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Bad day... REALLY LONG!!!

Forum: Unplanned Pregnancy


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February 25th, 2006, 11:58 AM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Winnipeg
Posts: 13,011
Surprise surprise! I'm having a crappy day. It started off sooooo well!!! This may be way TMI, but I got lucky this morning!! woohooo!!! It's the first time in like a month (I'm actually not exaggerating!!)!!
Well, anyways, so I was obviously in a good mood after that! I went and took a nice warm bath to pamper myself after, did my hair all nice, put on my most body flattering outfit...All because I was feeling great, but it just all went to crap!

His mom is in town...that should say it all! jk. No but seriously, I was ACTUALLY being optomistic about this visit, especially after this morning!! But the minute I saw her (keep in mind she hasn't seen me since I was like 15-16 weeks and am now 25+) first thing out of her mouth instead of hi was "oh, you're not THAT big...Everyone made a big deal about how much you were showing, but really it's not..." (ok, first thing she does to take away from it)...Ok, then I decide to brag a little to make myself feel better and tell her that I'm only 1 pound over my original pre-pregnancy weight...Yup, instead of just saying "oh wow!!" she says "well THAT'S not good at all!" So I tried explaining how I lost weight at the begining and blablabla but she wasn't really receptive to that, she kept looking at me like I was doing something wrong and especially with the tone of her voice....(ok, second thing she does to take away from being positive)...Then, right after, my b/f tells me how she was saying that our changing table isn't good enough! So she goes into how ours is dangerous because it's not big enough and the baby will hurt "itself", and that for HER boys she had a bigger one and it was better blablabla... So instead of getting my back up, I just humoured it, and said, ok we'll look into a bigger one if this one becomes a prob....but she went on and on about it !! (ok, so third thing to be negative)...then she kept referring to the baby as "it" (which isn't bad if we had no idea about the sex...even then I prefer if ppl say "him or her" or just "the baby"...it doesn't sound mean that way) and she just kept saying "it" over and over again, so my b/f FINALLY said, "mom, it's not an "it" " and her reponse "yes it is! It's an IT until it's born..." (ok, so who cares about us telling her it was a girl, and now the fourth thing she does to piss me off and be cold about it)...here's the kicker!! This was all in the matter of
10-15 MINUTES!!!! Then she got in the shower and was out the door.
K, so the fact that I actually was being positive about her being here, just all went to crap in 10 minutes!!!

So then, my b/f and I went grocery shopping...I was already a little sensitive, and so right away, he starts making faces at the price of this fruit salad that I wanted, so I just said "fine!" and put them back....then it was like everything that I wanted, he didn't like so I was getting frustrated because he wasn't making an effort to not get the things that I didn't want or didn't like to save on some money, so needless to say I just felt like I was the only one making the effort to respect our budget by not getting something if we BOTH didn't want it. Then fine whatever, after that he was just being an a**!! He was just giving me attitude and like, making comments about EVERYTHING I said!! Kind of like he was just trying to prove some sort of point about something...I dunno...So finally, he just make his last fricken comment, and so I just walked away and was like "ok, FINE! sorry for saying anythign!" and started crying a bit in the stupid grocery store because he was being a jerk. Then when he sees me tearing up, he actually continues to be a jerk!!! So we get home, put away the groceries, and then he just goes to take a nap and doesn't even talk to me.
It just makes me feel like he just completely forgot about this morning, and didn't give me any sort affection, or patience sort of in return later in the day...I'm really upset about it. I know I'm being more emotional than I would if I weren't pregnant, but he always does this to me!! I get a little moody or frustrated, or both, and he just totally turns into a big fat jerk rather than just trying something different for once, like just shrug it off, or have a bit of patience with me considering I'm carrying his baby.

I just feel sooooo bloody depressed right now because I ACTUALLY thought this visit wouldn't be so bad...But it's starting off just as bad as ever, and especially after I let all my guards down, him and I got intimate, and I totally thought it would be good for us, considering we haven't in forever! But no, of course not. I don't know why I even bother anymore. I know it sounds kind of stupid to expect him to treat me nicely all day just because I put out, but in some way, is it really that unreasonable? I mean, if I'm making the effort to give him what he needs emotionally and physically, is it so much to ask for him to make the effort to give me what I need too?

