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I dont no whether to have this baby or not! im so confused!

Forum: Unplanned Pregnancy


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March 8th, 2006, 10:33 AM
Join Date: Mar 2006
Posts: 3
Hiya guys,

i am so scared becuase i am pregnant and it is totally unplanned! i just dont feel like this is my life. i feel in denial and i really dont know wat to do. i feel like i have been so dumb. i have been the dumbest person in the world becuase me and my boyfriend thought it would be okay to use the pull-out technique when we didnt have a condom and now im pregnant. i cant beleive how stupid ive been.
im the worst person at making decisions in the world and now ive got the biggest one of all to make. im only 19 and if i have this baby it feels as if my life will be over. i really want a child so much. it is something i definatly see in my future but not right now! and not with this guy. We have only been going out for about a month! And im at Uni! i havent told anyone yet. i feel like a storm cloud is hanging over me. i cant sleep and i cant think. i start thinking about this problem when i should be concentrating in class! its already wrecking my life and i feel totally lost. i felt like this is the sort of thing that would never happen to me. For that thought and my stupid actions i feel even dumber and foolish and ashamed. i cant tell my family. And im scared ill go down in some of my friends opinions too.
im going to tell one of my friends because when we were younger we talked about what we would do if we ever got pregnant to young. And we both said straight away we'd have an abortion for sure. i know she still feels that way so strongly so she wont judge me if i have an abortion.
im so scared though. i always feel like i do the wrong thing when at the time it seems like the right thing to do. What if i make that mistake again?

Please help me and give me ur support and advice i will value it greatly
katy xx[/b]
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March 8th, 2006, 11:07 AM
Join Date: Mar 2006
Posts: 3

First of all, stop thinking that you're stupid or dumb. From your posting, you appear to be quite an intelligent young woman so don't feel that way about yourself.

I agree with the other posters. Find a good counselor at school or another trusted adult. I don't think your friend is a very good source of advice since she's never been in your situation. Also, I think you should tell your parents as soon as possible. I can't imagine how scared you must be, but they really need to know so they can support you.

I am a mommy of a 4 year old daughter through open adoption. Her birthmom went to go have an abortion with her, but THANK GOD, she couldn't go through with it. Because of this extraordinary woman, I'm now a mother and wouldn't be without her. She told me that placing her baby was the hardest thing she had ever done, but is content and happy with her decision. She is now a new mommy herself and is enjoying this new chapter in her life. After the birth, when we were in her state, we met several of her friends, as well as family. They were very posititve and admiring of the strength that she had and were extrememly supportive of her. Please know, I'm not trying to steer you in the direction of adoption. It's a personal choice of yours. Don't just decide adoption because you want to give a couple a baby they so desperately want, decide for yourself and your child.

Also, you need to think about the possibility of raising your child. Maybe your parents will help you. If you want to do it, do it! I know you can.

Everyone is entitled to their own beliefs and opinions, but I'm begging you to reconsider abortion.

No matter how you look at it, you're going to be a mother. Mothers have to think about the best interest of their children at all times, and I know that you will make the decision that is best for you and your baby.

If you need to talk or just want someone to listen, please im or email me at [email protected].

I pray that God will give you peace and show you the direction in which you should go.

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March 8th, 2006, 05:32 PM
Super Mommy
Join Date: Sep 2005
Posts: 500
I know that this is my opinion and my opinion only and a lot of people won't agree with me but PLEASE DON'T HAVE AN ABORTION
I know you feel you have made a huge mistake and can only imagine how alone and scared you must be. If you don't want a child now that is fine to feel that way but there are a lot of other families out there who want a child sooooo desperately and cannot have a child of their own. You can give the child up for adoption and go on about your life. You are so young and you have to think that you may regret such a drastic decision later on down the road. At least if you give this child up for adoption you could feel at peace with your decision for the rest of your life in knowing that you would have given such great joy and happiness to a lot of people. I personally believe that every child is meant to be and has a purpose in this world. It would be a long nine months for you but I just had a baby in December and believe me it goes by in the blink of an eye when you look back on it and hopefully you could find friends/family to support you in your decision. Yes family may seem angry/disappointed at first but I'm sure that in the end they would support you and be there for you.
Please think long and hard about your decision. Only you can make this decision but just keep in mind that your mother chose to have you she chose life. Please oh please think about doing the same.
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