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Totally unplanned

Forum: Unplanned Pregnancy


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March 2nd, 2005, 04:57 PM
Join Date: Mar 2005
Posts: 346
Hi all,

Here I am still feeling weird by telling people that we are having a baby in September.

Long story.. I have a 6 yo (soon to be 7) and always thought that would be it. We're happy with the one we got. Trust me, he's a dream!

We have worked hard the past 4 years planning and opening a party/gourmet popcorn retail store of about 2000 square feet. This is our retirement or pass on to our son.
Things have been tough since we opened 10/04. My husband is in a dead end job as it is and we really took a big risk with this store, but what business isn't a risk??

Then, in Jan I take a test and find out I was pregnant. As all along I asked my husband, "What if I get pregnant?" His comment was always "Worse things could happen" So, when I broke the news to him, it wasn't what I thought. He looked at the test and said "You have GOT to be kidding me!" Not in a "Yeah"...more like a "Well CRAP!"

As I sit there and he storms off to the back room, my son says "Is he happy?" "Not yet honey, give him time"
As I get the "I don't want to go bankrup because we can't afford a baby" speech, I can't help but think I didn't get pregnant by myself.
So, I can totally understand the almost disappointment in others dh when it's a shock. But he has come around and is happy to know a little one will be around the house again. And he's happy our son will have a sibiling, which he never had. I have a brother, but we don't talk but one time a year...IF that!

I was on Lexapro for depression and anxiety which I immediately stopped taking and have now been praying more than ever for God to give me the strength I need to get through this roller coaster of a business and hormones. I still see a therapist 2 times a month.

I have a GREAT employee who I totally trust and get along with great.

Sickness has gone away, but, I'm trying to "hide" the pregnancy as long as I can so clients don't find out. I do MANY weddings and the last thing I need is a bride to think I can't handle her wedding with a belly.

I just can't help but think how in the world am I going to do this??!?! Sometimes I feel calm and know it'll be ok...others I almost freak out and wonder what have I gotten myself into?

And why after 4 years of NO birth contro....why now?!!? What is God's plan for NOW!?? As if I didn't have enough on my plate!!!

Thanks for listening...and honestly (as if I haven't been this honest already)..it hasn't been all giggles and grins with this pregnancy. I feel almost as if I'm "ok" with it other than "thrilled". Who says pregnancy and having a baby has to be all "yippees" and "glowing".
Just being honest.

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March 2nd, 2005, 05:06 PM
TylerJ1029's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: at my desk
Posts: 27,881
Welcome to JM and Congrats! I'm glad your DH is starting to come around. Your right you didnt do it on your own. Things will work themselves out. Sounds like you have a great business going. My DH loves popcorn, he'd eat it everynight if I let him. If a bride thinks you are "dissabled" while you a pregnant and cant do a good job then she's gonna feel pretty stupid when she gets pregnant and realizes that pregnancy is not a disability.
((HUGS)) Dont worry, things will work themselves out. I got pregnant within the first week that I started sleeping with my boyfriend (now my DH) and I was on the pill. We were both 20 and in school. Now he has a great paying job, we're saving for a house and I get to be a SAHM.

I hope you stick around here. Its a great support group!!!!

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March 2nd, 2005, 09:11 PM
kjomomma's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Somerset, KY
Posts: 1,262
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Hi Gayle and welcome to jm, I am Kelly the other cohost here and i will be the first one to tell you that no, pregnancy does not have to be all grins and giggles....I know this b/c I have been less than grinning or giggling with the baby I am pregnant with now. I am 25 and pregnant with my 4th child....a very unplanned baby. I am the kind of person that considers every baby a gift from God but that does not mean that it did not take me a long time to be "ok" with this pregnancy. and some days even though i will be having this baby any day now, I am still less than ok with it..most days i am freaking out trying to figure out how i am gonna do this. I totally understand how you feel and very rarely will anyone judge you here for just being honest. it has happened but rarely. especially on this board b/c we all are or have been in the same boat. I was on zoloft when i was pregnant with my 3rd and it was very helpful and she seems to have no negative side effects from it. This is a great place to vent, ask questions or just chat. I hope you hang around and I hope everything works out for you and your family. my dh has had a hard time dealing with this pregnancy but i think he is coming around and i think once he sees the baby he will be fine, if you ever want to chat pm me or catch me on here. I have been kinda scarce lately b/c of getting ready for the baby and i am also in the middle of an out of state move, but i check in at leasr once a day. hang in there.
Wife to Josh(30)
Mommy to:
Kyndal (6)
And Rayanna (2)
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March 3rd, 2005, 10:45 AM
3Xblessed's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Southern California
Posts: 2,745
All I can say is that everything will work out in the end! I am preggo with an unexpected baby like everyone else here (tell my students it only takes once....and guess what its true). This has not been a bed of roses for me and there has been a lot of stress between dh and I but it is getting better.

Don't feel bad for any feelings you have! A couple of months ago I even told dh that I would welcome a miscarrage (not true in my heart but it was a feeling). Now at six months we are both excitingly awaiting the birth of our baby girl - this despite dh possibly not having a job next year. Just have faith that you will get through this and will be stronger for it!
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March 3rd, 2005, 11:39 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Boothwyn, PA
Posts: 1,026
Hi Gayle- I am pregnant with unexpected baby #2! My first son is 4. We still don't know who will watch our baby when I return to school full time in Sept and we are currently stressing over health insurance. (SSSoooooo Expensive$$$$!) I am also a member of the "not so giggles and grins" pregnancy club as well. Anyway-I also believe things will work out. Welcome to JM and Congrats on your pregnancy!

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March 3rd, 2005, 12:52 PM
Ashtyns_mom's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Oklahoma
Posts: 4,998
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I agree with you not everyday will feel like "all "yippees" and "glowing"'

I know that I dont feel that way everyday, infact I feel that way very few days...
I know exactly what you are talking about!

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March 4th, 2005, 09:53 AM
Join Date: Mar 2005
Posts: 107
gourmet popcorn store? Whats that like? (sorry off topic)
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