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mixed emotions

Forum: Unplanned Pregnancy


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February 17th, 2006, 09:10 PM
Mom2DyJessAva's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: chicopee ma
Posts: 15,513
ok so one minute im totally pissed off at my boyfriend because he sometimes makes me feel like im ruining his life and im making him so unhappy and the fact that i feel alone in this pregnancy because im excited and he isnt.. but its like when were together all those thoughts just leave my head!..its like i love this guy so much id do anything (except one thing-to take an innocent babys life.i would never of gotten an abortion)..the things i have experienced in the past and all the good times makes me feel alot better...maybe im over reacting but maybe im not..i feel guilty because i feel like im selfish to want him to love our unborn baby like he loved his daughter when she wasnt born..two different situations one was planned and ours werent..but ###### when im with him and things just totally change and im in love with him...it must be the hormones pregnancy is doing to me right? making me so pissed off at one time and so happy at another..everyones advice is great and im def going to follow them..my baby deserves the best out of life and my baby deserves to have a loving dad so im def not going to let that go...i no him really good and i no he wouldnt just up and leave our child..but everything i have to go through right now is it all worth it in the end? i cant wait to be able to hold the baby for the first time and to watch it grow..all i no is i dont think ill be having anymore..i wouldnt be able to go through another pregnancy if he acted the same way he does this one...im crazy right! its ok u can say it..my brain is all confused..im like all over the place..and the funny thing about it is im never like this!

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February 17th, 2006, 09:20 PM
lilmamaw2's Avatar Veteran
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Omaha Nebraska
Posts: 246
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i feel for you, but i think he'll come around try not to let him get you to down to much but hay one thing to look forward to is you get to find out the sex of the baby soon!!!!!and just try to think of happy stuff like that when you start to feel like he's blaming you for his problems sorry i cant be of much help but i hope things get better
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February 18th, 2006, 10:04 AM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Winnipeg
Posts: 13,011
BIG HUGS Sweetie...I feel so bad for you.
Does he ever get time with his daughter now? (I know you said his ex is being a cow) If so, have you talked to him about you guys telling her the news? If he doesn't like this idea, maybe you could ask him what he thinks he'll accomplish by keeping the baby a secret from her. This may just open up his eyes. Maybe tell him "So by lying to your daughter and keeping her from knowing she's going to be a big sister is your way of helping her and sparing her feelings? How do you think she'll feel when she does find out about the baby? How betrayed to you think she's going to be then?"
To tell you the truth, it absolutely sounds like the only thing keeping him from being happy about your baby together is his daughter...and of course this isn't to say it's her fault in any way...I mean, she's seven (right?), so how could this be her fault? It's him being so scared of how she'll take it...maybe he's scared that if she gets mad at him for it, he'll see her even less! Who knows what's going on in his head!! But to talk to him and to let him know that keeping secrets and important life events away from his little girl is going to screw things up worse for him than if he were to just tell her the truth and get her as prepared as he can. Once she starts to get excited about the baby (expecially once you guys find out the sex and she learns if it'll be a brother or sister that she's getting) then he'll be more relaxed and won't feel guilty about rubbing your tummy or smiling about something new and exciting that just happened with the baby. What I think you should concentrate on the most here with him, is dealing with his guilt and fear of what a new baby will do to his daughter and their relationship together and then in turn how that will affect the way he feels about the new baby. Find that book, give it to him and tell him that if he wants to keep you, he needs to read it. Start being more open and honest with him about how you feel. Also, maybe you can start to put thoughts in head about how much fun and exciting it'll be to see his daughter with the new baby. Ask him things like "what do you look forward to the most when it comes to introducing "daughter" to baby?" See what he comes up with...
Hope this helps!! I truly think the book will do him some good.

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