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How do I tell him?

Forum: Unplanned Pregnancy


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June 30th, 2009, 10:20 PM
star shaped's Avatar Regular
Join Date: Jun 2009
Posts: 66
I just took a pregnancy test last night. It came back positive, but I already had a very strong feeling that I was pregnant. I hadn't told anyone before I took the test, and I still haven't told anyone. This is very unexpected. I honestly don't know how to go about telling the father. He's technically still my boyfriend, but we've sort of been having an on-again, off-again thing going on lately. We just haven't been on the best of terms, which is why it's especially difficult for me to tell him. I talked to him today about something really trivial and we argued for half an hour over it, so I'm scared to bring this up. I know he won't take it well.
I know nobody here can solve my problem or make it much easier, but I guess I just need support. I haven't told anyone that I'm pregnant yet. I haven't even told my best friend because I feel like the father should be the first person I tell in "real life." Any helpful suggestions would be very nice.
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July 1st, 2009, 08:35 AM
sunshine411's Avatar Let's go MAVS!!!!
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Where everything is bigger....
Posts: 5,894
Honestly, I can tell you, get your feelings and thoughts together before you try to bring in his. Im not saying dont consider his, I dont believe in that at all. But its easier to talk and discuss things if you know how you feel and what you want first, rather than trying to sort out your own thoughts and feelings while dealing with his.

Talk to him. Thats my best advice. Give him a chance and see what he says. Know what you want, tell him what you want, ask him what he wants. Talk, alot. Its not a small discussion, so dont let it be one. Give yourself and him a few days to let it all sink in and really think. Then talk some more. Discuss everything and dont hold back about how you feel and what you want. Give him that same respect. He might be excited, he might be mad, he might be scared. These are all valid feelings and you and him both have a right to them. Remember that most.

Good Luck and I hope everything works out.!!
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July 1st, 2009, 09:30 AM
star shaped's Avatar Regular
Join Date: Jun 2009
Posts: 66
Thanks. Haha, will I be able to get my thoughts and feelings together about this in time to tell him before the baby's born? I'm a complete mess over it. But you're right, it'll probably be easier to tell him and discuss it if I've taken the time to get my own thoughts together. I'm sure anything else would just lead to more arguing, since we do that a lot recently anyway.
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July 1st, 2009, 09:40 AM
sunshine411's Avatar Let's go MAVS!!!!
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Where everything is bigger....
Posts: 5,894
believe me, ive BTDT, completely, arguing and all.

We each took our own time and came back together to talk later. We have a wonderful relationship still and an adorable 8 month old too boot.

Good Luck.
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July 30th, 2009, 08:48 PM
pictureunrelated's Avatar Veteran
Join Date: Jun 2009
Posts: 435
As some others said, just take a little time to get your own thoughts together. Make sure you know what you want to do, since sometimes men are...well.....terrible lol and they try to talk you into/out of things,etc. But as long as you know what you want to do, everything will work out. The only real advice I can give is make sure you don't delay it for long. From what I've seen that (sometimes) leaves men feeling betrayed that they didn't know earlier. Especially if other people find out before him, but it sounds like you agree with that already.

Good luck and just try and understand that if it doesnt go the way you would hoped give him some time. Its pretty overwhelming and hopefully he will come around.

Either way though, you are stronger than you even know and its amazing how you can get sh*t done when you really need to step up and do it! We are women, hear us roar! lol
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July 30th, 2009, 08:56 PM
Join Date: Jul 2009
Posts: 27
In a txt haha.j/k . No one knows how the babies father will react when you have an unexpected pregnancy . It can go ether way figure out how you feel about it first . take some time for you to just relax like sunshine said its not a small discussion. But its always better when your in a well prepared mental state. I don't know if you have any other children but lol its just a baby not the end of the world and if you get a bad reaction from him stay strong and he will see that. Best of luck to you.

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July 30th, 2009, 09:21 PM
HippieLove's Avatar Modern Day Brady Bunch
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Down Under
Posts: 21,233
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Good luck sweetie

♥ Isla Rae Due August 28th

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July 30th, 2009, 09:26 PM
3and_justme's Avatar super special mommy
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: ohio
Posts: 821
well I feel you on this subject I had to just tell my "friend" that we are now expecting & we dont have the kind of relationship that every girl dreams of... but its his baby & I felt the need to inform him, regardless of his feelings about it... I had called/left messages to stop over & after the 2nd no responce I decided to send him a letter, that way I figured he has a hard copy of what I needed to say... I know he will go thru alot of different emotions but I can only hope & pray that he will be accepting of our child, but with or without him I can provide & love this child unconditionally... that I know for certain!! Reid is a good man, a family oriented person so I think that over time he will be accepting of fatherhood-- but it has to be on his own acceptence... I just told him I just want us to remain close friends thru it all & I want him to share in this wonderful experience of having a child, because it is one of lifes best blessings... best of luck ~ listen to your heart!

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