God! And of course, now I'm all paranoid that he's gonna come snooping on this site to see if I wrote anything bad about his mom again!!! I wish we could swear on here sometimes because then I'd end this post telling him where to shove it, just in case he does end up reading this!! I just don't know what to do anymore....oh! and I was conned into making dinner tonight, so I told him I was going to make spaghetti, which he loves, and it's something I would make for anyone in MY family and it's never been a problem...and he just sort of turned up his nose, and said "well...maybe, we'll see...." What? Like spaghetti isn't bloody good enough for you anymore? Almost like as if it wasn't elaborate enough for our "company". Like, what the hell was THAT? He's NEVER EVER EVER turned up his nose to ANYTHING I've ever made, or suggested making, because he can't cook at all !! Ok well fine! If my dinner isn't bloody well good enough for his snobby self, or his family or whatever, then cook yourself buddy!!!! I told my sister about what I was making and she just said "oh, yummy! that sounds good!!" What's his stupid, big, fat PROBLEM!!!!!
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February 25th, 2006, 12:35 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: San Angelo, Texas
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I feel your pain today, I really do! It must be "Men Be A**Holes Day". First of all, just ignore your stupid MIL. She sounds like a complete b****. MIL just make pregnancy even worse. They should just ban them from being around pregnant daughter in laws. Seriously.
And my fiance is being the biggest d*** in the world today!!! Grrr. (Read my post when you get a chance) Do men not understand that their pregnant gf's are HORMONAL and that they need more love and affection not less??? Ugh!!! I wish I could give you more comforting advice, but I'm just so mad at my own stupid fiance that I can't!! Hope your day gets better though!!
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February 25th, 2006, 01:17 PM
Mom2DyJessAva's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: chicopee ma
Posts: 15,513

i give u a ton of credit for trying 2 be nice to your boyfriends mother..(sorry to say) but she seems like a real jerk to me..she knows how it feels to be pregnant and she should understand what your going through and not to say negative things around you...if i was you every time she kept saying "it" i would of said "her" right after she said it..your boyfriend needs to stop being a mommys boy when she is around and actually be nice to you..he should show and let her no that he loves u and the baby a ton and just because his mom is around doesnt mean he should change and become a real jerk..im sorry your day turned out bad and hopefully it gets better...if he has a problem with your cooking then id make him suffer for a while and have him cook for hisself even if he cant cook butter noodles (hehe)..he needs to understand that you and the baby should come first now...im not saying to leave his mother out of the picture or to have him not pay any attention to her but most of his attention should be on u! even if its little things like not being a jerk and just do the little things that count..i hope his mother doesnt stay to long for your sake..i hope things get better for you hun! and heck let him read the post if he wants.. well if he can figure it out that its u! hehe...he should hear how he is really being towards you..you could talk to him about it at night time when his mom is sleeping so she wont hear whats going on...i wish u the best of luck!! please let us no how it goes!

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February 25th, 2006, 05:09 PM
jennyn's Avatar Veteran
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incoming. . .
kudos on trying to be nice. you're a bigger person than i am, seriously. i can't offer any advice, because i honestly would have killed both of them way before now! hang in there!
and congratulations on getting lucky! i am very jealous. the last time i got lucky was 3 december. . . i'm not sure i even remember how sex works anymore
Jenny (22), mama to Zoe (3.5) and Selene (5 mo), and fiancee to Dale (22)!
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February 26th, 2006, 11:48 AM
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I'm sorry hun! *hugs*

Your MIL is so RIDICULOUS. I would've slapped her...

And spaghetti is good. What the hell is up with your man? Grrr.... males are stupid sometimes!
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February 26th, 2006, 12:31 PM
jewll27's Avatar Veteran
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I'm so sorry that he and the mom were such a-holes!!! You deserve better than that!! And personally, I dont think crying in the grocery store after his mom and he were such jerks should be equated to you being pregnant! I would do that now and Im not pregnant!! A person can only take someone being like so much...

