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Forum: Unplanned Pregnancy


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October 5th, 2009, 09:11 PM
Join Date: Sep 2009
Posts: 3
I'm 23 and in college, and I'm 6 weeks pregnant. My parents don't know yet. They finally met the father last night and absolutely hated him. He has a few mental issues, but then so do I, and while I love him, I can't make a relationship with him if he can't mesh with my family. It would be miserable for everyone involved. He's ecstatic about having a baby, and I don't know what to do. I need guidance and help, if anyone has had a similar experience. I keep praying for guidance, but I can't seem to find anyway to make the situation better. I'm totally lost, and I don't know what to do. I know abortion is not an option, but I don't know how to tell my parents, they're going to be so dissapointed in me. I just don't know how to handle this.
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October 5th, 2009, 09:24 PM
JT_Mama's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Maryland
Posts: 3,978
I am sorry you are going through such a rough time. Is it possible that they may come to like him if they get to know him better. One meeting really isn't giving him a chance. Maybe once they know about the baby they will be more willing to make an effort to get to know him and things can work out for you!
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October 6th, 2009, 06:10 AM
mommy2Breana+Brandon's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: PA
Posts: 39,401
I agree with what was said above.

Maybe have your parents meet him more than once to really get to know them

Good Luck telling your parents

Do you love food, entertaining, cooking?!?! Then you will LOVE Tastefully Simple. www.tastefullysimple.com/web/cpisch

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October 6th, 2009, 10:49 PM
Loving6's Avatar Formerly Loving4
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Missouri
Posts: 12,369
This is about you and the father of your baby.Your family comes second.The best thing you can do for your child is to make a life with this man,if you want to go that far.There is no turning back now that you are pregnant.Make the best of it.Good luck hun.

Mom to Dustin Jr, Jarren, Nathan, Alivia, Ava, & Ariea

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October 7th, 2009, 09:02 AM
flitabout's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Pipestone, Minnesota
Posts: 6,500
I agree with the other ladies that have posted, your family does come second, this baby is first whatever your choice. My mother hated my boyfriend (now DH) because we got pregnant right away. She wanted me to have an abortion, I refused I wanted my baby from the moment I knew that Nicky was inside of me.
But I can't help the feeling that there is something more you aren't saying. I don't know how the first meeting went but maybe the best thing you could do right now is sit down with your parents (hit your mom alone first they are always easiest to deal with) and find out what their concerns are with your byf. Maybe you can put some of their fears to rest before you bring up the baby.

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October 7th, 2009, 10:06 AM
laurabelle's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Oct 2009
Posts: 1,476
hi there. i know it seems like a tough situation. i'm 27 and 6weeks also. i just met my boyfriends mother a few nights ago, and he has never met my parents since they live halfway across the country and we havent been together all that long. i am absolutely petrified to tell them.
i also agree with the ladies. the baby is now your first priority. your parents will eventually understand that also, and i'm sure they will learn to appreciate his excitement about the baby, rather than him shying away from responsibility. good luck!
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October 7th, 2009, 11:59 AM
Join Date: Sep 2009
Posts: 3
Thank you everyone for the well-wishes, I really appreciate them. I'm planning to tell them this weekend, I just want to get it over with and be able to breathe easy again. I'm kinda hoping they latch on to the fact that they're getting a grandchild, which they have wanted for forever (my mom will pick up a baby, look and me and say "I want one!") but I can't get my hopes up too far. You know, plan for the worst, hope for the best. I know their concerns are mainly about the future I would have with this man, but when I try to explain things to them, they won't listen and start lecturing me about dreams I'll never see and that kind of thing. I've never been able to stand up to them, but I guess there's a first time for everything. I do like the thought about responsibility, he's 7 years older than me and he's very responsible. I'm just hoping they can get past his nervous tick and see the man that I see.
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October 7th, 2009, 12:40 PM
flitabout's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Pipestone, Minnesota
Posts: 6,500
A tick is nothing to fuss about, if that is the problem then maybe you should educate them on tourette's syndrome. I have a very old friend that still ticks as an adult. He is a great guy and great dad. So what if he ticks. Just let your parents know that with tourette's nervousness it does make the ticks worse. Do some research and print it out and take it with you, so that they have a better understanding of the problem, and that is just something that makes him, him. Help them understand before you tell them about the baby. One baby step at a time it might be easier to swallow it you don't dump everything on them at the same time. Oh and here is a good place to start.
Tourette Syndrome Association TSA Home Page

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October 10th, 2009, 08:08 PM
Join Date: Sep 2009
Posts: 3
I told them this morning at 9 am. They were ...... not happy (to put it mildly). My mother can't even look at me. My dad keeps grinding his teeth and pacing around the house, and i feel like the absolute worst person in the world because now my bf is mad at me for not coming to see him today like i promised. I keep telling him he's making me feel worse but he just isn't getting it. I feel like i could very easily go insane. I'm so desperately depressed. I'm still praying, but god hasn't seen fit to help me in a way i can recognize. The only good news is that they're willing to spend some more time with him, but only so i can't hold it against them in 40 years. Hey, i'll take it. Gotta find hope somewhere.
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October 10th, 2009, 09:37 PM
Amanda_Marie's Avatar Mommy to Owen
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Rochester, NY
Posts: 4,186
I'm sorry you feel so lost, I remember feeling that way when I first found out. I'm 22 and in college and my DH became unexpectedly pregnant. We want kids, just wanted to wait until we had careers. But I was TERRIFIED to tell my family, especially my mother because she wanted me to do things in "order" But we all know life never goes in order.... Anyways .. it was difficult she kept asking me if I was sure I wanted to keep the baby and I told her that there was no question and this baby is here to stay. You would have never known she reacted that way seeing her now. All she talks about is the baby and how she can't wait until he's here and she buys something for him everyday. It's going to be hard at first telling your family, but your an adult and they should respect the decision you make. Good luck!

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October 11th, 2009, 12:24 PM
Posts: n/a
Originally Posted by Loving4 View Post
This is about you and the father of your baby.Your family comes second.The best thing you can do for your child is to make a life with this man,if you want to go that far.There is no turning back now that you are pregnant.Make the best of it.Good luck hun.

I agree. If we all waited to find someone that our parents would have us be with, we may never be happy. My parents actually weren't wild about my DH when we first started dating (he's 15 years older than me-at the time he drank and smoked-neither of which they are fans of), but they now absolutely adore him. I think they like him more than they like me.

Being with him (if you love him) is going to be much better than being without him-regardless of how your parents feel. You're an adult and you need to make your life. Sometimes, parents don't approve, but they need to let you be an adult.
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November 8th, 2009, 05:08 AM
Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 7
Good girl for being open and honest with them. They needed to know and you've done the right thing by telling them. Just give them time to adjust to the news and they'll come around.
Despite what you've been told, what you are doing by having this baby IS wonderful and amazing and incredible! I would love to experience what you are experiencing just once in my lifetime! This little baby is such a precious gift Praying for you quicksilver

Last edited by rachelliott; November 8th, 2009 at 05:11 AM.
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