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expecting too much?

Forum: Unplanned Pregnancy


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March 31st, 2006, 07:37 PM
Mom2DyJessAva's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: chicopee ma
Posts: 15,513
ok so well after 3 days of not seeing my boyfriend because he was mad at me for no reason he comes over tonight and it went pretty good all though i do have to say i was pretty uncomfortable and didnt no how to talk to him at first since he thinks i have bad communication (i have 1 word replies whenever he is mad instead of going off on him) but anyways i talked to him awhile back about our baby and how he still needs clothes..i spent well over 150 for things that he will need (clothes,onsies,socks) and my mom has spent a ton..she got him a swing and a boucer and to top it off she got me a diaper bag and is getting me his bedset (its going to be snoopy) and also the crib set! so all in all shes spending more then $600 and my boyfriend hasnt spent anything! also my grandma is getting me the stroller and play pen and my aunt got me the bassinet! so today he was like "i went to the store (to look for clothes for dylan) and couldnt do it..it just doesnt seem like im having a kid" and also said "ill just give u money and u buy it" which makes me mad because i want him to actually be involved but he doesnt see it but yet he complains about how mothers think they own there kids..am i expecting too much from him? i mean i am happy he made the effort to go and look at little boys clothes but i dont no..i want him to actually go and buy something not just me..guys are soo difficult!!!

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March 31st, 2006, 07:47 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Feb 2006
Posts: 2,903
You're pretty far along, if it hasn't hit him---uh...it's a little unbelievable.

He's in denial. Maybe he hasn't gotten as excited as you, obviously, soooo take him shopping!

That's right make him take you to the store, and get him all excited about the little clothes and all the fun stuff that him and dylan can do once he's born! Get him all lovey dovey about the baby!

And no, it's not too much to ask!
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April 1st, 2006, 11:42 AM
Mommy2Ethan's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: warwick, RI
Posts: 5,093
im due in a couple weeks and it still hasnt "hit " my d/f

he wasnt very interested in anything.. ihad my baby shower last week and cried for hrs when i came home with bags of stuff and he didnt care to even look at any of it...

i think its either gonna hit him when the baby comes and he will be a great dad... or
one that doesnt care. im hoping for option number 1

Ethan Michael 4/13/2006 8 lbs 12 oz 19 inches
Hunter Evan 7/29/2010 9 lbs 1 oz 20 1/2 inches
~Having a baby on my chest being serenaded by my beating heart is nothing short of amazing...~

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April 1st, 2006, 02:12 PM
mommytutu's Avatar mom to Emma & Jacqueline
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Bradenton, Fl
Posts: 13,831
You could always give him a short list of a few things the baby needs. Guys don't get into the whole buying baby stuff as much as us girls do.

I definately think you should take him to a doc appt. Just hearing the baby's heartbeat with help bring a little reality to it all.

He doesn't sound so terrible. At least he is making an effort, despite it being a small one. Hopefully once the baby gets here he will straighten up and be a good daddy!
Kayttie, in love with Shane, mom to Emma Brynn and Jacqueline Noel

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April 1st, 2006, 04:27 PM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Winnipeg
Posts: 13,011
I think you should take him shopping with you...Don't let him off the hook so easily! If you just take the cash, and go shopping for him, you're only encouraging the "distance" between him and his beautiful little baby boy (omg sandy! I just can't wait for you to have your baby!!! That goes to all you pregnant ladies too!!! )
And well if he absolutely insists on NOT going shopping with you, then you could tell him something like "well if you're only willing to contribute financially, then just forget it. Keep your money!" That might get him thinking. I mean, really! What is it to take a few hours out of his schedule that's dedicated to his baby? When it comes to spending time with his son, is he just going to throw money at you and tell you to do it for him? If you wouldn't stand for that, then don't stand for him doing it now, even if it's "just" for shopping for the baby...Does that kinda make sense??? If not, please disregard, call me an idiot under your breath, and then laugh at me for being dumb...lol JK Sorry I have a huge headache right now, and am not thinking straight. Good luck
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April 1st, 2006, 07:26 PM
Mom2DyJessAva's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: chicopee ma
Posts: 15,513
i totally agree with u..i dont wanna be like his ex and just keep taking money from him..u make perfect sense!..i also have another ultrasound monday and guess what! he wont be able to make it he works so ###### much..i also cant wait too see your babygirl! the first chance u get to post us some pictures please do! i also hope your headache goes away!

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April 1st, 2006, 07:55 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Southern Tier NY
Posts: 1,006
Please don't take this the wrong way. Some guys just don't get it until after the baby is born. That is just the way they are.

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April 2nd, 2006, 10:00 AM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Winnipeg
Posts: 13,011
Hmmm, I like the way happymommyof1 is thinking...you can manipulate the situation a little to work in your favor...I can't think of anything at the top of my head, so I'm no help there...But if you have a creative mind, you might be able to come up with something a little tiny bit evil just to get him to go...He won't ever have to know! lol
And yes, thanks, the headache is FINALLY gone! I hope you can get him to come...It would be such a shame for him to miss out on all these beautiful opportunities to get a sneak preview of his baby boy.
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April 2nd, 2006, 10:11 AM
justjaQ's Avatar Platinum Super Mommy
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Sterling Heights, MI
Posts: 19,640
my husband is funny about pre-baby things. he didn't even try to take off work for the ultrasound, and I'm 36 weeks and he's only been to one appt. (grrr)... i do the shopping and stuff on my own... but he's very involved once the baby comes. some of them are just like that, i guess. i don't push him this time, because i know he's excited in his own way, and since he's not carrying this baby, it isn't the same for him.
msjaQ- 28, pantheist AP detroit mama to:
timothy michael, august 31, 2003, 12:02pm, 8 lb. 4 oz., 21"- 38 wks.
melissa may, april 7, 2006, 1:31pm, 7 lb. 10.5 oz., 19.5"- 36.5 wks
nicholas michael, january 31, 2010, 5:12pm, 5 lb. 11 oz., 18.25"- 37.1 wks
damon michael, january 21, 2012, 1:31am, 6 lb. 14 oz., 20", 38 wks
rainbow baby left me at 6-1/2 weeks on 09.08.12~ never forgotten, sweet child

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April 4th, 2006, 05:47 PM
Meg-O's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Las Vegas
Posts: 1,341
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Please don't take this the wrong way. Some guys just don't get it until after the baby is born. That is just the way they are.[/b]

Yup yup yup!

When I got preg with Nick, DH already had a son so he wasn't super duper excited like I was.

He realized that there was a baby but wasn't super excited until he got here.

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