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Not sure if this is where to post this... just need to talk I guess....

Forum: Unplanned Pregnancy


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March 21st, 2010, 12:33 AM
Join Date: Mar 2010
Posts: 3
Hey there guys.

Well, some of you may have read my post in the general intruduction area, but here goes again.. I am 27 (wow I am getting old... ), in missouri, I work with animals, I have a bf... and I might be preggo's.

Duh; otherwise I would not be here.

I'm about 5 days late for my cycle to start, and my cycle is VERY regular... took a pee test and it came out negative, although I am not convinced... mostly because the women of my family tend to be VERY fertile, and get pregnant VERY VERY easily.

Talked to the bf this afternoon.. he was cool; actually he was way cooler than me. He is a little older than me (34) and does not have any kids yet (well, except for this) and has been hinting at wanting to 'settle down' and the likes.... as in he wants to get married and procreate.

Poor guy- I was a wreak- crying and sniffling and blubbering and I worked myself into a nice case of the hiccups; He just hugged me and held me close and told me to calm down that we would do this together. He actually sounded kindof excited... he kept saying 'we can do this... its okay!'... Which , of course in my state of panick may not have been the best choice because all of the sudden I started to really freak out; I think at some point I accused him of trying to get me pregnant purposefully... and something about 'back to the fifties.... barefoot and pregnant.... .. ... and may have called him a number of choice *words* . I really was in 'panick mode' because I dont remember what EXACTLY it was that I said, but whatever it was I was really upset about! He took it well; he will be a really good dad (when the time comes) Sadly, I dont think I can say the same for myself.. I tend to get a little wound up when things dont go how I want them to go.

I know he will help me; and I am surrounded by people who love me and care for me... but I dont have a working car; I have a job that pays just over minimum wage; and I WAS going to finish my colledge education this fall... and now what!??!?? I am definitely NOT in a situation where I could take care of a baby right now; what would I do if the baby gets sick-NO CAR! Or if I run out of supplies.... walking is fine and good now, but I dont think it would work with a baby in tow; especially if baby is sick or hungry or thirsty or any other number of baby 'state-of-beings'.

And what about healthcare... I can barely afford my own; let alone adding a kid to the plan... I mean, kids get sick- you only rarely see a kid running around WITHOUT the sniffles (especially this time of year... thank you spring!

I dont know... I guess the whole 'mommy' idea just freaks me out a little. I still feel like a kid myself to some extent... and I dont know about babies... I have never changed a dirty diaper- when my sister's kid stinks, I hand the kid to my sis and say 'the kid smells' and she fixes it. Ive never fed a toddler... I have watched the delicate dance in awe; but never done it myself. I have'nt even held an infant before; I simply did not hold my sister's kids as infants... I was afraid that I would drop it or pinch it or sneeze on it... My personal rule was that if it can't walk on its own, its too little for me to be comfortable with! And dont get me started on all of those fantastic things that happen to my own body during pregnancy... morning sickness, stretch marks, fatigue, swollen feet... yah-sounds fun.

Sorry ladies- I dont mean to be a poo-poo-head, I am just a little... well..... panick is really the only word I can come up with.. I am in a constant state of panick. nice. Just what I need.
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March 21st, 2010, 10:26 AM
Irish_Wristwatch's Avatar Running with Scissors....
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 16,275
well i think your best bet is not to panic or freak out until you know for sure, since your test was negative you might be worrying yourself like this for nothing!

If you are 5 days late a test would (in the majority of cases) turn positive if you were in fact preggo.

are you using any hormonal birth control? if you arent your cycle can vary from month to month so while you think you are late you could have ovulated later than usual and you might not really be late at all.

I think your best bet is to take another test (or 2) in the next few days and see what happens with those, if in another week or so you still havent had your period then i would make an appointment with your doc, or head to a walk in clinic, or perhaps a planned parenthood (if you have either of those around)

good luck and keep us posted!
Mom to 3 boys
07.10 - 10.11 - 03.13

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March 22nd, 2010, 11:48 AM
laurabelle's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Oct 2009
Posts: 1,476
hahahaaa.....i was in your almost exact same shoes. i'm 27, DF is 35. i'm now almost 8 months preg and due june 4. i felt the exact same way you did about pregnancy and children. guess what? i still do!
just bc you dont like or know how to take care of other peoples children, doesnt mean you wont love or learn how to take care of your own. plenty of women have had babies with completely no baby experience (even my future MIL!), that is what our instinct is for. and as i have read, babies are a lot more durable than one might expect!
anyhow, i know the feelings you are going through. being preg isnt all that bad. i havent even reached the completely miserable part and i'm almost 30 weeks! sure, ive had some moments of despair, but its a lot to do with the hormones and all that too.
if you need to talk or have questions, please feel pree to private message me, and good luck!
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March 23rd, 2010, 08:42 AM
Join Date: Mar 2010
Posts: 3
okay.... well, its official- I am pregnant.


Cant believe I actually put that down. AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Just taking one deep breath after another. I feel like a deer caught in the headlights... go left... go right. go left... but all I am doing in reality is standing there staring as a giant truck barrels down on me... well, lol-i guess it already hit..

I guess you can say that the panick has passed. Mostly because I have a definite answer. What was really killing me was the uncertainty.

The bf has been a real saint. I cant ask for a better guy, I love him so much! He proposed last night. And I quote: "baby or no baby, I want to spend the rest of my life with you." so sweet. Can't believe that I ended up with such an angel.
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March 23rd, 2010, 12:44 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Texas
Posts: 1,088
Sounds like you have a very supportive sweet guy on your hands, and that always makes things alot easier. I understand how you must feel.. but woman does this everyday. Dont worry, even though you are not sure how to react to someones else's child, you will be amazed at the mommy instinct that kicks in when you have you own. Good luck hon!! I'm guessing that you are probably due in November? Come join us on the November DDC.. lots of great support on there!! Hope to see you there!! ((big hugs)) and Congrats!!

Thank you Kara for my gorgeous siggy!

Dylan Vai Moses born October 26th @ 3:40 pm
9 lbs 22 inches
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March 23rd, 2010, 03:10 PM
benandali's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Ohio
Posts: 4,215
aw what a sweet guy! this current pregnancy was unplanned and a total shock as well. I am passed the freaking out, crying non stop phase. Come join the Nov DDC...actually, there are alot of us in there that have unplanned pregnancies!!
Thank you Natasha for the beautiful siggy!
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