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pregnant~not husbands baby

Forum: Unplanned Pregnancy


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September 3rd, 2009, 03:21 PM
Super Mommy
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: St. Louis,MO
Posts: 590
I got pregant while seperated from my husband. We decided to get back together before we knew i was pregnant. He has stood by me throughout it all. This was NOT a case of cheating behind his back. We were not living together and we were both seeing other people. Baby is a girl, due Feb. My hubby knows who babys father is and all that. Im just looking for someone in same shoes who may have some advice. This is so hard. I dont know if the decisions im making are the right ones or not. No communication with bio dad by the way. Not at all! My choice.

Any advice is much appreciated!
Thanks ladies
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September 4th, 2009, 05:12 AM
sunshine411's Avatar Let's go MAVS!!!!
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Where everything is bigger....
Posts: 5,894
um its september, how can you have a baby due in Feb of 09?

Im confused.

ETA: ok I think I see that you are in the 2010 DDC, so your siggy is just wrong. I have never been in your situation, so Im not really much help. Hopefully someone will have some good advice for you. The only thing I can say is you may want to think carefully about the other father and his rights too. I know you said you have no communication with him, but he still has rights. If you havent told him the baby is his, that in my opinion is wrong too. But I get not wanting the wrong type of person to be in your babies life too. Thing is, its not really your call to make, he may have the same things to think about you. Is it really fair that just because he is a guy he doesnt get the choice to say that because he doesnt know.

Now if he does know and doesnt care, then I would go on about my business and work on making your marriage be the best it can be. Look at why it didnt work before. Try to work on those areas, so it doesnt happen again. Sounds like you can talk about anything with your DH, so dont be afraid to tell him. If you do, you'll just end up in the same spot you were before.

Good Luck.

Last edited by sunshine411; September 4th, 2009 at 05:36 AM.
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September 4th, 2009, 12:21 PM
Super Mommy
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: St. Louis,MO
Posts: 590
Bio dad knows about baby. I told him day i found out. He is legally signing his rights away and over to my husband.
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September 4th, 2009, 05:32 PM
JT_Mama's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Maryland
Posts: 3,978
I am not in the situation, but I wanted to wish you luck and say that you are lucky to have a husband who is so supportive!
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September 5th, 2009, 08:32 AM
Chunky Monkey's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Sylvania Township, Ohio
Posts: 22,176
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Hi! I am not really a member of this board but I know what you are dealing with. Though in my case I was getting out of a bad marriage and am still with Wyatt's daddy. Our baby boy was born a week ago on August 29th

I do know in most states the husband is considered the legal father in all the senses unless you have it proven otherwise. I have been getting information on the subject because my husband is NOT the father of Wyatt and right now I cannot get a birth certificate issued unless I name my husband as his father. I am right now on the process of having paternity testing done. So check with your hospital social workers who help with the birth certificate information. It might not be necessary for the bio father to sign off rights if its automatically assumed your husband is the father. But I am in Ohio. Not sure what the law for that is in your state.

I think its great you and your husband have been able to work it out and get past the issue. He sounds like a truly great guy!
Thank you KimberlyD0 for my absolutely beautiful siggy!

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September 6th, 2009, 06:54 PM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Orillia,Ontario,Canada
Posts: 18,319
I'm not a member of this board but my husband is not my baby's bio father. My husband cannot have children so we made the decision that I would DTD with a friend to get pregnant. My husband is going to be signing the birth certificate and raising the baby as his own just like he is with my older daughter.

So here I am.

I dont come here..and only came in because I saw this on the front page but feel free to PM me.
Our 3rd baby GIRL coming in August ♥

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September 14th, 2009, 10:44 AM
Join Date: Sep 2009
Posts: 1
I am in the EXACT same situation as you are. My husband and i were also seperated and were on the verge of getting back together and before we could I found out that i was pregnant. Only my husband is not as understanding as yours is. He won't talk to me and no longer wants to reconcile and now i am on my own. So, it could be worse. Just be happy that you have a husband who loves you and understands and now you can raise your daughter and be a happy family.
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September 14th, 2009, 11:26 PM
Posts: n/a
Hey I just wanted to wish you luck, I know your doing the best thing you can for your baby and your family hun.. Take it easy and ill see you over at the feb ddc.
btw like said above you need to eit your siggy our babies are due in 2010!
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September 16th, 2009, 05:55 PM
Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 66
Originally Posted by sunshine411 View Post
um its september, how can you have a baby due in Feb of 09?

Im confused.
umm...perhaps she meant Feb 2010.

As long as your husband is accepting of the child then I don't see a problem. However, if it would have been me I think I would have definitely looked in to terminating the pregnancy. Just personal opinion though. It would eventually, most likely ruin my marriage. I couldn't see my husband ever accepting such a thing.
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September 16th, 2009, 08:48 PM
Posts: n/a
I'm not in your situation hun, but I do know that in most states, Iowa for sure, and I believe Missouri is the same, that if you're married, whether your husband is the biological father or not, his name will automatically go on the birth certificate as the "father" unless you prove otherwise to the state..... I know this because I went through this with my ex-husband, we were still married when my 2nd son was born (and he is his biological father) but was denying him, and his name was automatically put on the birth certificate.

It's good that your DH is so supportive, and that baby's father has acknowledged that you're pregnant with his child, and not going to fight against you for DH to be her father! Good luck hun
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