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Cougar, weight obsessed, single, high risk, first pregnancy....

Forum: Unplanned Pregnancy


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April 7th, 2010, 05:38 AM
First baby, single @ 39
Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 1,943
I introduced myself on the Welcome page but thought this forum would be much more appropriate seeing as how I'm single and having my first baby with little-no support.

Due 11/9 ... Something that gives me cause to smile is the conception of this child... Valentine's weekend! LOL I'd given my "new BF" a card and he failed to return the favor, but as it turned out, he gave me a baby instead! LOL So yeah, that kinda makes me feel a little giddy. Sadly, he is not in the picture. With luck he might come around. I should mention he's only 25 (yeah, this expectant mommie has been dubbed a cougar). Essentially a fling with a cougar led to the conception of a miracle baby since I was told I could never conceive (PCOS, Endo, tipped uterus). All odds were against me but God works in mysterious ways I guess.

I am happy, but fearful too. I was the healthiest I'd ever been prior to getting pregnant. Never did I imagine how things would change in the first trimester. The nausea, fatigue like no other I've ever experienced and mood swings galore. I had a very strict, low calorie diet and by the 7th week still hadn't adjusted my intake enough for pregnancy and was becoming increasingly weak out of fear of gaining weight. You see, I'd been consuming 800-975 calories a day pre-conception and that was good for me. Exercise daily and happy as a lark. But all that had to change once my blood pressure dipped to 94/68 and I could barely walk across the room without wanting to pass out. I simply had to start EATING... and so I did. The bp is up and im not about to collapse anymore by just walking across a room, but the weight gain has begun and I'm ashamed to admit I'm having a hard time with it. Friends and family always presumed I had an eating disorder and restricting calories is an indication of such. I will admit to body dysmorphic disorder since I had been down to a size 3 pre-conception but still saw myself as a size 18. Obsession with the scale, diet pills, calorie restriction and exercise. Not good. All I keep thinking about is how I look and longing for energy again so I can get back to working out ...

Being single at my age and having just re-enterd the dating scene and now pregnant... has its ups and downs that's for sure. Lack of support only makes it that much more complicated. I always wanted to have a child, but never expected it to happen this way. Instead, it was to come with marriage and support. Life with a man who made me happy and viewed me as beautiful no matter what. But that's not the case anymore. Instead, I'm newly divorced without anyone and although I know I'll be fine (I'm a relatively strong woman and very self reliant) I want to be seen as beautiful, even with the bloating and weight gain. I want to have a man encouraging me and to be supportive of me thoughout the gestation of our child, but such is not likely to happen. I'm reaching out and relying on faith to get me through and hoping for the best. Perhaps this young man will ultimately come around, but I know that's highly unlikely.

Well this post was all over the place eh? Sorry about that. Hope maybe some of you can relate and maybe offer advice, encouragement or at the very least, help to keep my spirits up.
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April 7th, 2010, 07:21 AM
c'est_la_vie's Avatar Is it nap time yet?
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: EARTH
Posts: 27,742
Hi!! Welcome!

I'm due October 31st - You should come join us in the November 2010 Due Date Club - if you feel up to it! Lots of great tips & info for first time moms & lots of great ladies over there.

Eating healthy is SUPER SUPER important while pregnant. Its a huge myth that you have to eat enough for for TWO - you just need to eat enough to help with the massive volume of blood you're producing & replenish all the vitamins your little one is stealing from your body! So you can still keep fit while being pregnant. Just keep an eye out for those cravings! LOL

Being single & pregnant can be hard, I was broken off with my SO for a while while pregnant with our 2nd. & even now with number 3 coming I still feel single. You sound like a very smart & wonderful woman, so I'm sure it will all work out well. I hope the father does see the light & wishes to be apart of the babies life!

Lots of luck hun & we're always here for support!!
Mommy. Vegan & Straight Edge. Doula & Placenta Encapsulator. Animal Rights Activist.

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