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Forum: Unplanned Pregnancy


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April 7th, 2006, 04:52 PM
Join Date: Mar 2006
Posts: 194
I apologize, this may be a little long.

Okay, so I broke the news to my Boyfriend, and ladies... I swear if I didn't know any better, I'd think that the boy got me preggers on purpose He was SO thrilled. It was very wonderful to have such support. So, naturally, we got around to talking about how we'd break it to our parents... and he told me that he had been planning on proposing to me within the next month or so ( ).

I mean, I never pictured learning that big news this way, but hey... it wasn't all that suprising. We've talked about marriage alot.

So anyway, now he wants to propse sooner. So we've agreed... engagement... THEN we'll tell everyone about the baby. He thinks it'll make it a little easier for my parents to swallow, and we are hesitant to share news about my pregnancy until we are out of the 'danger zone' and into my second trimester.

So. That being said. Once we do break the baby news (in June) we will, of course, be asked if we're going to get married before the baby... or after...

And me and my soon-to-be-fiance are really not sure what is best. We were planning on getting married in March 2007... which, no in perspective, is 3 months after the baby is due. Obviously, planning a wedding that I would want to happen BEFORE I really start to show, will be difficult... but we have a plan for it (cruise, get married on a private island just the two of us, big party when we come back for friends/family). But I was wondering if anyone else had any opinions that might help me make this decision...

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April 7th, 2006, 05:08 PM
koakoba's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Michigan
Posts: 5,063
Fist off - congrats!!! I would say, if you have your heart set on the perfect wedding already - wait until you know it will be enjoyable for you. At 3 months post baby, you will still have some baby weight, and may not be ready to leave the little one at home just yet. My girlfriend got preg around the same time as engaged, and they waited until her baby was almost a year. Now, 5 years and 3 kids later, she's very happy they waited. JMO - good luck and have fun with all the planning you get to do (baby and wedding).
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April 7th, 2006, 05:15 PM
mmsmom_25's Avatar Veteran
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 162
I got engaged just before we found out that we were pregnant, 5 and a half years ago. Some people will be bold enought o ask you if you are engaged just because of the baby (which really pissed me off!). We had our baby in Jan. of 2001 and we had a big beautiful wedding in Oct. of 2002, with our little girl as our flower girl. I think that planning a wedding while you are pregnant will be too stressful for you no matter what kind of wedding you decide to have. In my personal opinion I would wait a little bit longer after the baby is born before you get married. Either way congratulations and good luck with the wedding planning!
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April 7th, 2006, 07:49 PM
Mega Super Mommy
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Well, my fiance proposed to me in October 2005. We weren't planning on getting married until after I was done with school/or he got promoted and was making more money. Well I found out I was pregnant at the end of January, and I'm on my parent's medical insurance. Once I have the baby her insurance will drop me, so we decided that we were going to move the wedding up to November (a month after my due date). My mom (thank God she is sooo great) is doing most of the planning and just asking my opinion about everything. I'm very excited about getting married. Yes, I probably will have some "baby weight" but we will just have to make due. Good luck on your decision! Oh, and most importantly, CONGRATS!!
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April 7th, 2006, 08:16 PM
Star's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2006
Posts: 2,722
It was already known that my boyfriend and I were going to be engaged by the end of summer, but now that the baby is due in September, he wants to propose sooner. I'm to the point where I don't care as to when he does it. I don't want the "he only proposed because she's pregnant" looks either way.

My family all wants the wedding to be before baby. I don't really see a difference. Now we're leaning towards a May '07 wedding.

A couple of of friends (who are due one month after me) are engaged already and planning a weekend trip to Vegas to get married. We were invited along to do the same, but I declined.

Thanks to mtdk454 for the beautiful siggie!!

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April 8th, 2006, 12:46 PM
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I'm having my wedding in Spetember of this year and my DD will be 16 months old. We wanted a big wedding and I wanted to lose my pregnancy weight and have enough time to plan so we've been engaged since last December (so it's been over a year now) BUT wedding planning was the LAST thing on my mind when I first had Nicole so I'm glad we waited.

