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How do you tell your parents that your pregnant, and the father wants no part at all?

Forum: Unplanned Pregnancy


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September 5th, 2010, 10:03 PM
MissChryssie:)'s Avatar Katheryns' Mommie ♥
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Colorado
Posts: 56
My parents are very conservative. They are against teenage pregnancy, even though my mother was 17 when she had my brother, so she can't really judge me. The father of my baby is worthless. He's selfish, and he says he wants no part in my child's life. I'm 5 weeks pregnant and I have no job, and I still live with my parents. How can I possibly tell them that I'm pregnant, at 20 years old, with no father for my baby, and no job to support myself?
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September 5th, 2010, 11:00 PM
Love My Joey's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Oct 2009
Posts: 715
I woke up my mom in the middle of the night to tell her...which wasn't the best timing on my part lol. I said something like "mom, you know how Devin and I have been dating...well I'm pregnant". She said "what does Devin think". I said "he doesn't want anything to do with it". She said "so whats your plan". I said "I'm keeping the baby and finishing school and then I'll go from there". Then she said said everything will be fine (I was crying) and we would talk more in the morning. So we talked and she cried because it wasn't how she saw my life going. She made me promise to finish school and she would help me as much as she could. So that year, I finished school, I applied for government aid which was foodstamps, medical, cash aid, and wic. You should look into everything your state offers and take advantage of it, it was a total life saver for me. When my DS was born, I filed for child support which FOB now pays and I have sole custody. My son was able to attend the free daycare at my college and we still receive free daycare through the state which you should also look into once your LO is here. That was probably more than you asked for , but I hope it helped a little. You will feel SOOOOOO much better once you tell your mom...I promise!
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September 6th, 2010, 07:35 AM
MamaMandy's Avatar is it Spring yet??
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Maine
Posts: 383
Your mom *might* be against teenage pregnancy because she knows first hand how tough of a road it can be. Just a thought.

Have you decided what you want to do? As in, keep the baby, abortion, adoption? Strongly opiniated parents can push you into a decision that in your heart isn't right for you, so it might help to be sure before telling her. There are places that can help support you through this, you can google pregnancy counseling or pregnancy crisis centers. A lot are religious based, I know Family Planning is an exception to that, but if you do decide you are keeping the baby, the preg. centers offer emotional, financial and general life support to make it happen. Like, maternity clothes, baby gear etc. Hell, I am 32, no job, living with my parents - long story, but, we get by on temporary state aid, foodstamps, medicaid & cash assistance. It's a hard pill to swallow, fo rme anyway, because I used to be the caseworker managing these programs and am now dependent on them, first because of my daughter's health and now mine & another baby. But, you do what you gotta do, til you can find a better way, and these programs WANT to help you get off them & offer job & child care supports. I'm getting off track...I'd say, be sure what you want, have a general plan in mind before talking to your parents. If abortion is what you want, there's nothing that says you as a 20 year old woman have to tell your parents if you don't want to or aren't ready to tell them for a while.
Raising my kids with boundaries - NOT battle lines.

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There's a reason they are called dependents...

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September 6th, 2010, 04:24 PM
beckii's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I agree with the above, make sure that you know what you want to do before you break the news to your parents. I didn't, and mine tried to push abortion/adoption on me when I wanted to keep the baby (but I was confused).

I was only 16 when I got pregnant, and my parents took it rough at first. But they did come around, so who knows, yours might too! It will be hard, but just be strong and trust your instincts Make sure you research as much as you can into government aid and support programs in your area too. They can be a huge help when you have no one to talk to.

Goodluck hun!
beckii ... momma to my beautiful princess Mikayla Lynn 01.18.06
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September 21st, 2010, 02:34 AM
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Royalton, Illinois
Posts: 1
Originally Posted by ChryssieBbym View Post
.The father of my baby is worthless. He's selfish, and he says he wants no part in my child's life.
love. i know all too well how real that comment is. i'm 19, work as a CNA (and am going on with nursing) at a local hospital, and more or less support myself. and as far as the father of my child goes, i'm in the same boat. i'm 12 wks 6dys right now. i think i told my parents somewhere around my 6th week. i just couldn't take it anymore. i don't live with them, but i went over to visit and just kind of casually came out and said it. well. not so casual i suppose. i was balling because the saturday before that i was supposed to get an abortion (and no, not by choice). the father of my child and i had only been dating for a few months. i was on bc but everytime we had sex he, insisited on, "doing his business" on the inside if you catch my drift. so it really didn;t come as a surprise to me when, voila! i missed my period. i took 3 epts and all popped positive instantly. i took him dinner at work that night and you should've seen his face when i told him. all he could say were things like, "no." :i'm not having a kid." "we're getting you an abortion." blah blah blah. we split soon after. and he told everyone that he had made me get the abortion and so on. i caught him cheating on me at the end with someone else. really nasty. 8 years older with 2 children. but he can't take care of his own? 24 year old spoiled brat. whatever i guess. anyway. he's still denying it but that's alright, he'll be the one missing out on our beautiful baby (: as for the job, luckily until you get on your feet there are lots of programs to help out mom and baby. like medical card, food stamps, housing (which may be hard pills to swallow but if you keep that baby you have to think to survive!). the economy isn't great right now. so all you can do is try! just do the best you can. and good luck! let me know if you need to talk about anything!
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September 21st, 2010, 09:20 AM
mommy2Breana+Brandon's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: PA
Posts: 39,401
Just be straight forward with her. I am sure she might be upset but will support you in the end.

Good Luck

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October 7th, 2010, 08:40 AM
moonmama03's Avatar Reese Gabriel due 5/15/11
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Rockford,Il
Posts: 988
Ok, this is what I would do. Im a single ma of 2 btw, been there done this. You need to go down to Public Aid and ask to speak to someone. Learn of and get the resources that are avaliable to you! Take a day and decide what it is you want for yourself and this baby. Make a tentative gameplan! Have this all together when you go to your parents. Speak from your heart but with determination as you present these things to them. Then give them a few days. They will need time to absorb and think about things. I think youll be ok, ultimately your their child and they love you. Keep us posted as to how it goes!
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October 9th, 2010, 07:12 PM
Libby22's Avatar Super Moderator
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Palmerston north, New Zealand
Posts: 9,407
I have no job, Im 25 years old. babys dad does not want to know about his baby. Im keeping it. Im happy now I so dont need him. Can you go on welfare till you get on your feet? I still live at home too. Hope everything works out for you
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October 12th, 2010, 03:47 PM
Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 4
I had my baby without the support of the father or my parents. It is tough but I'm sure your parents will come around. Mine were mad at first but once my son was here they were just so thrilled things eased up. Just be honest with them and do what you think is best.
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