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Forum: Unplanned Pregnancy


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January 27th, 2006, 11:00 AM
rachel_claire's Avatar Veteran
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Location: Chester, New Hampshire
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Boy do I have a good story for you all!
So here I am, 23 weeks pregnant with my first child, and I think about how it all started. I'm 20 years old and my husband, Ray, is 29....quite the difference.
How it all started was when I was working for a Saturn dealership selling cars (which I do not recommend if you want to keep any sanity you have left) and Ray is a mechanic there. We met in April, 2005 and actually started spending time together in June. We had no intentions of being in a serious relationship, which I think was the foundation for a healthy marriage. I have no expectations of him and he has none for me. We are like best friends and we always think on the same level as one another.
Anyway, we were hanging out in June (not in a relationship) but we were so happy and we had so much fun together, everyone was convinced we were perfect for eachother. Then came the day I found out I was pregnant...the middle of September...that's only 5 months from the time I even MET him. I was so worried that it would screw up our situation (I say situation because we weren't technically together) I had no idea how to tell him. I mean, honestly, we just met eachother that year and we weren't even dating...what would I do? I couldn't have another abortion, that would ruin my life and our friendship. I thought that even if I did choose to keep the baby, I would end up doing it all alone... But I had to tell him, so I sat him down one night and told him in a fit of tears and confusion. I had no idea what he would say, if he would be mad at me, or sad, or not care at all.
As soon as I told him, he got the biggest smile on his face and he just took me in his arms and told me that he was happy and he would support whatever decision I made. He said that he knew it was a selfish thing but he wanted me to keep the baby but even if I didn't he would be there for me. A few days later I told him that he was going to be a father and that was the first time he said "I love You". My heart sank and I was completely head-over-heels for him from that moment on.
I wasn't planning on getting married, already so much has happened to me...I mean, I meet the guy in April and get pregnant in August! Once I told my mother I was pregnant and keeping him, the first thing she said was "Is he gonna marry you?" I just said to her, one step at a time...and left it at that. Sure enough, he asked me after a very expensive italian dinner and a walk by a waterfall. Here's the funny thing, He asked me on a Sunday, and exactly one week later, Sunday, October 2nd, we were married!!! Hey, time is of the essence!!!! Our wedding was beautiful. It took place on my mothers 8 acre farm and it had a nice Autumn theme. It was simple with maybe 30 guests, but it was the best day of my life!
Ray is the most amazing man I have ever met. He treats me like a GODDESS I was amazed at how he stepped up to the plate and took care of me. I don't have to work, he waits on me hand and foot, I just couldn't believe I found a man that many DREAM of. To this day, we are the happiest we've ever been and I cannot wait to see how he is with our son.
I just wanted to share that with you because it's crazy how all this happened. Alot of people had doubts about our marriage and said we would never make it, but I think the way it all happened and how it started out as a great friendship became the foundation for a great marriage. Thanks for reading this, it is pretty long, but these things don't happen every day, right??
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January 27th, 2006, 12:02 PM
Join Date: Dec 2005
Posts: 141

Well, I'm so happy for you! Not many luck out the way you did! All your friends were right! He is perfect for you ! You're perfect for eachother! My little one is kicking with excitement for you! (also, maybe because I read your story and shed a few tears and little one is joining me in the emotion!! )

My man and I got preggers 5 months into our relationship (only 5 1/2 months after we met, just like you guys almost!!) and he's been great about this baby. Though I have to admit, I still dont' have ring on my finger (keeping my fingers crossed that someday I will!!) and he's not the most sensitive or understanding of people.
But he loves me and loves this baby, and treats me well, and I love him right back, so that's more than what I could ask for.

Good luck to you and your family!!

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January 27th, 2006, 12:34 PM
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and Congrats! That's a great story!!! I hope you stick around and let us know how your pregnancy goes.
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January 27th, 2006, 06:02 PM
NHmom2two's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Location: New Hampshire
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I'm sort of a lurker here.... But I just had to comment on your story! It is very similar to my own.... but put it at nine months, and I was going through a messy divorce! I met Keith, we dated for nine months, and I got pregnant with Gabby. She is now 3, and has a little brother to boot!! Keith and I got officially engaged almost a year ago, and we plan on getting married next year. So see.... when you meet the right guy it doesn't matter how long you know him... you can still have a happy ending. I would post the whole story, its sort of sweet...but I don't want to hijack your post!
My little blog

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January 29th, 2006, 09:34 AM
JuneBug2006's Avatar Forever missing Gracie
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Vancouver Island, BC
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Thanks for sharing your stories......

Basically mine goes like this:

Ryan and I have been together for nearly 3 years. We are not quite "engaged" but have promise rings on our fingers and have planned to get married in about 2.5 years.............
(He has a divorce to deal with in the meantime; they have been separated for 3 years but legally only for about 7-8 months and have to wait a year for the divorce to go through).........

Although this pregnancy wasn't exactly "planned", it was definately in our future.
I am currently finishing up 2 university degrees and will be done in about 1.5 years from now.
We decided that yes, we want children, but wanted to start trying in about 1.5-2 years. In that time we would have already gotten married and hopefully bought our first home together......

So things got reversed... He was a bit stressed out when I first told him (which was minutes after the test was done) but he had good cause to feel that way.
He has 1 biological daughter from a previous "short" relationship. She is 12 years old and he only met her about 3 years ago, although had been paying child support for her since he found out about her when she was quite young.......
When he got married, the woman already had 2 boys from a previous relationship and he basically raised them for 9 years...... Well, now that they are separated (because she cheated on him), she is now going after HIM for child support and stopping the $50 a month payments she gets from the biological father..........

So basically my man is scared about the outcome of the other situations and is scared that if she nails him for 2 kids (about $600 here in Canada), then we will have nothing left for ourselves to raise our little one........... (He already pays $300 for his daughter)...........

We didn't talk about the pregnancy for about 1.5 months really.......... And then someone caught me off-guard and asked me how I was feeling (in front of Ryan).....
Ryan did not know at that point that anyone had known about the pregnancy;.......
And basically as soon as we got in to our house, he apologized for not really "being there" and we talked about everything that was bothering us and how to fix it......

So everything is great now and we have overcome the issues that we had in the beginning and now Ryan is very happy that Junebug is coming....
We knew that day we met (we have been inseparable ever since), that we are the ones for eachother and we would be together forever........
So we just don't worry about anything now.....
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January 29th, 2006, 09:52 AM
rachel_claire's Avatar Veteran
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thank u all for sharing your stories, it's interesting how a pregnancy comes about, but, we play the cards we're dealt, right?
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