I'll come over for spaghetti anytime!!

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February 27th, 2006, 02:14 PM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Winnipeg
Posts: 13,011
Hey girls, thanks for all your support. I know I always go on and on about him and his mom...You guys have been so patient in listening! Thanks!
Well here's an update...(I'll try to keep it short):

Well I found out from my sister that the woman was just as bad with her too on Friday when they had dinner together, which pisses me off even more because my sister doesn't deserve to be teated like that...We also went out for dinner last night, my mom came along too. Well I heard nothing but comments about how I have such horrible eating habits, how I'm spoiled and how I'm lazy.

You know, what the **** does she care about my eating habits and well being anyways? When has she ever called to ask how I was doing when I was dying with morning sickness and was losing all of that weight that she now seem to care so much about? Where the **** were you then? Not only this, but who the hell is she to judge me on how I eat after being present for only two bloody meals? At least my mom knew why I wasn't able to finish my chicken wings at the restaurant yesterday....because she's BEEN there and was there during so many times where just the sight or smell of chicken has sent me running to the bathroom about to hurl. But even with that, NO ONE stood up for me at the table! Everyone including my mom just sat there! I was the only one who dared say anything! I mean, my b/f has seen me eat meals bigger than what he could eat, yet do you think just once would he back me up in saying "Mom, trust me, she eats! I've seen her!"
And no one said a g/d thing when she called me spoiled and lazy for making one simple comment about how I prefer my early shifts (8:30-4:30) at work over my later ones (10:00-6:00). Does that really deserve to be called lazy and spoiled?? And I know ###### well I can't say a thing about it to my b/f because she sooooo very conveniently made every comment (as ****ing repetitive and harsh as they were) in a joking sort of tone, so his response will just be "get over it, she was joking"
Does this family just not get it? To say something once, maybe twice, ok, it can be brushed off as just a joke...but when the "joke" runs for over 2 hours during one meal, it's not a joke anymore! Her so called "jokes" are a reflexion of her real thoughts, opinions, and feelings. Am I the only one who sees it?
I hate this! I'm stuck with it forever whether I like it or not....I just want to break down and cry and make it all go away, but I would never, because if this is the sacrifice I have to make to be Fiona's mommy, I'll do it, along with anything else I have to do or put up with. Fiona is the only one really getting me through this. She's soooo little, but guys, she's my rock...my life. More than my b/f will ever be. She kicks me when his mom pisses me off, almost to remind me that she's there for me, and I need to be strong for her. She's my angel.
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February 27th, 2006, 02:53 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: West Virginia
Posts: 1,668
Oh dear oh dear oh dear....

I have been reading your posts for awhile now and I always feel sorry for you to have to go through the crap that you go through. I can relate to you in a lot of ways....

The thing is sweetie....I know this is tough, but for your baby's sake, your going to have to learn to let things roll off your back because you cannot change them. I know it's hard....and it seems like difficult to follow advice....but that's what I had to do to get some peace between me and my inlaws. Since I stopped letting it bother me and worried only about me and my own....I've become a much happier person. Thier opinions are worthless to me....and the only time I listen is when I think its something I need to know. You know, it always sounds like your MIL is trying to sabotage your relationship with bf.....it's a terrible thing but a LOT of moms do that....its so sad.

Good for you on how you feel about Fiona....but don't forget that she can also benefit from her grandma as well...no matter how idiotic and silly she seems. Fiona will be able to sense the animosity....nip it in the bud before she is born so that she can get the most benefit (from what I've read, his mom isn't a bad person or bad influence....it just sounds like there are lots of issues between the two of you (well, three with bf) - and she's nasty to you....which will have to - and might, once Fiona is born - change, too).

Good luck to you....I hope that someday you can find peace in your family like I did (though there are still lots of days where they p*ss me off, it sure isn't as bad as it was years ago).

I love my 3 girls and little boy:

Mom to Jessica - 19 yrs old, Amber - 18 yrs old, Sebastian - 2 months
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