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Frustrated with ppl telling me what to do!!

Forum: Unplanned Pregnancy


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March 8th, 2006, 12:31 PM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Winnipeg
Posts: 13,011
Hey! I've been feeling down in the dumps lately and need to vent about it (also advice never hurts!!)

I'm the kind of person who likes to have things organized and figured out...Well, it just seems like some ppl just aren't letting this happen for me!!! URGH
You see, if it were up to me, we'd have all the stuff for the baby that we need before the shower right now, since we're having the shower after the baby comes. But everytime I get something, I always get yelled at by someone in my or his family. (it would be nice if he stood up for us when his family does it, but I've come to the conclusion getting him to stand up to his family is a lost cause! lol). So all we've gotten so far is the crib, the change table, the stroller and some other small things like diapers, wipes, bath soaps ect...We still need lots! I won't even get into the list! All things we'll need for the time the baby comes that we can't hold off on till the shower! (have I mentioned that already!!lol).
So, I've been getting really mad at everyone telling me to stop buying stuff because THEY want to also buy stuff for the baby. That's great, and I appreciate them wanting to help, but no one seems to understand that a lot of stuff we need for BEFORE the shower and no one's made any attempts to get us this stuff yet! I also want the peace of mind of knowing we have what we need just in case baby comes early and so that I don't have to worry about putting stuff together and getting the nursery all done up at like 38 weeks pregger! I want to be able to relax at the end and I DON'T want anyone but me fixing up the nursery! That's MY project and everyone close to me knows that. K so moving on...So what I've done is set up a registry for all that stuff we need and gave the registry info to those who were b*tching at me and told them that this is what we need, and if they don't buy what's on that list by a certain date, then it's fair game for him and I to get it and they can't yell at me because this was their chance to jump in here. Everyone who I sent this to said it was a good idea! So great...that's good! But now I'm freaking out about them all waiting until the last minute to get the stuff, leaving us to have to scrounge around buy the rest of the stuff the last month of my pregnancy which would be harder than if we knew NOW what we'd be left to buy so we can budget and start getting it now so that, again, I'm not stuck doing getting stuff put together the last month! URGH! Sorry, are you guys following here? Or have I completely lost everyone with my rambling!!!? lol

I'm just soooo frustrated! I just wish everyone would just let me get what I want for the baby so that I have the peace of mind of having it! And if they really want to get some of that stuff, then get it and shut up about it! Don't just say, stop getting stuff because I want to be able to get you stuff too, and not jump in and ask "so what do you need and when do you want it by?" No one is making any committment to anything and now I'm left panicking about the what ifs and worrying about having to do everything my last month!!!
Please anyone, do you have any advice??? I need for these ppl to realize this, but I don't want to sound bossy or anything considering they just want to help. Yet they've been doing just the opposite by putting me through this!! GRRRRRRRRRR
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March 8th, 2006, 12:45 PM
JuneBug2006's Avatar Forever missing Gracie
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Vancouver Island, BC
Posts: 5,897
I will try to think of something to help you because I totally understand how you are feeling.......

The big difference in my situation though is that it wasn't until February until EVERYONE knew about our pregnancy. My parents were told in December/January but we were nervous on telling DF's family and so we just kind of put it off and off and off......

Well anyway, I have been real darn excited about the baby and all I could think about was shopping.....
At that point, my mom and I talked about when I wanted to have my shower and stuff like that.... I decided that April would be a great time as it is not too early or too late...
But then, I decided that I want DF and I to be able to pick the stuff we need and I wanted to be ready for Junebug....
We aren't rich and well, Junebug wasn't supposed to arrive here until about 2 years from now......
So for preparation purposes, I started shopping right away....

DF was kinda the same way, he wanted to wait until we had our shower because he knew that we have two registries and we have chosen everything that we want.......... And we both know that everyone would want to be buying things for the baby for us............

So the decision is now to have the shower in July (probably the first week or two). This way I can buy what I want to right now and that will leave clothes to be bought for the baby after it is born.
Ofcoarse since we don't know the gender, we can't buy anything gendered for Junebug..........

I know exactly what you mean about needing/wanting to be ready though.....

THERE ARE things that you need before the baby arrives and there are things that can wait.................
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March 8th, 2006, 02:25 PM
Join Date: Mar 2006
Posts: 3
I'd be frustrated too!

Can you ask all these "helpful" people to move your shower before the birth instead of afterward? Or maybe just have a small shower with just 10 or so close friends and family members just for baby necessities?
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March 8th, 2006, 02:39 PM
bluebutterfly's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Manitoba, Canada
Posts: 16,390
I'm not having my shower until after the baby comes either and yes I did hear "don't buy this or that wait for your shower so people have things to buy". But there are things that I do need before the baby comes and this means I can't wait for the shower. So, I just bought the necessities. Car seat, crib, pack and play, a few outfits (mostly onsies because since I don't know the gender I want to wait to buy real outfits, plus thats something you can get at the shower later) monitors, a box of bottles, breast pump (I think you should buy you're own breast pump if you get one because it is personal and only you know what kind would best suit you) diaper bag, and then some bath and changing needs for the baby. That still leaves a lot of choice for other people to buy. I don't have a stroller, high chair, swing/bouncy, I need more clothes, toys etc.

There are some things you can't hold off for if you're having the shower after. And people should realize that.

Thank you tasha_mae for the awesome siggy!

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