It's still pretty challenging trying to do all this planning with a baby! I teased my parents and said "now I understand why people have babies AFTER they get married... it's tough planning a wedding with a baby!".
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April 8th, 2006, 05:21 PM
**Jenn**'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: May 2005
Location: NJ
Posts: 11,433
Congratulations!!! I got engaged in October of 2004 and we started planning a wedding for May of this year. Well we conceived our little surprise in April '05. We decided not to cancel our wedding (we had sooo much planned already) and go ahead as things were. We got a lot of comments and everything to the extent of my fiance's parents going behind our backs to my parents to get them to join them in strong arming us into cancelling the wedding. They wanted us to do a quickie justice of the peace--great for some but not what we wanted or had planned. After a big blow out with his parents they finally eased up (but never completely dropped the subject ) and we continued to do what WE wanted to do. Now our son is 3 months and will be the most important guest at our wedding next month! People are ALWAYS going to have an opinion about the decisions you make for yourselves and your child, there is no escaping that. You guys need to do what you want. It sounds like you have a particular image in mind when it comes to your wedding so it would probably be best for you to wait. Like my Mom told me, Just because you're having a baby a little ahead of expected does not mean you need to give up your dream wedding--you CAN have both! Good luck to you and congrats again!
Our angel baby forever missed--1/3/03

Ailish Laura born October 20th, 2012.
8lbs 12oz and 20.75 inches

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April 9th, 2006, 09:32 PM
M!che!!e's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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me and dh were engaged for a year and a half before we got pregnant and we were just getting ready to plan our wedding. i decided not to rush the wedding because of lily since we had been engaged for so long. then this past march he decided to join the military and we had to have a city hall wedding anyways (the original plan was to go to jamaica with our immediate family and get married) now im in the process of planning a mid scale vow renewal for family and close friends.

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April 10th, 2006, 08:41 AM
JCat's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jun 2005
Posts: 1,665

My mate and I were engaged 2.5 years before we got married. I was 30 weeks. We had planned on an August wedding this year, nothing just family. Pushed it up because of child suport and medicad issues in the state we now live in.

I say get married whenever you feel best about it. Whether it's waiting or not. I would advise you to check out legalities where you live as to how the birth certificate is done for "single" mothers.

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April 10th, 2006, 10:38 AM
appifanie's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: NY
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DF and i knew we were going to get married before we found out we were pg, but we weren't officially engaged. We are engaged now, and we're going to get married soon so that I can get insurance and so we can move (he's military and we're moving on post to get a larger apartment and dishwasher and central heat and air)

i was thinking it'd be nice to renew our vows in a nicer ceremony in a year or 2 or whatever since we'll be rush and casual this time.
Olivia Grace ~ October 26, 2006 ~ 6:04a.m.

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April 10th, 2006, 01:33 PM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Winnipeg
Posts: 13,011
CONGRATS!!!!! Well, I'm not engaged or married for that matter, but I think going away will be wonderful! My b/f and I talked often about marriage and we're going to elope to somewhere nice and warm, and come back and have a HUGE bbq/potluck will all our friends and family! I'm actually even starting to think I want it to be just him and I at the actual wedding...We were planning on having our immediate family there, but as it stands, I'd rather it be just us. That way we can get married the first or second day, and then the rest of the trip is our honeymoon! I dont' really want to have our family with us for a whole week while we're there, because then there wouldn't be a real honeymoon...How great would it be to NEVER have any alone time while we're there??!! yuck! Plus, we'll have Little Miss Fiona by then, and SOMEONE will need to take care of her while we're gone! Preferrably my mom, so it would be best if we were alone for our wedding.

As for you, do what you and your soon-to-be-fiance feel is right. Don't let your families talk you into anything. If eloping is what you both really want, then go for it. If you want the big shindig, then have the big shindig. Don't compromise for anyone but yourselves. After all, this will be your wedding, your memories, your way of sharing your love for eachother.
Congrats again!
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April 10th, 2006, 10:03 PM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Oct 2005
Posts: 5,597
Congrats! My DH kinda did an informal proposal when I found out I was pregnant with my DD, then we just decided to go for a wedding before the baby was born. My parents preferred this anyways, and I did too since they were not gonna let my DH in the room when I had the baby otherwise. Anyways, we got married when I was like 7 and a half months pregnant.

Just decide what you want. If you wanna get married sooner than later then I say to go for it now, but if you wanna have a bigger and more formal wedding then wait.

Good luck and congrats again.

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April 12th, 2006, 03:28 PM
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i got married when i was 5months along... i didnt look pregnant so it was all good. my mom and older sister planned everything and i just had to show up.lol.
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April 12th, 2006, 07:01 PM
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First, congrats on your engagement!! I got married when I was 6 months along. I don't think I looked too pregnant. You can decide from the wedding pic in my signature. I will say that planning a wedding while you are pregnant can be stressful. I ended up breaking down a few times and yelling at a few rude sales people. But, I planned my wedding. And, it was worth it. My husband had more rights when I was in the hospital, because we were married. He could sign forms for me and stuff regarding our son. If we wouldn't have been married, he wouldn't have been able to. It came in handy while I was recovering from my c-section.
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April 12th, 2006, 07:46 PM
Join Date: Mar 2006
Posts: 194

All this advice has been SOO great It's given me a lot to think about and mull over.

I really appreciate everything guys! Thanks so much!
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