit, she quickly checks me, says my uterus is at the size it's supposed to be and tells me "see you next month" as she's walking out of the office. Doesn't ask me if I have any questions or anything! You must be happy with the doctor you've chosen. If not, don't stick around! I'm getting so sick of people telling me I'm over exaggerating (because I'm hormonal )...Let's face it! These are our children we're talking about! And if we have a concern, or question, or anything about how our pregnancy is going, we need to be taken seriously! If you went to the emergency and was ignored for 6 hours and went to see your doctor, worried that you might have been miscarrying, you should expect him to do a little more than just pat you on the head and tell you not to worry. That's b.s.!!!!! A simple little blood test, shoo's you out of the office, and that's it??!! No way honey, I'd be getting a second opinion!

Page 122 of What to Expect When You're Expecting (yes, ok I'm a nerd!!) :
"When not to worry... Light pink spotting after intercourse. A pregnant woman's cervix becomes more
tender and engorged with blood vessels as the pregnancy pregresses, and occasionally becomes
irritated during intercourse, causing some slight bleeding. This type of bleeding is common and
usually doesn't indicate a problem unless the bleeding becomes heavy or is accompanied by
Tell your practitionner about any postintercourse spotting.
Page 123 of the same book:
When to get emergency medical attention: When you pass clots or grayish or pink material...

This is why your docs need to take you seriously. Because your concerns are REAL. I'm so upset for you, I'm almost in tears. I don't think you were treated appropriately.

As for your b/f... Oh lordy, that's a whole other issue in itself. I've come to determine throughout the course of my pregnancy that men are totally different creatures than us women! This whole pregnancy was unexpected, so he's scared. That's normal. You're having complications now and he may be feeling a bit of relief because this will sort of "get him off the hook" so to speak. I'm not saying this is right, but I'm saying this is probably what's going on in his head, because it goes on in a lot of guys heads who are unexpectedly going to be daddy's all of a sudden. In fact, I spoke to my b/f about that, and asked him if at the beginning when he was scared and unsure about this whole thing, if I were to have miscarried, if he would have felt relieved...and he said in a way yes, because there was a time that he thought maybe an abortion was the best decision, and a miscarriage would have been a "nicer" way of getting the abortion. In other words, nature's way of doing it. But he did quickly say that he still would have been upset losing the baby becasue it's his baby too. Now however, he would be devastated!

Ok all this to say that maybe your b/f is sort of going though these same emotions. But all of his emotional crap aside, the fact that you're scared about this, and yet he's not even trying to be supportive or show a little compassion about it, is a bad sign. Regardless of him thinking that a m/c is an easy way out of this whole thing, he still should be supportive and make you feel like he's there for you no matter what. He doesn't seem to be doing this. If he's upsetting you, especially during this critical time in your pregnancy, it's time you put a stop to it. Even with the whole "porn" on his phone...I hope you don't mind but I read your post to my b/f and when I got to the part where your man said it was his friend who sent that to him, my b/f right away said "yeah, whatever!"
I don't know. I'm not saying that he's being unfaithful to you, because I just don't know. But he's absolutely disrespecting you by even having that sort of crap on his phone. You confronted him about it, and made it clear that you didn't like it, but the fact that he just brushes it off is not something you should deal with.
You may both just need some time apart. Go stay at your parents' for a week, or at a friends, or even if you can, get a hotel for a little while to sort through your feelings.

You're in an extremely fragile state right now, so don't take this lightly. This is your life, and most importantly your "beaner's" life. You don't have to listen to any of my advice, it's just there in case you want it, but please make sure you get away from anything that may upset you and cause stress. You don't need anymore bleeding or anything. Take care! and if you ever need to talk, you can always email me anytime! [email protected]

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January 22nd, 2006, 03:10 PM
missy123's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Savannah GA
Posts: 13,418
Hi Jade
How are you doing? Are you ok?

Pregnancy Loss April 2009, September 2010
CP 10/2008, 1/3/11 {missing my babies every single day}Mommy to 4 Children - 3 boys ages 22, 21 and 18 & baby Scarlett
After 2.5 years TTC with 4 losses our Family was given the gift of Miss Scarlett
Do not ever give up hope...

Miss Scarlett... Our miracle girl still brings happy tears to my eyes.

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January 22nd, 2006, 09:48 PM
Join Date: Sep 2005
Posts: 78
Hey guys!

Thanks for the replies...i'm sick of waiting for results from the doctor and am freaking out right now....I'm on my way out to the ER...I asked my BF if he was going to take me and get this....HE SAID "OH I CAN'T RIGHT NOW!"...he said he has to go to work in the morning and If I was seriously worried about this, I should have went to the hospital when it first happened....OK, FIRST OF ALL, I DID GO BUT THE WAIT WAS TOO LONG and why doesn't he care??? This is not just my problem, it is his baby that could be in trouble but he is to much of a jack*$#@ to realize that. So now it is almost midnight and I have to take a bus or cab by myself to the hospital because my "great" BF crashed my car. I'm really afraid of what they're gonna tell me. Keep your fingers crossed for me please....


The day you deliver, outside will be warm. Your baby will arrive in the afternoon.

After a labor lasting approximately 3 hours, your child, a girl, will be born. Your baby will weigh about 7 pounds, 15 ounces, and will be 18 inches long. This child will have light brown eyes and dark hair.
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January 22nd, 2006, 11:39 PM
Join Date: Dec 2005
Posts: 141
Good luck to you and beaner! I'm definately going to be thinking of you guys and keeping my fingers crossed that all works out!
As for when you get back home, I'd honestly pack a bag with a few changes of clothes and stay at a friend's or family's place. He needs to be shown that you're not f*cking around anymore with this crap he's dishing out. Maybe when he's sitting at home and you and the baby aren't there with him, he'll get the picture. But at this point, his behaviour is unacceptable. You know, it's bad enough he's willing to risk your baby's life, but he's risking your health too, and that's not a good sign, honey. Men take a lot longer than women to bond with children. I'm not saying this is ok by any means, but it's just a fact. However, he's been with you and has developed a relationship with you, yet he's willing to risk your health (infection, hemmorage, ect...)??? And for what?? Because he's scared about having a baby? Not worth it deary! Because if it came down to it, and you need immediate medical attention because of bleeding or whatever (i'm praying that that doesn't happen for you or beaner), and he refused to take you, it's just not worth the risk to even give him that chance to do that to you once.

I hope for your sake that everything does well. I hope that the bleeding was nothing, and that everything is peachy keen with your little jellybean!!!
Take care of you! please update and let us know.

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