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Pregnant after a 4 month relationship- Should I get married?

Forum: Unplanned Pregnancy


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October 20th, 2009, 10:39 PM
Jodi Dawn's Avatar Host of the Jan-July 05 P
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 25,747
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i say give it a little bit of time before you think about marriage. sometimes living with someone changes alot in the relationship. But congrats on the pregnancy
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November 4th, 2009, 08:45 PM
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Iowa
Posts: 12
My husband and I had/have a terribly rocky relationship. In fact, I have moved out of the house because we could not get along. We're going to try marriage counseling and work it out though. He is 52 and I am 25 (I know, I know).

We just got married two months ago and did so because we found out we were expecting. We're both a little old fashioned that way. It was certainly no reason to get married though, and I see that now (hindsight being 20/20 and all).

It sounds like you have a strong relationship though. I think you should follow your heart. I feel like we spend too much time worrying what other people think (I know I do, anyway). You're the only one living your life so do what you feel is right.
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November 4th, 2009, 11:21 PM
Brandielou's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Alabama
Posts: 2,178
I also saw this scrolling down, you have options to everything. I have been married for 3 years, together for 10 and marriage is not a joke. It is not something to jump into because you are pregnant, but did you two usually use b/c? I think if you plan on keeping the baby you need to figure out how it will be paid for, do you work to have health insurance? Even if you two did get married and want to be added to his insurance, pregnancy is a pre-existing condition and may not be covered. If you are going to have to get government assistance (like Medicaid) you need to check into that first because some states require an income worksheet for everyone in the household (married or not) so you could be out of the income limits for that as well.

Like someone else said, moving in together changes a lot of things, and since there is a big age gap, I think a lot of growing will have to be done. I would hold off on telling anyone for a while, especially since it is very early. If something does happen I think it would be a lot for you to deal with, all of that and telling and something happening. Good luck with everything

Thank you HeatherW for my beautiful siggy!
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November 8th, 2009, 10:53 AM
Join Date: Sep 2009
Posts: 39
hey.. I saw this and had to say that I am in a similar situation to you. I got pregnant about 1 month after beginning to date my boyfriend. I hadn't even known him for that long. I love him and want to be with him and we have a great relationship and I know that someday we will probably get married someday but we are certainly not rushing into anything just because we are having a child. My family has met him and they like him and his family loves me. Having a baby changes your relationship and I don't want to be stuck in a marriage with someone just because we are expecting. I saw see how things go and be happy with the way things are going now and if after the baby comes you decide to get married then thats great but I wouldn't rish into a marriage just because you are getting married. My parents always wanted me to do things in the "correct" order go to school.. get a job get married and then have kids.. but I think that they respect me more now for not wanting to rush into anything. Thats just my take on things being in a similar situation you are in.. hope it helps.
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November 19th, 2009, 10:47 PM
ak_mommie_of_4's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: May 2005
Posts: 1,504
As I like to say: Life Happens!

I had my 1st when I was 16, a sophmore in high school. I was scared out of my mind, I had been with the baby's dad for over a year. I thought I was in love, but the last thing on my mind was getting married. I am glad I didn't because he turned out to be a dead-beat. NOT saying this is the case with your BF. A lot of people getting married because they think that is what needs to be done when you get pregnant. It's the farthest from the truth. This is 2009 not 1959. No matter how scared you might be of what your parents think, you need to just tell them, you might be surprised how helpful and understanding they might be. If they are a little upset, it will blow over, that is why god gives us 9 months to prepare for a baby, it gives everyone time to adjust to the idea. If they are a little upset, it's okay! They will come around. Right now focus on what is good for you and the baby, not your parents. Don't go get married on a whim, if he LOVES you he will be there in a few years still, when you are completely sure you are ready to get married! Just think maybe then your baby could be the flower girl or ring barrer. Just some thoughts, hope you make the right decision for YOU and the Baby. Good Luck.

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